And The CAT Award Goes To............

The Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) award for last week was considered over the weekend and the fine judges (namely myself and my trusty attack cat, Shithead) have decided upon a winner. The nominees were:  CNN, nominated by Sherry, for their bias and ass-kissing on Super Tuesday; Rush Limbaugh, nominated by Beth, for generally always being an asshole, but going over and beyond the call of duty during his tirade about John McCain; and Fred Phelps, nominated by Garrett, for being the disbarred attorney, pastor of a church where 75% of his congregation are family members by blood or marriage, and an anti-everybody hate monger.

The winners for the week of February 4th are CNN and Rush Limbaugh. Although Fred Phelps could have also been a winner, people of his ilk would likely be nominated and win each and every week, thereby denying our readers and members of AREA 51 the chance to single out the occasional blatant train wreck and nail them to the proverbial wall. So, congratulations to CNN (also known as Detroit South) and Rush Limbaugh for your impressive accomplishment. You 'da  men !

We embark on another week, beginning with Mundane Monday, but with new energy and the knowledge that someone or some entity will pull a bonehead stunt or make some stupid decision or remark, that will allow them to be nominated for this week's CAT award. As always, your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to weed out and find these jerks and make their transgressions known.

My Friday foray into the social world led me to AREA 51 at Lakes Cafe and Pub accompanied by my sweet Nicole. We arrived a little early, but after last week, early is only early when you've already had a cocktail, or simply put, just in time. An unusually large party was going on when we arrived and the place was crowded. When I asked Danny, one of the owners, what was up, he said it was a party of DEA agents. Brrrrr ! It was a fun evening and we had a good time.

Although neither Nicole or I were in the mood to sing, the new karaoke guy (he told me his name, but you know me) seemed a little prejudicial, seemly more prone to calling his cronies to the stage than the regular singers. This opinion was also voiced to me by several of the regular performers. We'll see what happens next week.

It was great to see Emilio and his lovely daughter Krystel, Hector and Lourdes, Dr. Marc and Rosie, and Dr. Saca Muela, all of whomcame in latethat evening. I was also pleasantly surprised to see my friend George, an excellent guitarist and singer. Among the others there Friday were Danny, Richard and his wife, Bob and Jeanne, and many others. I did miss seeing Gipsy, whose lovely voice I always look forward to hearing. Perhaps next week.

Dale EarnhartJr., won the Budweiser Shootout at Daytona International Speedway Saturday night (which should please Sherry). It was an exciting race which was decided in the last few laps. That event was a prelude to this weeks qualifying races that lead up to the 50th Daytona 500 next Sunday. Jimmie Johnson and Michael Waltrip qualified first and second respectfully on Sunday for the front row starting positions of the 500 with the remainder of the field racing for the balance of the starting positions in Thursday's Twin 125 qualifying races.

The Pictures: Today's pictures are a mix of the weekend, including a somewhat blurry one of myself and my sweet Nicole, some of the photos's from Saturday's Budweiser Shootout and a beautiful picture of a doe and fawn sent to me by my brother, Kirt.

This Date In History: 1567; A conspiracy to kill Lord Stuart Darnley, second husband of Mary, Queen of Scots, is successfully carried out on this night. 1900; The Davis Cup is first won by its donator, Dwight F. Davis, and his doubles partner in Brookline, Massachusetts. 1950; Senator Joseph McCarthy claims that the State Department has been infiltrated by Communists. He is later censured for his tactics. 1964; Ed Sullivan presents the Beatles on his weekly variety show, helping to advance the careers of the "Fab Four" in the United States. 1971; Satchel Paige is inducted to the National Baseball Hall of Fame.

Birthdays: William Henry Harrison, ninth president of the United States (1773), Lydia Pinkham, entrepreneur (1819), Amy Lowell, poet and critic (1874), Dean Rusk, educator (1909), Carmen Miranda, Portuguese actress, singer and dancer (1909), Robert Morris, sculptor (1931), Alice Walker,American poet and author of the novel, The Color Purple" (1944).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My brother Kirt was the provider of the following observations:

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car. A penny saved is government oversight. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. It is really not necessary to exercise when you grow older because you get more than the required amount by walking around the house trying to remember what you were doing. Did you ever notice the roman numerals for forty (40) are "XL"? He who hesitates is probably right. If you think there is good in everybody, then you probably haven't met everybody. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so that he can tell when he's really in trouble. I am thankful for the fact that wrinkles don't hurt.

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell."

The shrink said, "My dear, that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."

The wife replied, "The problem is it wakes me up."

                      

OK, this is how I imagine the conversation went:

Walmart employee: "Hello, Dis Walmarts, watchu need?"

Customer: "Yes, I'd like to order a cake foragoing away party"

Walmart employee: "Watchu want on it?"

Customer: "Best wishes Suzanne and underneath that we will miss you."

 

That's it for today my little dixie cups. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

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