Tuesday, July 31, 2007

It's Been Tuesday For 37 Hours !

Tuesday has moved slowly and I'm beginning to think it's stalling for time. It kind of reminds me of the Eisenhower doll. You wind it up and it does nothing for eight years. Maybe it's just me, but I think Tuesday's getting jealous of Wednesday and is trying to screw everything up. I'm on to you, Tuesday ! I can wait you out !

Tell me your drink: Although I'm aware of most of your individual preferences as to cocktails, I'd be interested to know everyone's favorite drink. You can either enter it as a comment or for the painfully shy, you can email me at JimSulliv3@aol.com .

Odds and ends: I was amused to see the barrage of emails to CNN protesting the story about Michael Vick and associates, and their alleged dogfighting activities. It seems there are people who feel that CNN has tried and convicted Mr. Vick before his court date, because of his race. Perhaps they should call "Podium Al" Sharpton to the rescue.... Supreme Court Justice John Roberts had a seizure the other day at his home. As it turns out, his health problems were "known about at the time prior to his confirmation, but felt that it wasn't a problem". Uh, a person who, in his interpretation of law, affects many people of this nation and it "wasn't a problem?".... Star Jones, the former co-host of "The View", has finally admitted to having a gastric bypass to lose weight. I am 100% in favor of this type of surgery, and I've seen it work. Jones, whose "holier than thou" attitude always rubbed me the wrong way, ferociously denied the surgery and boldly stated that she lost the weight through diet and exercise. This aggravates me no end because it implies that gastric bypass surgery is not an option and I know better !

The Iraqui legislature is taking a month off for vacation. While our troops are fighting and being injured or killed, the Iraqui legislature is taking a month off for vacation ! Well, we wanted their government to be more like ours, so...... Be careful what you wish for !

The Pictures: I received some interesting sculpture photos today which I may or may not include all today. They're super interesting, but I need more time to digest what the artist's intent was before I run the full layout. Today, I have a picture for my pal, Jackie. She's one hell of a gardener and my sunflower picture for her today only pales when compared to hers. You can check Jackie out by going to her site which is located under "other journals" on this site and is called "Life in Bama" or for the real lazy, just click this link. http://journals.aol.com/bamawmn46/lifeinbama/ . I've also included a picture for Pamela of the sunset in California.

Here's one of the sculptures. I'll give you details tomorrow.


This Date In History: 1941; German field marshall Hermann Goring sends a Nazi security director, Reynard Heydrich, ordering him to prepare a "final solution to the Jewish question": the extermination of the Jews. 1975; Jimmy Hoffa, the former president of the Teamsters Union, is reported missing. Although his body has never been found, He is believed to have been kidnapped and murdered (ya think?).

Birthdays: Jean Dubuffet, painter (1901), Evonne Goolagong Crawley, tennis player (1951).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:  After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve and said, "So,how's it going?" Eve said, "It's beautiful, God. Everything is so serene and wonderful. I do have one problem. It's these three breasts you gave me."

God said, "Yeah, I know. I thought you'd like them." Eve said, "That's just it, I don't like them. The middle one pushes the other two outward and when I walk, they get in the way, they snag things, they're a real pain."

God said, "Well, I'm kinda new at this. I gave the other animals six breasts and I thought you'd only need half that amount. But, I see your point and I take care of that." With that, God removed the middle breast and threw it into the bushes.

Three weeks later, God returned to speak with Eve. "So, hows my favorite creation?" Eve said, "Just fine except for one minor oversight on your part. All the other animals are paired up except me. Ya know it get's kinda lonely."

God said, "You know, you right! How could I have overlooked that. I will take a part from your body and create Man. Where's that useless boob I threw away?"

That's it for today, my little apple pickers. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Monday, July 30, 2007

Gourmet Dining On Sunday....It Doesn't Get Much Better Than That !

It was a dark and rainy night, as the novel began, and my pals, Dr. Marc and Rosie, stopped by and picked me up. We drove to Miami's Calle Ocho to have dinner at a well known restaurant called Casa Juancho. It's an exquisite Spanish restaurant and quite popular here in Miami. We chose Sunday because it's not quite as crowded as other nights and it was full, but not hurried. Marc and Rosie fully enjoyed my discomfort when, before dinner, a group of wandering minstrels, "wandered" to our table and sang 1,234 unknown folk songs in Spanish and occasionally, off key. 

One of the specialties of the house is a dish called paella, which takes a while to prepare, but is well worth the wait. The dish consists of an assortment of lobster, shrimp, scallops, clams and fish in a wine sauce served over yellow rice and is normally prepared for two or more people. A nice white wine and some bread filled the balance of the menu and it was delicious.

I had to order a piece of dark chocolate cake for dessert, served with a chocolate and rasberry sauce, which we all shared. Topped off with a nice cup of expresso, the evening fare was a gourmet's delight. We retired to the bar for after dinner drinks and after listening to a few songs from the entertainer, we left for home. It's been a while since I have dined at Casa Juancho and my hosts, Marc and Rosie, were very gracious. I enjoyed myself completely !

