The denizens of AREA 51 are preparing as we speak for the Friday rites and rituals at Lake Cafe and Pub. Last week's excursion to Lakes Cafe was a pleasant experience as I was able to see the new karaoke emcee and hear the style of music he plays. In addition, he seemed to have a following and there was some new scenery to compliment the other lovely ladies who regularly frequent the Cafe. As a good will ambassador at large, I will be available to aid those who require assistance.
I had forgotten that some of the newer readers were not aware of the nationally known, highly desired, Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT), awarded to any asshole (defined as a person and/or entity who irritates, aggravates, defiles or generally pisses us off). The nominees from yesterday, along with any nominees made today, will be considered by the very handsome judges (what? shutup!) and the winner(s) will be announced on Monday.
You may refer to Wednesday's entry for the rules and conditions (? there are none). This offer void where prohibited, banned in Boston, lost at sea, never on Sunday, (what?)... except for members (honorary and otherwise) of AREA 51. All readers of Jimmy's Journal are automatically enrolled and made a member thereof, AREA 51.
Saturday night, NASCAR returns to Daytona International Speedway for the Budweiser Shootout. As a long time fan of auto racing, the return of the Sprint Cup to television replaces the ever annoying basketball games that seem to be on every channel you turn to.
There will be 23 cars starting at 8:00 p.m (EST) under the lights at Daytona in a twenty lap shootout that features previous pole winners from last year's series. Reaching speeds of up to 200 miles per hour, it is a race you shouldn't miss. It will be televised on FOX as a prelude to speedweeks and culminating with the Daytona 500 on February 17th.
ASK THE INDIANS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T GUARD THE BORDER AND CONTROL IMMIGRATION !
The Pictures: A deluxe ice fishing cabin in Maine, sent to me by my pal, Linda in freezing Washington, is among the Friday photographs. Talk about "movin on up", this dee-lux cabin is definitely my definition of "roughing it". A few Nascar photos and my usual eclectic additions round out today's selections.
This Date In History: 1904; The Russo-Japanese War begins after the Japanese navy launches a surprised attack on Poet Arthur, China, damaging and blockading the Russian fleet. 1915; The silent motion picture"The Birth of a Nation" directed by D.W. Griffith opens to mixed but popular reaction in Los Angeles. 1959; Charles De Gaulle, the first elected president of the newly formed Fifth Republic of France, takes office. 1960; Boston Celtic center Bill Russell pulls down 51 rebounds to set a new NBA record, later eclipsed by Wilt Chamberlain's record of 55.
Birthdays: William Tecumseh Sherman, general (1820), Jules Verne, French author regarded as the father of science fiction (1828), Dame Edith Evans, English actress (1888), Lana Turner, actress (1920).
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: The following are excerpts from comedian George Carlin and I subscribe to these thoughts one hundred percent ! (edited, revised and abridged)
I like big cars, big hooters, and big paychecks.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English.
I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.
I want to know what churches is it exactly where the Rev. Jesse Jackson and "Podium Al" Sharpton preach. And where do they get their money. And why are they always part of the problem and not the solution.
I believe if she has her lips on your willie, it is sex, and it is sex for both of you. This even applies when you are President of the United States.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or gods, just leave the rest of us out of it. This also applies to sexuality.
I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
My heroes are John Wayne, Larry the cable guy, and whoever canceled Joan Rivers and her clone, Melissa.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I am freezing my ass through a long winter?
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shutup and get over it already.
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation of the world for the next four years.
I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.
I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement.
I am neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
If that makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
That's it for today my little speed demons. Have a safe and great weekend and more on Monday.
Stay Tuned !