Saturday, March 24, 2007

You Can't Play Frisbee With A Cat !

"Saturday, in the park, you'd think it was the fourth of July." O.K., I wasn't at the park, I was down by the river next to my house. And I knew it wasn't the fourth of July, in fact I was sure of it. So I took Shithead, my cat, to see if he would play with the frisbee. Now, before you start thinking I'm not real bright (which everyone who's read my journal is well aware of), please be advised that Shithead will play fetch inside the house. But.....not outside! I threw the stupid frisbee and Shithead watched it go, nodding in approval at my well thrown toss. Zero ! Nada ! Zip ! So. I went and retrieved it and then tossed it again. He looked at me in amazement that I didn't learn the first time and I swear the little bastard was grinning when I returned with the frisbee.


So I dropped it on the ground. Then the sonofabitch started playing with it with his stupid seven toed foots. There are you happy now ? So I picked his fat ass up and went back inside and now we're not speaking until he apologizes. reports that Dr. Joshua Perper has anounced that he will hold a press conference Monday at 10:30 to reveal what killed Anna Nicole Smith. Gary Britner, spokesperson for the Seminole Police Department said the findings of Monday's news conference "are going to be a significant announcement".

In a related story, a businessman (?) from Hamburg, Germany shelled out $512,500.00 on two hand written diaries penned by Anna Nicole Smith between 1992 - 1994.

What's the difference between a girlfriend (boyfriend) and a wife (husband)? 45 pounds. (Ladies please note I referenced both women and men).  

The Pictures: I saw these photos on the Internet and I like'd them, So, here they are. I've also found a new site that's got some outrageous photos which I will share with you in time.

This Date In History: 1882; German scientist Robert Koch announces his discovery of the bacillus that causes tuberculosis. 1989; Elvis Presley enters the U.S. Army for 2 years.

Birthdays: Harry Houdini, magician (1874), Fatty Arbuckle, film actor, writer and director, (1887), Steve McQueen, actor (1930).

In Nascar: Carl Edwards won the Busch race at Bristol Motor Speedway today beating Matt Kenseth by three car lengths to the finish line. Kyle Busch finished third with Ryan Newman and Clint Boyer finishing fourth and fifth, respectively. Dale Earnhardt Jr., in a rare Busch start ran sixth and rookie Juan Pablo Montoya finished a respectable fourteenth.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment.

That's it for today my little frisbee fetchers. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !


talentmatterslv said...

Hey there, happy Saturday - in the park, no less - even if it ISN'T the fourth of July!  HA!  You must have been picking up on my Chicago vibe - I was playing that very song last night.  (Go back to yesterday's entries...)

Anyhoo, I DID, in fact, change the color palette of my page.  I posted an entry about it here:

Sometimes when I click my "view archives" button, it still shows older entries in the previous black and white with red accents.  I don't know it does that, but it does!  CRAZY!  

I'm glad you like the new colors!  I think I'll keep them for a while...


talentmatterslv said...

PS:  I LOVE that you named your cat "Shithead."  I'm sure you pronounce it "shith - eed."  Yeah, like your other cat "Asshole", pronounced "ash -olay."

HA!  Very funny entry, and I, too, am awaiting Perper's press conference.  There have been "leaks" and reports that he's going to say she died of pneumonia, and that a trip to the hospital could have saved her life.  The popular speculation, though, is that Stern killed her.  Who knows?

Sure will be interesting to find out.  And now that the baby's had her DNA test, we've got THOSE results to look forward to, too.  I don't think any of us are going to be surprised to see that Birkhead is confirmed her biological father.

But wouldn't it be great if it wasn't HIM?!  Stay tuned, I guess!  

Good luck with Shithead's appology.  Would that entail a dead bird being left at your door step?  HA!