Weekend happenings and observations: Tony Taylor, the co-defendant in the Michael Vick dog fighting nightmare has plea bargained a deal with prosecutors and my thinking is Mr. Vick is in deep caca...... ! Tony Stewart won Nascar's Brickyard 400 Sunday convincingly over Juan Pablo Montoya...... The Iraqui soccer team won the Asian Cup soccer championship and during the fan celebrations, as they are wont to do, killed 4 people and wounded 17 by shooting their weapons into the air. I wonder what part of "what goes up, must come down" don't they understand...... The bankruptcy judge in the O.J. Simpson case is dividing up the rights to his unpublished book today.......

As The Stomach Turns: The Border Patrol agents jailed months ago for shooting a Mexican drug smuggler in the ass are yet unpardoned but, Scooter Libby was...... ! American Idol tryouts are beginning again, ad nauseum. I wonder who will be the "Sanjaya" of this group of wannabes......?

The next time you get one of those aggravating, bullshit solicitations in the mail, try this ! Take the "handy enclosed return envelope" that comes with the crap they send you and fill it with anything handy that doesn't have your name on it. This could be anything from toilet paper to the junk mail they put in your mailbox. Then seal the envelope and drop it in the mail. After they receive enough of their manure returned to them, maybe they'll reconsider sending that crap out. At the very least, the price of their mailing will increase significantly.

The Pictures: These before and after shots are of buildings painted by an artist whose name I only know as Eric. I hope they show as well as the quality pictures that I received today. They are simply fantastic.

This Date In History: 1619; The Virginia House of Burgesses, the first representative assembly in the American colonies, opens in Jamestown, Virginia. 1965; President Lyndon B. Johnson creates the Medicare system.

Birthdays: Emily Bronte, novelist (1818), Henry Ford, auto pioneer (1863), Casey Stengel, Manager of the New York Yankees (1890).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Check out the bathroom floor painting. Imagine walking into this bathroom after a couple of cocktails.


That's it for today, my littele shutterbugs. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Michael Vick and The Maryland Justice System Are Co-Winners Of The Cat's Ass Trophy !

A plethora of fine candidates for the Cat's Ass Trophy didn't not cause any concerns for Co-Judge Shithead (my cat) nor myself. We decided to award the prized Cat's Ass Trophy to co-winners Michael Vick and the Maryland Justice System.

Vick, although presumed innocent until proven guilty, receives his Award merely because it has been determined that there was illegal and cruel dog fighting on his property and his supposed ignorance that the dog fighting structures and arenas existed only gives his Award further merit.

The Maryland Justice System dismissed rape charges against a Liberian man because of the supposed failure of being able to find and provide an interpreter for the defendant. The man, who attended high school and some college in the United States, answered police questions in English and allegedly gave implicit sexual instructions in English to the seven year old girl that he violated.

The Department of Agriculture gets kudos for a close second place in their pursuit of caging the "Hemingway" cats in key West as opposed to, lets say, checking Chinese products for dangerous ingredients or stopping the daily flow of illegal aliens at the Mexican border. Uh, priorities, anyone? Doh !

My close encounters with the inhabitants of the ever mystical AREA 51 came to fruition last evening as we met at Lakes Cafe and Pub. I was joined by Hector and Lourdes, Marc and Rosie and even Carmen stopped by for a little while. Danny was the ever polite host and we had a good time. The karaoke show was emceed by Ben and there were quite a few talented singers last night.

I also got to see a lot of friends who I have not seen in a while including my pal and fellow musician George, Frankie the "Godfather", Aooogga (like the sound of an old car horn, that's his name), fellow singer Oscar and quite a few more. We'll be heading back there again next Wednesday.

The Pictures: Michael Vick, the cool dude before and the indictee after. Notice the change in looks and dress. It's funny how the droopy drawers, the misplaced hat, and the hair style becomes much more subdued when you be seeing 'da judge ! Of course, a picture, not only for Indigo, but "borrowed" from her album and .... you guessed it, the "usual suspects".

This Date In History: 1750; German composer Johann Sebastian Bach dies at age 65 after a failed eye operation. 1868; The 14th amendment to the U.S. Constitution is ratified giving citizenship and civil rights to Blacks. 1945; A B-25 bomber, lost in the clouds, crashes into the 79th floor of the Empire State building, killing 14 people. 1976; Two earthquakes, one 8.2 on the Richter Scale, happen in Tangshan Province, killing 240,000 people.

Birthdays: Beatrix Potter, English writer of childrens books and creator of Peter Rabbit (1866), John Ashbery, poet (1928), Bill Bradley, politician and professional basketball player (1943).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: You're going to like this one! I just got it this morning.


