Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The Perils Of Childhood And Other Associated Maladies !

Did you ever wonder how some people ever made it through childhood? With the understanding that the ability to procreate requires no major skills and unfortunatly, no intellectual quotient exams to qualify and pair the procreators, little tykes are born every day. Assuming the combined I.Q. of the parents exceeds 120 and given the idea that the product will gain 10 percent more intelligence over and above the parental I.Q. average, little Johnny comes into the world and begins the trek toward adulthood.

This given, I hypothesize and evaluate the following probabilities of the childhood of a few of our people in the news.

"Podium Al" Sharpton probably had his ass kicked by the neighborhood kids every day after school. Larry "da judge" Seidlin assuredly wet his bed as a child and developed a stutter early in life. Delusions of grandeur was his salvation. Rosie O'Diesel was permitted to nurse far longer than necessary. Debra Opri had all of her Barbie dolls taken from her at an early age, forcing her into a early desire to strike back at others, with envy and greed being her primary motivation.

Simon Cowell failed his first I.Q. test at age six when it was discovered that he lacked a personality. It was discovered that O.J. Simpson had his arts and crafts scissors taken from him in elementary school because of his inate inability to tell the truth. Howard Stern is the illegitimate child of Amos and Andy and is a half brother to "Podium Al" Sharpton. Dr Phil's parents dropped him on his head purposely several times. Ann Coulter was found to be lactose intollerant at an early age forcing her parents to feed her bull's milk and canned tuna for most of her childhood.  

The Pictures: Some old, some new, most "borrowed", this print's in blue. I did find a picture from Bayard, Nebraska. I'll bet you don't know which one it is. 

This Date In History: 1895; Pierre Curie marries fellow chemist Maria Sklodowska. The two researchers will share the Nobel Prize for physics in 1903. 1978; Louise Joy Brown, the first "test tube" baby is born in England. 1999; American cyclist Lance Armstrong wins the Tour de France. 2007; Famed journalist, a legend in his own mind, makes additional entry to fill out the category. Most readers don't see the obvious ruse. 

Birthdays: Arthur James Balfour, British prime minister (1848), Walter Payton, pro football runing back (1954).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:



That's it for today my little tricyclists. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !


fisherkristina said...

That last picture is very, very naughty.  Shame on you.  BTW, I loved the retro photos, some of them reminded me of my childhood, LOL.  But not ALL of them, I was not alive when Kennedy was shot.

Krissy :)

bamawmn46 said...

I remember when Kennedy was shot and I remember watching the funeral on our neighbor's tv. I wonder if the real Mona Lisa would get implants if available at that time??.... something to make you go, Hhhhhhmmmmmmm.........