Friday, June 21, 2013

NYC Mayor Bloomberg Needs to Be Put In A Home

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s latest plan for the Big Apple is to require residents to separate food waste for collection to be composted by 2016, following a voluntary program at 150,000 single-family homes and 100 apartment buildings.

The diminutive, dimwitted mayor with an obvious Napoleon Complex is fresh off his fight to limit the size of soft drinks and introducing bike sharing. Bloomberg is taking aim at dinner plates, requiring New Yorkers to separate their food waste from their regular trash for composting.

Residents will be asked to save chicken bones, rotting fruit, and stale bread in special containers in their homes, which they’ll have to deposit in larger curbside bins that will be emptied weekly by sanitation trucks.

Building superintendents say they’ll face the extra burden of enforcing the city’s rules and keeping the buildings free of unwanted critters lured by the smell. With an average of eight rats (excluding politicians) per person in NYC, I imagine the city streets will have the look of a Golden Corral buffet for rats.

Bloomberg is in his last year as mayor and judging by his inane, stupid projects, his next move will be to a nursing home.

Laugh Lines: A lady walked into a jewelry store and bent over to look more closely at a piece of jewelry, inadvertently breaking wind. Embarrassed, she looked around to see if anyone had heard the "accident" and prayed that no salesman would come to attend her until the "fog had lifted".

Her worst fears were realized when a salesman came to assist her. Hoping that the salesman was not near at the time, she nervously asked, "Sir, exactly how much is this lovely bracelet?" The salesman responded, "Lady, if you farted when you looked at it, you're gonna shit when you hear the price."

A lady is golfing with some friends. After sinking her first putt, she's on her way down the path to the second tee when she gets stung by a bee. She rushes the short distance back to the clubhouse, hoping to find a doctor.

She bumps into the resident golf pro, who says "What can I help you with?" The woman tells him she's been stung by a bee. The pro asks, "Oh really, where?" The lady replies, "Between the first and second hole." The golf pro says, "Your stance is probably too wide!"

That's it for now. More soon.

Stay Tuned !