Just A quick note;  Shithead my Wondercat, just came out of the kitchen meowing while his mouth is still full of cat food. I can't described the sound except to tell you to try to say "meow" with your mouth full of food. It's a guttural sound and really funny. The he curls up at my feet to sleep and begins snoring. Too funny !  

That's it for today, my little crooners. Have a nice weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

Friday, July 27, 2007

It's Friday And I'm Heading For Lakes Cafe And Pub !

Well, it's Friday and before I screw up my computer any more, I'm going to happy hour at Lakes Cafe and Pub. My friend, Danny, runs the place and he's in the process of making a few improvements. I sure it's going to be a good wateringhole for the residents of AREA 51 and we're going to give it a go tonight. For the locals, it's located at 6125 Miami Lakes Drive East and the phone number is (305) 822-3077. It's been a while since I've seen some of my pals and I look forward to seeing everyone there.

Speaking of my computer, I made what I thought was a minor correction in Thursday's entry and royally screwed it up. If it wasn't for my obsessive-compulsive little mind, I would have just left it alone and gone on with Friday's entry. But, nooooooo, I've just got to correct the spelling or add a thought or something which would allow my pal, Murphy, to apply his long standing law. The end result was that I had to delete all the pictures and just add the one of Oscar the Cat (Surely you rant. Shutup and don't call me Shirley).

The Pictures: I just added a few today (my bad) because I fear that the the comp might screw it up again. If it works, I may add more (probably not).

This Date In History: 1866; Funded by Cyrus West Field and others, the first Atlantic cable is completed  allowing telgraph communication between the United States and Europe. 1940; Bugs Bunny makes his film debut in Warner Brothers cartoon "A Wild Hare". 1953; The United Nations, North Korea and the United States sign an armistice agreement ending the Korean War.

Birthdays: Leo Durocher, American professional baseball player and coach (1905), Norman Lear, TV producer (1922), Peggy Flemming, U.S. olympic skater and gold medal winner in the 1968 winter olympics (1948).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

The man walked into his brother's house, bruised and tattered. His brother asked, "Where have you been?" The man replied, "I just got back fron burying my mother-in-law."

His brother asked, "How in the word did your clothes get so torn and you get so dirty?" The man replied, "She wouldn't lie still."


Another little example of "airbrushing" ladies and gentlemen. I can guarantee you that whoever worked on touching up this photograph was up all night, 'cause Kathy Griffin ain't no spring chicken and she's never looked like that !

That's it for today, my little Tequila shooters. The CAT award and more tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Thursday, July 26, 2007

It's Oscar The Cat ! - Run For Your Life !



Look, I probably love animals more than most people, but I'm going to tell you something. If you see Oscar the cat coming towards your room, shut the door and don't let him in ! You'll live to thank me for this warning.

You see, Oscar was adopted as a kitten by a nursing facility and grew up in a dementia unit. He quickly became the darling of the medical personnel and patients, even making rounds with the doctors and nurses until....

Well, it seems Oscar has sort of a unique ability. He has accurately "predicted" the arrival of the "grim reaper" twenty-five times. Oscar's modus operandi has been to lie down beside several of the more sickly patients, twenty-five of whom died within 24 hours. Evidently, the cat is able to sense impending death and once sensed, lies beside the patient. While CNN, who aired the story, and others find this comforting, it gives me the "willies". I don't get the "willies" too often, but when I get the "willies".. (would you stop it with the "willies" ! Sorry !).

I mean, imagine, you're in the hospital, you're not feeling great, but then again, you don't think you're dying and you see Oscar and the Doctors walking towards your room. I don't know about you, but I'm getting up, I.V.'s and all, and closing the door. But, That's just me.

PostScript: Author's note; Just a quick observation and post thought. The above, while true, is intended to be humorously slanted. With the recent jailing of Michael Vick and other concerns of serious matter, I am very serious about the humane treatment of animals and some of the wonderful things that they do for people. I have personally seen animals with this type of "sense" and the comfort and care that they give to people who are ill is amazing. 

The Pictures: Oscar the prognosticator in his full glory. Take a look at sone new pictures, a picture for Indigo and, you know....

I went to Lakes Cafe, a local wateringhole, last evening to see my pals, Hector and Lourdes. As it turned out, I ran into my friend, Danny, whom I haven't seen in a while. Danny has recently acquired part ownership in the restaurant and lounge and has some pretty exciting new plans for renovations, which should take place within the next four to six weeks.Danny's plans include a number of improvements including karaoke with Will Smith as the emcee. Will is a good friend of mine and we have sang together on many occasions. This could be an ideal site for the AREA 51 group, in that it's very close to the former Krystel's Restaurant. I'm going there Friday and I hope you'll join me, too. I'll give you the address, phone number and directions in Friday's journal entry.

This Date In History: 1952; Eva Peron ("Evita"), popular wife of Argentine president Juan Peron, dies of cancer at age 33. 1956; Eguptian president Gamel Abdul Nasser announces the nationalization of the Suez Canal. On July 31st, Britain, France and the United States retaliate with financial sanctions.

