Friday, February 29, 2008

Thank God It's Leap Day ?

Today is leap day of leap year. I'm not real sure of how important that is at happy hour in AREA 51 at Lakes Cafe and Pub, but I intend to find out. It's karaoke night this evening and I haven't sang there in about three weeks so maybe I'll perform tonight. I'm not real sure but after a few cocktails I guessing that most of the people will be referring to today as Leaf Day.

Nevertheless, If it's Leap Day, count me in ! I'm not sure what one does on Leap day, but I know it only happens every four years. Taking that into consideration, I'm sure it will be an extra special night with extra special people. Maybe there'll be a total eclipse of the heart.

                                                          Gif - Fri 01

We have, as of today, two nominees for the Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) award. Sherry has nominated parents who allow their children to stand in shopping carts in the supermarket. I subscribe to this thought especially when the child is seventeen or eighteen years old. Jackie has nominated the press (in general), for their ridiculous concept that John McCain would be ineligible to run for president because he was born in a U.S. military base in the Panama Canal Zone of military U.S. parents.

The CAT awards are open for nomination until Monday at noon. As always, anyone can make a nomination until that time.

The Pictures: With today being leap day of leap year, what else would you expect but leaping pictures? I don't, however have a picture (as of yet) of ten lords a leaping. I'm not even sure what that means and I suspect that I don't want to know. Author's Note: I did, in fact, find the ten lords a leaping. While there is a discrepancy as to how many lords were actually leaping and how many were reacting to a goose (six geese a laying), I was right in my first impression that this was an area where I would elect not to participate, but that's just me. I am sure, however, that the said "lords" would not fare well in AREA 51.


This Date In History: 1692; The Salem witch trials begin when Sarah Good, Sarah Osborne and Tituba are accused of using witchcraft. 1920; A constitution is adopted in Czechoslovakia, a new nation formed from the former provinces of Bohemia, Moravia and Slovakia after the breakup of the Austro-Hungarian empire. 1940; The motion picture "Gone With The Wind", one of the biggest production events in film history, wins eight Academy Awards. 1972; Hank Aaron signs for $200,000 a year, making him the highest paid professional baseball player to date.

Birthdays: Pope Paul III (1468), Gioacchini, Italian composer (1792), Jimmy Dorsey, bandleader (1904), Balthus, French painter (1908).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: The

Thirty years makes a big difference in your life and things have changed a bit....

1978: Long hair                                     2008: Longing for hair

1978: Screw the system                      2008: Restore the system
1978: Keg                                                2008: Ekg
1978: Acid Rock                                    2008: Acid reflux
1978: Hoping for a BMW                     2008: Hoping for a BM
1978: Going to a hip, new joint          2008: Getting a new hip joint
1978: Rolling Stones                            2008: Kidney stones
1978: Disco                                             2008: Costco
1978: Passing the driver's test          2008: Passing the vision test
1978: Moving to California because it's cool
2008: Moving to Arizona because it's warm
1978: Tryingto look like Marlon Brando and Liz Taylor
2008: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando and Liz Taylor.
Hunting Flies  (or Hunting Files for the dyslexci )
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting flies" He responded.
"Oh, killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked "How can you tell?"
He responded "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
That's it for today my little chocolate bunnies. Have a great and safe weekend. The CAT award winner(s) and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

Thursday, February 28, 2008

The Witless Media's At It Again !

Questions and investigations are fair tools for the media but some questions just make you wanna reach over and b*tch slap the questioner. This feeling came over me today when I read the current question regarding John McCain's birthplace and if he's  legally eligible to run for president. As per the United States Constitution, the president must be a "natural born citizen."

Mr. McCain was born on a military installation in the Panama Canal Zone, where his mother and father, a naval officer, were stationed. The ambiguity regarding the definition of a natural born citizen may need clarification. If, however, the clarification means that sons and daughters of U.S. military and citizens serving their country abroad are ineligible to run for the oval office, then I'll be the first to tell anyone and everyone that if they serve their country abroad and have children there, the children will not be eligible to run for the presidency.