Birthdays: George Bernard Shaw, playwright and critic (1856), Stanley Kubrick, film director (1928), Mick Jagger, rock and roll great.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A man will pay twenty dollars for a ten dollar item he needs. A woman will pay ten dollars for a twenty dollaritem she doesn't need. Married women live longer than married men. This due to the fact that married men are more willing to die. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is a new argument. 


If you tired of the old ladies poking you in the ribs at weddings and saying "You're next", try doing the same to them at a funeral. That usually eliminates the problem.

That's it for today, my little puppies. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The Perils Of Childhood And Other Associated Maladies !

Did you ever wonder how some people ever made it through childhood? With the understanding that the ability to procreate requires no major skills and unfortunatly, no intellectual quotient exams to qualify and pair the procreators, little tykes are born every day. Assuming the combined I.Q. of the parents exceeds 120 and given the idea that the product will gain 10 percent more intelligence over and above the parental I.Q. average, little Johnny comes into the world and begins the trek toward adulthood.

This given, I hypothesize and evaluate the following probabilities of the childhood of a few of our people in the news.

"Podium Al" Sharpton probably had his ass kicked by the neighborhood kids every day after school. Larry "da judge" Seidlin assuredly wet his bed as a child and developed a stutter early in life. Delusions of grandeur was his salvation. Rosie O'Diesel was permitted to nurse far longer than necessary. Debra Opri had all of her Barbie dolls taken from her at an early age, forcing her into a early desire to strike back at others, with envy and greed being her primary motivation.

Simon Cowell failed his first I.Q. test at age six when it was discovered that he lacked a personality. It was discovered that O.J. Simpson had his arts and crafts scissors taken from him in elementary school because of his inate inability to tell the truth. Howard Stern is the illegitimate child of Amos and Andy and is a half brother to "Podium Al" Sharpton. Dr Phil's parents dropped him on his head purposely several times. Ann Coulter was found to be lactose intollerant at an early age forcing her parents to feed her bull's milk and canned tuna for most of her childhood.  

The Pictures: Some old, some new, most "borrowed", this print's in blue. I did find a picture from Bayard, Nebraska. I'll bet you don't know which one it is. 

This Date In History: 1895; Pierre Curie marries fellow chemist Maria Sklodowska. The two researchers will share the Nobel Prize for physics in 1903. 1978; Louise Joy Brown, the first "test tube" baby is born in England. 1999; American cyclist Lance Armstrong wins the Tour de France. 2007; Famed journalist, a legend in his own mind, makes additional entry to fill out the category. Most readers don't see the obvious ruse. 

Birthdays: Arthur James Balfour, British prime minister (1848), Walter Payton, pro football runing back (1954).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:



That's it for today my little tricyclists. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

The Cockroaches Are Coming Out Of The Woodwork !

Unbelievable ! Just when ya thought it was safe to go back into the water ! Well, let's get started.... let's see, it seems Lindsay Lohan came out of rehab (and her coma), hit the streets for a time and was arrested again yesterday on DUI and cocaine possesion charges. Good to see that celebrity rehab is still everything it's cracked up to be.

An NBA ref has been charged with fixing games for the mob by blatantly charging teams with foul penalties. Wow, ya think?

I'm not going to get into the "You Tube" debate for the simple reason that I dislike politicians almost as much as I dislike attorneys. Suffice to say the my choice for the democratic nominee is still Sammy Davis Jr.  

The Federal Department of Agriculture is attempting to have the "Hemingway Cats", who roam freely on the grounds of the Ernest Hemingway House in Key West, Florida, caged and/or removed from the property. The cats, descendants of a cat owned by Hemingway and known for their paws which have six and seven toes, are popular with the locals and the tourists and are a major attraction for the property. My cat, Shithead, has seven toes and is a descendant of these cats.

The FDA should take over the patrol of the U.S. /Mexican Border and spend time stopping and deporting illegal aliens, terrorists and drug runners and let Key West handle the cat "problem". Shithead nominates the FDA for the Cat's Ass Trophy.

On a more pleasant note, Drew Carey has been selected to host The Price Is Right, replacing the retired Bob Barker. It's an excellent choice and restores my sanity, which went south for a time, when I heard they were interviewing Rosie O'Diesel as a possible choice.

The Pictures: I found these over the weekend. They're taken from a slide show I was sent a few months ago and I forgot about them. I find them interesting and I hope you do too. As per my wont, there's always a few oddities included.

This Date In History: 1847; Religous leader Brigham Young and his followers arrive at the Great Salt Lake in Utah and establishes a settlement later to be called Salt Lake City. When asked about the possibility of bringing more women and potential brides for the male members he responded, "That's fine with me and as to their age, I have no specific preference, just Brigham Young." 1866; Tennessee becomes the first state to be re-admitted to the Union after the Civil War. 1974; The U.S. Supreme Court rules that President Nixon must turn over the tapes of White House conversations about the Watergate scandal to prosecutor Leon Jawaorski.

Birthdays: Amelia Earhart, aviator (1897), Karl Malone, basketball player (1963), Barry Bonds, baseball player (1964).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:



That's it for today, my little skittles. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Monday, July 23, 2007

Jonathan Livingston Seagull Charged With Shoplifting!

We have early competition for this week's Cat's Ass Trophy (The CAT Award). Indigo has nominated Michael Vick, who is charged with animal cruelty. Although I believe in the right to a fair trial, I don't believe there's any question as to the fact that people were arrested and cruelly caged and injured dogs, along with a fighting ring were found on Vick's property, thereby qualifying Vick for the nomination. If Indigo had not nominated Vick, I certainly would have !

I am nominating the Maryland Justice System for it's blatantly stupid handling of a rape case. The defendant, who grew up in Guiana, was found not guilty of raping a seven year old child because the courts could not provide him with an interpreter. He attended high school and community college in Maryland, and answered questions from police authorities in English. It's amazing how one suddenly becomes unable to speak English when charged with a felony.

The You Tube debates begin tonight with You Tubers asking questions of the presidential candidates. While I feel that the host, CNN, will glean the questions being asked of the candidates, I'm sure they will know what the questions are in advance and their writers will have deep, yet vague answers already prepared. The mere idea of the likes of Oback Osama, Billary and the rest of these useless wannabees in the spotlight, allows me to maintain my candidate for president as a front runner. Yes, I'm refering to my candidate, Sammy Davis Jr, a dead, one-eyed, black Jewish man, who, in his current condition, could be just as useful for president as the current candidates.

Ladies, you know all those rag magazines that you see at the check out counters? The ones who show all these slim, gorgeous women dressed in their finest and who sometimes make you think how lucky they are? Well, take heart my little movie stars, most of it's done with a tool called air brushing. Yeah ! You don't think these women have moles, flab, bad hair days, weird body parts or fleas? Wrong ! Take a look at something I found today on my trek around I-land.


I, personally, like Faith Hill and just between you and me, I'll take Picture A or Picture B. The fact remains, however, that the picture was obviously worked on in the photoshop and with or without Ms. Hill's permission.

The Pictures: I've got a lot of material today, so I've somewhat slighted this category today. The new pictures I have are best viewed larger, so I'll run them in a larger format tomorrow or Wednesday.

This Date In History: 1952; The Free Officers, a revoultionary group led by Gamel Abdel Nasser, ousts Egypt's King Farouk I, in a coup. Nasser, himself, comes to power two years later.

Birthdays: Sir Richard Rogers, Supreme Court Justice (1936), Pee Wee Reese, baseball player (1918).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:    The Case Of The Seagull Thief

Ya gotta admire the moxie of this little bird, who after watching the ginger people in Scotland's equivalent of a 7-11, learned a new trick:

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That's it for today, my little cheezits. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned ! 

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Welcome Back, Potter !

Selecting the winner of this week's Cat's Ass Trophy was a slam dunk ! There's always one in the crowd and you can usually figure out who it is just by listening to him or her speak. It's the person who's happy to tell you that the movie "Titanic" has a crummy ending because the ship sinks. As you roll your eyes in disbelief, you are suddenly invigorated with the thought that this jerk is only 40 to 50 minutes away from a "Stevie Wonder head roll" and will pass out, usually with a one and a half twist into a nice coffee table or better yet, the pool.

Yes, my little puppies, the Cat's Ass Trophy goes to all of those fine folks who were involved in the premature leaking and printing of the new Harry Potter book. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your girlfriend !

Speaking of the Harry Potter series, I have never read the book nor seen any of the movies 'cause that's not exactly my type of fantasy, but I'm always happy to see kids reading. The mere thought of a child growing up somewhat literate is always encouraging, especially in this day and age.

 AREA 51 REPORT: As I told you yesterday, I really needed to "escape" yesterday and I hooked up with fellow AREA 51 inmates, Hector and Lourdes. We went to an insurance covention located in Doral, an excellent, first class hotel resort destination. The food and drinks were all complementary and we really enjoyed ourselves.

Later in the evening, we met up with Al and Lydia at a restaurant lounge called Capriccios in Broward County. We had a great time chatting, dancing and enjoying the music. As per my usual, I forced the band at gunpoint to allow me to sing a song or two. I also ran met a new friend and we danced the night away. I'm calling Al and Lydia later to see if I had a good time. We're all going over to Emilio and Melina's tonight for a get-together.  

The Pictures: I just started clicking and before I knew it there was a shipload (you thought I was going to say "shitload", didn't you). Anyway, there's redneck jokes and all sorts of stuff today, Of course, as always, a picture for Indigo and the "usual suspects".