The mere thought of the legality of the this idea is preposterous. The thought that the media has brought up this question only months away from the GOP convention, as opposed to the day that Mr. McCainran for the presidency the first time, is conniving and smacks of prejudice.

Methinks the media have more sway on the voting for the president that people realize and should begin policing their own lest they become little more than the paparazzi that continually hound and harass the likes of Britney Spears.

I strayed from my usual Wednesday foray into AREA 51 at Lakes Cafe and went to see my pals, Emilio and Melina. After some tasty chicken fingers that were prepared by Melina, we sat down in the family area. Emilio (with his trusted advisor, Mr. Belvedere) and I (with my advisor Johnny W. Black ((gold label I might add)) played dominoes until 3:00 a.m. My screen is a little fuzzy today. 

The Pictures: Today's photographs, some of which were sent to me by my pal, Gipsy, include more of the political cartoons that have hit the scene when Fidel Castro stepped down.


This Date In History: 1849; The California is the first ship of gold seekers to arrive in San Francisco, California. 1854; The Republican party is founded by a coalition in Ripon, Wisconsin. 1922; The British government announces it's acceptance of Egypt's wish to become an independent state, but states that Great Britain will retain considerable influence as well as control of the Suez Canal. 1984; Michael Jackson's album, "Thriller",  wins an unprecedented eight Grammy Awards.

Birthdays: Vincent Minelli, motion picture director (1910), Leon N. Cooper, physicist and Nobel Prize winner (1930), Mario Andretti, Indianapolis 500 winner and Formula One Grand Prix champion (1940).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My Perfect Martini sent me her opinion on "Why Men Have Better Friends"

Friendship between Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her
husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his
wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship between Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that
he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10
best friends, eight of which confirmed that he had slept over, and two
said that he was still there.

And From Jimmy's Corner:     T-G-I-F

A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying "T-G-I-F".

He smiled at her and replied "S-H-I-T". She looked at him puzzled and said "T-G-I-F" again. He acknowledged her remark again answering "S-H-I-T".

The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possible "T-G-I-F" another time.The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression "S-H-I-T".

The blonde, irritated, finally decided to explain things and this time she said "T-G-I-F... Thank God It's Friday.... Duh ! Don't you get it?

The man answered , "Yes I do, sweetie...S-H-I-T.... Sorry Honey It's Thursday."

That's it for today my little bungle bees. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

It's Going To Be A Cold Hump Day !

It's Hump Day and it's going to be cold tonight as a front is moving in. I'm sure that those of you who are shoveling snow out of your driveway will have little sympathy for tonight's projected low in the high 30's, but it's a wet cold in Florida and with a wind of 10-15 mph, it can cut you pretty good.

Nevertheless, assuming everything goes well, I'll be heading over to AREA 51 to see my friends and engage in the evening discussions. As always, my trusty sidekick, J.W. Black will be my advisor and confidant. I'm sure it'll be a fun evening.

Bobby Lee Cutts Jr, a lowlife ex-cop, was recently found guilty of killing his girlfriend and her fetus and then burying them. Today, the jury recommended a sentence of life imprisonment for at least 30 years without parole on several counts. Maybe it's just me, but I found that initial sentence, as read by the jury, was far too lenient. This scumbag killed (girl friend) Jesse Davis and her fetus, got another woman (Myisha Ferrell) to help him dispose of the body and then lied to the police saying he didn't know what happened to her.

When Cutts finally confessed to the crime, he went to court (with a fresh haircut and nicely dressed in a tax-payer provided suit) and cried to the jury saying it was an accident and that he didn't mean to kill her.

After the sentencing verdict, the family of Ms. Davis emotionally and individually addressed Cutts, stating how horrible and unimaginable it was that he could not only commit the crime, but then lie to them saying that he didn't know where Ms. Davis was. I felt sorry for the relatives, but I couldn't get the thought out of my mind that when you live with wolves, there's a chance you could get eaten.

The judge then addressed Cutts and made all the sentences of the crimes run consecutively (as opposed to concurrently), meaning that Cutts will not be eligible for parole for 57 years.

My hopes, prior to the initial sentencing verdicts was a sentence of death. When the judge made the sentences run consecutively, I came to the conclusion that an ex-cop, guilty of murdering his wife and unborn baby, probably won't fare well in prison. Hey Bobby ! Meet your new cell mate, Bubba !

The Pictures: My Pal, Garnett, sent me some bumper stickers that we might want to consider using, so I thought I'd show 'em to you. I also included some pictures of Jesse Davis, Bobby Cutts Jr, and his accomplice, Myisha Ferrell.

This Date In History: 1594; Henry IV is crowned king of France in Chartres. 1922; The United States Supreme Court declares the Nineteenth Amendment constitutional, thereby guaranteeing women's voting rights. 1973; Sioux Native Americans seize and hold Wounded Knee on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation, demanding a United States Senate investigation of Native American problems. 1974; The first issue of People magazine, a weekly publication featuring entertainment and social news, hits the newsstands. 1990; The Exxon Corporation is indicted on five criminal charges relating to the 1989 Alaskan oil spill.

Birthdays: Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, poet (1807), Charles Best, Canadian physiologist (1899), John Steinbeck, American writer and Nobel laureate (1902), Elizabeth Taylor, actress (1932).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My pal, Gipsy, sent me some political cartoons of Fidels Castro's announcement that he was stepping down:


And From Jimmy's Corner:  The three-legged Chicken

One day, a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 miles an hour when he noticed that there was a three legged chicken running along beside his car.

He stepped on the gas but at 50 miles per hour, the chicken was still keeping up. After about a mile of running the chicken ran up a farm lane and into a barn behind an old farm house.

The salesman had some time to kill so he turned around and drove up the farm lane. He knocked at the door and when the farmer answered he told him what he had just seen.

The farmer said that he knew about the chicken. As a matter of fact, the farmer said that his son was a geneticist. And he had developed this breed of chicken because the three of them each like a drumstick when they have chicken, and this way they only have to kill one chicken.

The salesman said, "That's the most fantastic story I have ever heard. How do they taste?"

The farmer said, "I don't know. We can't catch 'em."

That's it for today my little potato peelers. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Some Things Are Downright Scary !

Tuesday brings revelations in the form of a You Tube video I have not previously seen. I do not know the validity of the comments made in the video nor do I know its' author. If the video contains an ounce of truth, however, then the next twenty or thirty years should be very interesting.

To comment on its' content without you seeing it first would be inappropriate. I assure you that you will be amazed at some of the statistics cited in the video. As usual, your comments are welcomed and appreciated.


The Clinton-Obama democratic debate is on television tonight. It will be interesting to see how they react to each other. Here is some of my questions for the two "esteemed" candidates.

For Ms. Clinton: Although Mr. Obama did plagiarize parts of his speeches from another democrat, didn't you do the same thing

For Mr. Obama: You purchased your home and adjacent lot in Illinois from indicted Chicago slum lord, Tony Rezko, with whom you have been associated. Are there any improprieties there and was that ethical?

For Both Candidates: Since Ms. Clinton does not come from a dynasty and Mr. Obama has not been sent by God to lead us to the promised land, do you think it would bepossible to tell the voters specifically what you plan to do about the porous borders, the daily influx of illegal immigrants, runaway gasoline prices and the ailing economy?

Unfortunately, tonight will just be another pissing contest and the 24 million people that voted the other day on American Idol won't even be watching. Where's John Edwards when you need him?


The Pictures: Brother Kirt sent me some shots of some usual trees that I believe that you will find interesting. I've also added a few interesting pics from a new site that I found.

This Date In History: 1766; Empress Catherine II (the Great) grants freedom of worship in Russia. 1848; Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels publish the Communist Manifesto in London. 1919; The United States establishes the Grand Canyon as a national park. 1985; Tina Turner wins two Grammy Awards for her hit song "What's Love Got To Do With It?" 1993; A terrorist bomb explosion kills five people and badly damages the World Trade Center in New York City.

Birthdays: Victor Hugo, French poet, novelist and playwright (1802), Honore Daumier, French painter (1808), Levi Strauss, creator of blue jeans (1829), William "Buffalo Bill" Cody, guide, scout and showman (1846), Jackie Gleason, comedian and actor (1916), Fats Domino, rock and roll singer and pianist (1926), Johnny Cash, country music singer (1932).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: The following was sent to me by my pal, Garnett (edited and abridged).