This Date In History: 1861; Confederate General Thomas Jackson acquires his nickname "Stonewall" in the Confederate Army's convincing victory in the Battle of Bull Run. 1925; A Tennessee jury finds school teacher John Scopes guilty of teaching evolution and is fined one thousand dollars. 1970; Egypt completes the Aswan High Dam on the Nile River, a major Soviet funded project that creates Lake Nasser and provides much of the nation's electric power.

Birthdays: Hart Crane, poet (1899), Gary Trudeau, cartoonist (1940), Ernest Hemingway, writer (1899), Robin Williams, actor and comedian (1952).

My pal, Jackie, recently underwent surgery and is home feeling better and resting. I missed you, Jackson, and I'm happy you're home and well. 

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Words With Two Meanings

Vulnerable:  Female: Fully opening up one's inner self to another. Male: Playing  football without a cup.

CommunicationFemale: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male: Leaving a note before going on a fishing trip.

CommitmentFemale: A desire to get maried and raise a family. Male: Trying hard not to hit on other women while out with this one.

EntertainmentFemale: A good movie, concert, play or book. Male: Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

Flatulence (fart, for the hard of understanding):  Female: An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion. Male: A source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

That's it for today, my little raisinettes. Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

Friday, July 20, 2007

Up The Creek Without A Paddle? I Can Help !

It's Friday and I'm going to hit the road. I've been stymied (remember Stymie ?) in my social engagements since we closed Krystel's and tonight I'm going on a mission. While one awaits the grand opening of The Alibi, one still has to tend one's garden, albeit hoeing (sorry, Podium Al) and weeding. One must till the soil and prepare it for planting, sow the seeds and await the fruits of one' s labor (What in the hell is one talking about? Shut up ! One's on a roll). What the hell, I'm gonna party !

Heather Mills wants 100 million dollars from Paul McCartney. Paul has offered her 40 million. I'd kick both of their asses for $ 100. C'mon guys, get a life !

My buddy CB, a male black lab, passed away last night of old age. His Dad, Jimmy Swann called me today to let me know. Rest in peace, my pal ! 

The Pictures: I picked some flowers for 'ya. It's kinda mixed today, so pick and choose.

This Date In History: 1871; The province of British Columbia joins the dominion of Canada. 1881; Sioux leader, Sitting Bull, surrenders to the U.S. Army under a promise of amnesty. 1969; U.S. Appolo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin "Buzz" Aldron land on the moon, where Armstrong becomes the first person to set foot on the moon.

AREA 51 Report: I'm still waiting further news on the new restaurant. The natives are extremely restless and searching for a temporary site. I've been hanging out at Lakes Cafe lately and it's a brief repite from the monotony. I normally go there on Wednesdays. I'll let you know when I hear more. In the interim, here's a visual on how I feel without seeing my pals at our local watering hole:


Birthdays: Petrarch, poet (1304), Sir Edmund Hillary, mountain climber (1919).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:     "He Said; She Said"

He said: Why do you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it. She said: You wear pants, don't you? He said: Why don't we try swapping positions tonight? She said: That's a good idea. You stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa, drink beer and fart. He said: Why don't women blink during foreplay? She said: They don't have time. She said: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? He said: A widow. He said: Why are married women heavier than single women? She said: Single women go home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women go home, see what's in the bed and go to the fridge !  

That's it for today, my little poppies.The CAT Award and more, tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Thursday, July 19, 2007

I Have A Nominee For The CAT Award !

You know the type ! There's always one in the crowd, who normally doesn't have a life, and in their desire to be somebody or something, they feel the need to ____ it up for the rest of the crowd (fill in your own expletive). Yes, it really is the perfect prototype and definition for the word, Asshole !

I'm referring to the buttplug who has to tell you the ending of the story, the dimwit who has to blurt out the punchline when you're telling a joke, the lowlife who has to tell the answer to a story or a question before you can experience it for yourself. More importantly, the egotist who has to ruin it for everyone to feel any form of self worth. Thankfully, he or she is also the one whose spouse is busy doing the local high school football team while they are obnoxiously spreading their vast wealth of datum (you've got to think about the word "datum" to really appreciate the thought).

Yes, my little gun-toters, I nominate the (A) Leaking Scumbag(s) who have have manage to leak anything relating to the newest Harry Potter book. I haven't really figured out how to name the potential CAT Award winner(s), so if you've got a thought, go for it.

Hopefully, intelligent people won't bother to read or listen to these dirtbags, but you know what happens. You're listening to the news and without a heads-up from the reporter, they tell you the answer or the score before you can put your hands over your ears and shut your eyes.

The Pictures: Some fantasies I ran across in my daily trek arount I-Land. I hope you enjoy them !

This Date In History: 1553; Fifteen year old Lady Jane Grey is deposed after a nine day reign as queen of England. She is executed for treason the following day, 1799; French troops discover the Rosetta Stone, a basalt slab inscribed with three ancient languages that allow researchers over twenty years to translate the hieroglyphics of ancient Egypt. 