The Seven Dwarfs always left early each morning to go work in the mine. As always, Snow White stayed home doing her domestic chores. As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their lunch and carry it to the mine.
One day as she arrived at the mine with the lunch, she saw that there had been a terrible cave-in.
Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had somehow survived.
"Hello, hello!" she shouted. "Can anyone hear me? Hello!" For a long while, there was no answer.
Losing hope, Snow White again shouted, "Hello! Is anyone down there?" Just as she was about to give up all hope, there came a faint voice from deep within the mine.
"Vote for Barack Obama,..... vote for Barack Obama."
Snow White fellto her knees, crossed herself, and prayed, "...OH THANK goodness! At least Dopey is still alive!"
Car For Sale In Ireland 

The following is an actual advertisement in an Irish Newspaper..! 

1985 Blue Volkswagen Golf
Only 15 km
Only first gear and reverse used
Never driven hard
Original tires 
Original brakes

Original fuel and oil

Only 1 driver Owner
Wishing to sell due to employment lay-off
That's it for today my little church keys. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Monday, February 25, 2008

Moody Monday And The Cat Awards !

Friday's journal entry evoked numerous nominations for the Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) award from my pal, Krissy, author of the journal, "Sometimes I Think". Krissy has been sick lately and so has her kitty, Mr. Michael. We wish both of them a speedy recovery.

Judging from Krissy's wrath in her nominations on Friday, she's feeling a little bit better, which is good. Both Shithead (my attack cat), and myself laid low until the bullets quit flying. Krissy's flurry of nominations were excellent and it didn't even dawn on me to make a nomination until after I posted Friday's entry. Unfortunately, neither Shithead nor I can nominate anyone after we post on Fridays, although the readers can nominate until noon, on Mondays.

Krissy nominated The New York Times, for their attempted hatchet job on Senator John McCain. She also nominated Michelle Obama who suddenly became proud of being an American (now that her husband, Barack "The Magnificent" has been sent down from the heavens to lead us to Nirvana).

Further nominees included the "illegal alien" who crashed into the school bus killing four children, Hillary Clinton for her criticism of Barack Obama's plagiarism and Drew Peterson, who was "surprised" to learn that the death of his third wife has been declared a homicide.

I'm not sure if Krissy made any additional nominees because by that time, Shithead and I were ducking for cover. Personally, if Old Timer's disease had not had its way with me, I also would have nominated The New York Times.

I received an email today from Beth, author of "Nutwood Junction", nominating Hillary Clinton for the CAT award and citing Clinton's weekend tirade of "Shame on you, Barack Obama". Obama allegedly has been sending out flyers concerning Clinton's position on a few items, including NAFTA, which Ms. Clinton deems untrue and distorted.

The continuing Clinton-Obama feud makes me realize just how much I dislike both candidates. Their party has nothing to do with my distaste for both. From Obama, whose naive platform seems to revolve around me, me , and of course, me, (ala Rudy Giuliani) to Clinton's predictable haranguing every time she drops a point in the polls has me fed up. How sad that the first democratic nominee will either be a woman or a black man and both are assholes.

After due consideration of the nominees by the esteemed judges, it has been decided that this weeks winner of the CAT award is The New York Times, for their hatchet styled, poorly timed, release of an eight year old story that they've been working on for a long period of time.

The remainder of the nominees are being given a "Dishonorable Mention", especially and specifically for Michele Obama, whose new found "pride" for America has surfaced, oddly enough, at the same time as her husband, Barack Hussein Obama, has decided that he will take his lead from Martin Luther King and lead all of us to the promised land. I am so pleased that Barack and Michelle are going to save us all because, until now, I have been relying on "Podium Al" Sharpton for my salvation.

While all of the nominees were undeniably qualified for the CAT award, there has to be losers among losers. Congratulations to The New York Times for their CAT award ! Keep up the bad work !

The Pictures: Some photographs from space are among today's selections. I found nothing today that even remotely qualifies as a theme, so it will be mix and match. I did find a cute little baby orangutan and a new political poster of the presidential candidates. I guess that borders on a theme, seeing that both are mammals and walk on two feet, but the orangutan didn't want to be insulted.

This Date In History: 1601; Robert Devereux, Earl of Essex, is executed for high treason after his revolt against Queen Elizabeth I of England's ministers. 1919; Oregon is the first state to impose a state tax on gasoline (one cent a gallon). 1964; Boxer Cassius Clay defeats Sonny Liston in Miami, Florida to win the world heavyweight boxing title. The same year Clay announces his conversion to Islam, changing his name to Muhammad Ali. 1986; President Ferdinand Marcos flees the Philippines, and the opposition leader, Corazon Aquino, is sworn in as president. 1998; Bob Dylan wins three awards, including album of the year for "Time Out of Mind", and his son, Jakob wins two awards at the 40th annual Grammy Awards in New York City.

Birthdays: Pierre Renoir, French Impressionist painter (1841), John Foster Dulles, secretary of state (1888), Anthony Burgess, author of the novel, "A Clockwork Orange" (1917), Neil Jordan, Irish film director and novelist (1950).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Some thoughts from my pal, Gipsy:

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's endlessly barking dog run to the end of his chain and then choke. 

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth,
think of Algebra.

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

We don't have this particular sign in AREA 51 at Lakes Cafe but I'll definitely lobby for it.


Bear Warning!

The Colorado State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while near wilderness areas.

They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears unexpectedly.

They also advise you to carry pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity.

People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings.

Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur.

Grizzly bear droppings have bells in them and smell like pepper spray.

That's it for today my little pigeon toes. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Friday, February 22, 2008

The "Lucky" Dogs Of War !

It's been a long week and Friday is here at last. That's an excellent reason to pack up your troubles in an old kit bag and head down to AREA 51 at Lakes Cafe and Pub for a few cocktails with my pals. On second thought, I'll just leave my problems at home mainly because I don't have an old kit bag. I had a brand new bag once, but that's another story.

Two heart warming stories about a couple of lucky dogs of war came to my attention today and I thought I'd relate them to you.

Although the first case involves his death, Sgt. Peter Neesly came across a stray dog and it's mother, whom he named Boris and Mama. Neesly befriended and fed the dogs and they became part of his Iraq family. Unfortunately, Neesly reportedly died in his sleep in Iraq. His brother, Patrick and his mother, Carey, arranged to have the dogs flown from Iraq to their home in Grosse Pointe, Michigan, where they now reside.

The second story is about Major Brian Dennis and a stray dog that he befriended and fed occasionally. He named the dog Nubs, because his ears had been cut off by terrorists to make the dog's hearing more acute (they alert the terrorists of approaching soldiers by barking).

A few weeks later, as conditions became more harsh, he found Nubs beaten severely, stabbed with a screwdriver and nearly freezing to death. He took care of him that night, attending to the dog's wounds and even sleeping with him because of the frigid night.

The next day, Major Dennis' company had to return to their main base 65 miles away. Two days later, while working on a humvee, Dennis looked up to see Nubs staring at him. The dog had tracked Dennis 65 miles back tothe base.

After securing a Jordanian veterinarian to prepare the paperwork, Dennis arranged to have a Jordanian family care for Nubs temporarily, while Major Dennis arranged to have Nubs flown to San Diego. A friend of Major Dennis is currently caring and training Nubs until Major Dennis returns from Iraq.


I've not seen any deserving (A)individuals worthy of a CAT award this week, nor have there been any nominations. Although I enjoy giving the CAT award weekly, it's always a breath of fresh air to have a week pass without seeing or hearing any jerks. Fear not, my little pussycats, the nominations are open until noon, Monday, and as we all know, there's always someone, somewhere just waiting to screw something up or make a social faux pas. We'll see !

The Pictures: The dogs of war - namely Boris and Mama, who were cared for by Sgt. Peter Neesly and Nubs, the down and out stray who trekked 65 miles to search out his new friend, Major Brian Dennis.