Birthdays: Samuel Colt, gun inventor and manufacturer (1814), Lizzie Borden, accused murderer (1860), George McGovern, politician (1922), Ilie Nastase. tennis player (1946).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming. Jimmy And The Red Truck Man

Ok, you're probably not gonna believe this, but the reason I didn't make my normal entry is because I was kidnapped by Red Truck Man. I slipped out yesterday afternoon for a cocktail with my pals, Hector and Lourdes. We gabbed and caught up on the events of the week and then they left for home. All of a sudden, Red Truck Man entered the bar and forced me to have another scotch.

I protested vehemently but Red Truck Man overpowered me and thus, I was obligated to consume another beverage. After an hour or two, he drove me to garden style apartment building and dumped me right there!

Fortunately, I was able to make it back to my apartment, uninjured. I was, therefore, unable to make a timely entry into my journal. Although you might not be buying this song and dance, I have a picture, which I was able to take while Red Truck Man was busy driving. As you can plainly see, objects in the mirror are obviously closer than they appear !


That's it for today, my little tadpoles. If, by chance, you didn't see Tuesday's entry, please take a look. I think you'll enjoy it !The CAT Award and more tomorrow.

Stay Tuned ! 

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

An Uneventful Day - So Far !

It's what's referred to by the media types as a slow newsday. They break out the archives and rerun old shows. Well not here, my little piccolo players ! Here is some of the news items that ran today. 

1) (A) Donald Trump invited (A) Rosie to appear on "The apprentice". Rosie said, "Not in this lifetime or after." 2) (A) Larry "da judge" Seidlin is being investigate for kickbacks and failure to report income. 3) (A) Rosie O'Diesel said the reason she didn't get the "Price Is Right" is because she would "gay it up" (She would ! I know). 4) The Republicans are filibustering in the Senate. 5) The Roman Catholic church shelled out 650 million in a sex case suit settlement.

You think that's news? Nah ! Take a look at the best photographs I've seen in a while along with my commentary.


American Flag $50.00    Gasoline $ 3.85    Lighter: $ 1.25

Catching yourself on fire because you are an asshole terorist........


The Pictures: Mostly a mixed bag today. Some pictures for Indigo, a remedy for Nancy, a gift for Anne and a picture of me (That did it! Surely they won't look ! Shut up and quit calling me  Shirley !).

This Date In History: 1941; Joe DiMaggio ends his consecutive game hitting streak of 56 games when he is held hitless by the Cleveland Indians. 1945; Harry Truman, Winston Churchill and Joseph Stalin meet at the Postsdam Conference. 1955; Disneyland, created by Walt Disney, opens in Anaheim, California.

Birthdays: John Jacob Astor, fur merchant (1763), Erle Stanley Gardner, mystery writer and creator of the Perry Mason books. (1889), James Cagney, actor (1899).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Blatant and Cryptic Hellos:

My Perfect Martini, Get well Jackie, I miss you already, Nice to see Indigo came home again, AREA 51 and all of it's inhabitants, even Dr. Saca Muela, Marc and Rosie, Lydia and Al, Hector and Lourdes, Harry and Tonto, Amos and Andy, Krissy, at Sometimes I Think, There's something about Mary, just Mary, Nancy at WKRP - Cincinnati, Pamela - The adhesives finally came off and the garden grows anew, My sweet Nicole (and JC), To my sister Jeanne - who began jogging in 2006 and I haven't seen her since, Anne, I left you a picture, Carmen, I'll see you sooner than you think, Barbie my love, Emilio and Melina, Avelino, my pal, Pepe, good luck with The Alibi, Possum S. Hemmingway, Larry and Rodie, To all my special readers who can't or won't comment (you know who you are).

That's it for today my little arsonists. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !   

Monday, July 16, 2007

Nightlife And Marriage - It's Like Oil And Vinegar !

I don't know if you've figured it out, but I'm a night person. There's just something about nightlife that just always float's my boat. Like the moth to the flame, I've always enjoyed this lifestyle and the things that go with it. Wine, women and song has always been my adage and my occasional nemeses. This brings me to a subject I enjoy, in retrospect, marriage and relationships.

I have been married twice, both times to beautiful and caring ladies, that still fill my heart with fondness and memories. They no longer, however, fill my house with things that I don't want, add to my "to do" list, or ask questions that could not be explained or answered by God, himself. This is due to the fact that I am no longer married.

My first marriage was a lesson in and of itself. Caroline was an intelligent and beautiful Italian woman who taught me a lot of things (whether I wanted to learn or not). One of the most striking memories is when we began "squirreling" items for our pending marriage. I recall being told that we needed to buy dinnerware as my exquisite collection of multicolored Melmac dishes and my "jelly glasses" were not appropriate for serving guests.

We went to purchase a beautiful set of dinnerware for eight ( believe it's called stoneware) and when I saw the price, I had a severe pain in my wallet. After returning to our apartment and unpacking the dinnerware, I was informed that the plates, etc, would be "just fine for us" and "Tomorrow we'll get our 'guest' dinnerware". I should have know right there and then, but..........!

My second marriage was to Susie, a strikingly beautiful Cuban girl I lovingly like to refer to as "Wanda Spendo". I recall coming home one evening and the television was not working. I told Susie that I would take it to the TV guy (that was his name, "TV Guy") on Monday.

Monday evening, when I pulled into the driveway, I saw my TV set sitting in the front of the house beside the sidewalk. When I entered the house, there sat Susie, in my chair, watching a beautiful new TV set. "How did you get that?", I asked. "I charged it", was her reply.

The next day, when I pulled into my drive, Maria, our next door neighbor, invited me inside her house for some Cuban coffee. As I entered, there sat my TV, working fine. I said, "Maria, I thought that TV was broken." Maria said, "It was, but I took it to TV Guy and he fixed it for fifteen dollars." I should have known right then and there!

The Pictures: I thought I'd show you some evening photgraphs that caught my attention. They go very well with the "Ken Burns" style, which pans and concentrates on certain portions of the shots. I especially like the Night Forest, and the Adobe picture, taken in Arizona. Oh...., I left out the "usual suspects".

This Date In History: 1918; The Bolsheviks, who recently took power in Russia the previous fall, execute former Tsar Nicholas II along with the rest of his family. 1945; The U.S. Government conducts the first atomic explosion, code name "Trinity", in Alamogordo, New Mexico. 1951; J.D. Salinger's novel, "Catcher In The Rye", is published.

Birthdays: Andrea del Sarto, painter (1486), Shoeless Joe Jackson, baseball player (1889), Barbara Stanwyck, actress (1907), Reuben Blades, singer (1968).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other person is a husband!

A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender if he served lawyers. The bartender said, "Sure," The man said, "Give me a beer and give my alligator a lawyer."

The blonde girl pulled up beside the trucker and said, " Sir, your losing your load." The trucker smiled, nodded and drove on.

At the next intersection, the blonde, obviously irritated, said to the trucker, "Are you deaf? I told you at the last intersection that your losing your load." The trucker said, "Lady, It's Chicago, it's winter and I'm driving a salt truck." 

That's it for today, my little shutterbugs. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Saturday, July 14, 2007

"Podium Al" Sharpton Wins Cat Ass Trophy For The Second Time !

By popular demand, (A) "Podium Al" Sharpton wins the Cat Ass Trophy for the second time. Sharpton, known for his magically appearing podium at any site, at any time and for no apparent reason, won easily over (A) Rosie "The Diesel" O'Donnell. Sharpton failed to appear at the awards banquet at KFC.

(A) Larry "da judge" Seidlin, the moronic, publicity hound, is being investigated by the Florida State's Attorney's office for accusations that he received gifts from attorney Lawrence "Chris" Roberts, who regularly represents clients in Seidlin's courtroom. Roberts told The Miami Herald that Seidlin asked for kickbacks in exchange for appointing him to his cases.

Robert's said that four years ago, Seidlin asked for a $1,000 Louis Vuitton handbag that he wanted to give to his wife as a gift. Roberts said he had his secretary buy the bag at Neiman-Marcus and she returned with the gift wrapped.

In addition, New Times said Seidlin accepted gifts from 81 year old Barbara Kaslin, among them, $35,000 for his daughter's tuition at Pinecrest School, a condo sold at below market price and property in Palm Bay and deeded to Seidlin's wife for $100. Seidlin's disclosure forms from 1996 to 2006 show no gifts from anyone.

The Bulls at Pamplona Score again ! Ya gotta love it. A bull in yesterday's festivities gored two brothers at the same time! Michael and Lawrence Lenahan, two wingnuts who were running with the bulls on the streets made famous by Ernest Hemingway, were taken down by an excellent move by one of the bulls, goring one in the ass and one in the back of the thigh. Neither wound was life threatening and another pair of idiots learned a lesson in life (we hope).

The Pictures: "Podium Al" Sharpton at his finest, accompanied by Rosie O'Diesel, Debra Opri and Larry 'Da judge" Seidlin (be still my heart). Our two idiot bull targets, a little humor and the "usual suspects".

This Date In History: 1881; In Fort Sumner, New Mexico sheriff Pat Garrett shoots and kills outlaw William H. Bonney also known as Billy the Kid. 1965; United States space probe Mariner flies by Mars.

Birthdays: Gerald Ford, U.S. president (1913), Ingmar Bergman, film director (1918).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:  Missing Pet Report

It was announced early this morning that Fanny Mae Williams has reported her five year chihuahua, Yappola, missing. The dog is a faithful companion and always accompanies Ms. Williams. The dog was last seen yesterday sitting with Ms. Williams, who was watching TV on her couch. When Ms. Williams got up to change the channel, the dog was missing and the back door was open. If anyone has seen this dog please let me know.


That's it for today, my little ducklings. More on Monday.

Stay Tuned !