This Date In History: 1512; Amerigo Vespucci, the Italian explorer after whom North and South America are named, dies in Seville, Spain, at age 57. 1784; The Empress of China, the first merchant ship to trade with China, sets sail from New York. 1819; After long negotiations, Spain agrees to cede Florida to the United States. 1879; F.W. Woolworth opens its first five and dime store in Utica, New York. 1924; President Calvin Coolidge delivers the first presidential radio address from the White House. 1959; Driver Lee Petty, in a 1959 Oldsmobile 88, wins the inaugural Daytona 500 auto race at the new International Speedway in Daytona Beach, Florida.

Birthdays: Charles VII, king of France (1403), George Washington, First president of the United States (1732), Edna St. Vincent Millay, poet (1892), Edward Kennedy, senator (1932), Julius Irving, professional basketball player (1950).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: You have questions? I have the answers !

Why is a divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.

Where do Irish families go on vacation? A different bar.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.

What do you call a smart blonde? A golden Retriever.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife.

What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag.

What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.

What's the difference betweena new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What does it mean when the Post Office flies its flag at half mast? They're hiring.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? Are you sure it's mine?

What's the difference between a northern zoo and a southern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

How do you get an 80 year old lady to say the "F" word? Get another 80 year old lady to yell "Bingo !"

That's it for today my little Frito Banditos. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Candidates And The Media - From My Point Of View !

I'm a little surprised at the timing of today's New York Times' assault on John McCain, especially since this situation came up and was dealt with eight years ago. It seems to me that front page articles would be current news and if the media were to search all of the minuscule closet skeletons of all the candidates, we'd would not be voting because there'd be no candidates. It's rather easy to sit in the dark and cast aspersions, but then again, it's the New York Times.

As I have a republocrat, id est, centrist or independent mentality, I normally choose the best option, not the party nor the legislation. If one were to simply type Barack Obama's name into one's search engine, checking Wikipedia, one would find that the first term, junior senator was elected almost by default as the senator from Illinois because the favorites in the primary and then state races withdrew due to scandal and Obama's republican opponent was nominated three months prior to the state election. One might say he was elected without any opposition.

It would not be necessary to even search the Internet in the case of Hillary Clinton because her misfortunes have been in the headlines for years thanks to Bill and Monica.

In a time when more votes are cast for American Idol, the witless musical(?) soap opera, than for political elections, maybe it's time to put our priorities in order.

The United States military successfully destroyed the ailing, aging, satellite last evening, narrowly missing two witches, three UFO's and the moon, which had its hands full performing its patented lunar eclipse trick.

In More Important Matters, I have some questions for everyone. Aside from myself, who of you in J-Land subscribe to and/or play Pogo? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Then again, who's Chuck?

The Pictures: Since we're on the subject of politics and casting aspersions, let me cast a few of mine via the medium of photography. I found a few headlines and subjects, that under ideal conditions, we'd all like to see.

This Date In History: 1795; The National Convention formally separates church and state in France, allowing public worship in private homes. 1885; The Washington Monument, in Washington, D.C., is dedicated. 1965; Black activist Malcom X is shot dead at the Audubon Ballroom, in Harlem, New York. 1992; American skater Kristi Yamaguchi wins the Olympic gold medal in women's figure skating.

Birthdays: Leo Delibes, French composer (1836), Sam Peckinpah, motion-picture director (1925), Barbara Jordan, the first Black woman to win a seat in the Texas Senate (1936).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Being a musician, I've compiled some of my favorite musicians and songs for the older generation.

Herman's Hermits - Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Walker

The Bee Gees - How Can You Mend A Broken Hip

Bobby Darin - Splish Splash I Was Having A Flash

Ringo Starr - I Get By With A Little Help From Depends

Roberta Flack - The First Time I Ever Forgot Your Face

Johnny Nash - I Can't See Clearly Now

Paul Simon - Fifty Ways To Leave Your Liver

The Commodores - Once, Twice, Three Times To The Bathroom

Marvin Gaye - I Heard It Through The Grape Nuts

Leo Sayer - You Make Me Feel Like Napping

The Temptations - Papa's Got A Kidney Stone

Helen Reddy - I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore

Willie Nelson - On The Commode Again    

Grandma's deaf

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs, "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE. I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO. I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."

His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Gramma is!"

That's it for today my little goobers. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !