Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Caca Has Hit The Oscillator !

First and foremost, an emergency Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) Award is hereby awarded to AOL for letting AOL journalists know in October know that J-land is shutting down in November. The reason being given is that AOL is not making enough money.

Here's a suggestion. Fire all of the non-English speaking, Indian hacks that are posing as AOL technicians and hire Americans. Then, re-invest time and money into AOL Journals.

In the interim, I suggest that everyone start making an email list of all their favorite journalists as a means of contacting them when a new site for J-Land can be found. It seems to me that if a good blog site is contacted by J-Land representatives (to be determined) with the proposition that a good number of journalists will subscribe, the outcome will be better for all.

I have begun making inquiries today and will do so for the rest of the time available until J-Land shuts down. If anyone has any thoughts or ideas on this subject please contact me.

It's day two of let's find a way to further screw up the economy, headed chiefly by those zany, thieving politicians whose antics keep us on our toes. You have to understand that most politicians are not too bright by definition, for if they were, they'd be the ones escaping on golden parachutes.

Nay, my little buttercups, politicians trek through life unaware of the definition of economics and morality, staying steadfast to their plans to collect as much monies as they can get away with. The few who are already wealthy and/or educated, are only serving in politics to fluff their egos and further their legacies.

You see, smart people don't become politicians. They make as much as 100 times more than politicians and have no time for, or interest in, the politics of America. They do, however, use these little pinheads to further their own interest by contributing directly or indirectly to the politician's pockets. So, be patient, my little gun-toters, their doing the best that they can considering what they have to work with. I'm Jimmy and I approved this statement.

The Pictures: All the cat lovers, who, while enjoying yesterday's dog pictures, asked for equal time. So, today's pic's are from the world of cats. Cat's are a delicate bunch and not big on performing stupid people tricks. Rather, they are aware that cats were worshiped as gods many years age and they have never forgotten that.

It is unwise to meddle with cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer. They suffer from many different ailments but I have never met one who suffered from insomnia. They are also much smarter than dogs. If you do not believe this, try to get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow. One of my girlfriends once told me. "It's either me or the cat." I miss her, sometimes.

This Date In History: 1791; Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart conducts the premiere of his singspeil "The Magic Flute," just over two months before his death. 1927; Outfielder Babe Ruth of the New York Yankees hits his 60th home run of the season, breaking his own record and setting a mark that would last until 1961.

1946; Following World War II, the International Military Tribunal in Nuremberg, Germany sentences 11 leaders of Nazi Germany, including Field Marshall Hermann Goring, to death for crimes during the war. 1949; The Berlin airlift, caused by the Soviet blockade of overland traffic to West Berlin, ends after more than 277,000 flights from Western nations, which supplied the city with food and fuel for nearly 11 months.

1955; Actor James Dean dies at the age of 24 in an automobile accident in California, having starred in only three motion pictures. 1972; Pittsburgh Pirates outfielder Roberto Clemente collects the 3,000th and final hit of his career, three months before dying in a plane crash while on an earthquake relief mission.

Birthdays: My pal and fellow AREA 51 member, Anne. Have a happy birthday, Baby! (19XX), Park Chung Hee, South Korean president and brother of Park Place (1917), Truman Capote, writer (1924), Robin Roberts, baseball pitcher and brother of Robin Redbreast (1926), Elie Wiesel, novelist (1928), Martha Hingis, tennis player (1980).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Thanks to my pal, Garnett for the following quips.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

Mahatma Gandhi, a famed maker of excellent rice, walked barefoot most of the time. This produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

That's it for today my little mongeese. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Monday, September 29, 2008

All Politicians Suck!

Friday's trek to AREA 51 was very enlightening as my first stop was at Lakes Cafe and when I arrived, the first thing that I noticed was that all of the video machines had been removed from the premises, thus alerting me to that fact that the pending sale had been closed.

Sure enough, not five minutes later, I was introduced to the new owners and more importantly, the plans for changes and renovation are very positive. Having stopped at my pal, Emilio's house for some pre-flight fueling prior to going to lakes Cafe, I was already loose and ready for an interesting evening.

I ended up singing "After The Loving" (Engelbert Humperdink) in the karaoke show and after a few hours getting to know the new owners, Emilio and I headed over to The Billiards Club for a nightcap. As it turned out, there were quite a few of our friends there and we ended up staying there a little longer than expected.

The end result was that I remember that Emilio and I were talking with a young lady named Marta and then I went home. The next day, while browsing my cell phone, I noticed that Marta's cell phone number was in my phonebook and I swear, I have no idea how it got there. Oh, and I have no idea if I arrived home before or after the paperboy as I never saw the newspaper.

Paul Newman, who starred in more than fifty major movies in his acting career, died Friday at his home in Westport, Connecticut, at the age of 83. Newman, who was nominated for Oscars ten times, was a three Academy Award winner. He also won an Emmy award and a Golden Globe award. Besides acting, Newman was also a successful race car driver finishing fifth at Daytona in 1977 and second at Le Mans in 1979.

In 1984, Newman teamed with Carl Hass and formed Newman-Hass racing and joined the Cart open wheel series (now the Indy Racing League). The team has won 107 races and 8 championships.

Newman's Own, a brand he created in 1982 with writer and neighbor A.E. Hotchkin, began as a joke and started out with the marketing of his personal oil and vinegar salad dressing. The company has since become a household name with many products and all profits going to charities. In 2007, the company had donated more than 175 million dollars.

One of the few true gentlemen, Paul Newman's legacy will live on through his movies and the Newman's Own charities. May he rest in peace.

The Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) Award had one nomination this week. Jude, author of My Way nominated the CEO of Washington Mutual for his stellar helmsmanship in guiding the institution to failure. I concur wholeheartedly and my hopes are that his golden parachute fails to open. The CAT Award goes to the CEO of Washington Mutual.

Today's Thought: The one track, party minded lawmakers and politicians failed today in their feeble attempt to past the 700 billion dollar bail out, thus reassuring me that they are incompetent, ignorant and greedy assholes....and that's their good points!

The Pictures: Dogs are often in the news and for the most part, it's usually good news. Dogs sometime attack thieves, prowlers, street monkeys and the like, but that's because they're trained to do so.

Occasionally, however, you hear about dog attacks or people who have been bitten my dogs. Did you ever wonder why these normally affectionate animals go postal? The answer is in the pictures.

This Date In History: 1829; Legislation introduced by Sir Robert Peel reorganizes the London police force. Thereafter, London police will be known as "Bobbies," named after Peel. 1862; Otto von Bismarck, the newly appointed premier of Russia who will its wars of unification in the next decade, declares that "the great questions of the day" will be settled "by blood and iron."

1938; In the Munich Pact, France and Britain agree to Adolf Hitler's demand that the Sudetenland, a German-speaking region in Czechoslovakia, be ceded to Germany, in exchange for Hitler's assurance of peace. 1988; The United States space shuttle Discovery is launched, the first launch sincethe explosion of the space shuttle Challenger over two year before.

Birthdays: Miguel de Cervantes, novelist (1547), Horatio Nelson, naval commander (1758), Elizabeth Gaskell, novelist (1810), Enrico Fermi, physicist (1901), Lech Walesa Nobel laureate and president 0f Poland (1990-1995) (1943).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up and said, "I do...why?" The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, " I just thoughtyou would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside."

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough, Silver was about dead from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got him some water and after a few minutes, Silver began to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, please run circles around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him feel better." Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe," and took off running circles around Silver.

There was little the Lone Ranger could except wait so he returned to the bar to finish his beer. A few minutes later, another cowboy came into the bar and said, "Who owns that big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stands and says, "I do. What's wrong with him now?" The cowboy says, "Nothing, the horse is fine, but you left your Injun running."

That's it for today my little animal crackers. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Friday, September 26, 2008

Party Time !

So now, they're calling it a "rescue plan." What everyone, including media and the government itself, referred to as a "Bailout" (sic), has been renamed so that they can more readily slip it into the nation's ass. The issue had been ostensibly agreed to, in principle, until late yesterday when the republicans came up with another idea.

The republican plan calls for the "rescue" to be financed by Wall Street, the greedy bastards who caused this mess, instead of John Q. Taxpayer. I agree with the idea that Wall Street should finance the plan as well. I also think that Washington politicians, in general, should help finance the plan out of their own lobbyist lined pockets, since it was their piss-poor management and oversight that allowed Wall Street and the banking industry to lead us to the current status.

It's finally Friday and I'll be heading over to AREA 51 for some recreation and to see my pals. I'm not really sure where I'm going, but my first stop will probably at Lakes Cafe. I'd like to find out the status of the pending sale to calculate if my main AREA 51 home base will remain there or if it's time to begin searching for a new watering hole. We'll see.

Former New York Yankee Joe Torre, who was summarily and rudely released by the New York Yankees, has led the Los Angeles Dodgers into the playoffs, while the Yankees are in the porcelain receptacle. How do 'ya like me now, Steinbrenner?

The Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) Award has had no nominees this week as of today. I'm sure with the current events that you may have one or two nominees in mind. Nominations are open until Monday at noon.

The Pictures: The shots today are celebrities and politicians with computers. Kinda scary, huh? There's also a few of my strange ones to change the pace.

This Date In History: 1580; The British ship the Golden Hind, commanded by Sir Francis Drake, returns from it's around-the world journey bearing a cargo of spices and captured Spanish treasure. 1789; U.S. president George Washington appoints John Jay the nation's first chief justice of the Supreme Court and Thomas Jefferson its first Secretary of State.

1907; New Zealand, formerly a British colony, becomes a dominion within the British Commonwealth of Nations. 1960 In Chicago, Illinois, Democratic senator John F. Kennedy and Republican vice president Richard Nixon, stage the first televised debate between U.S. presidential candidates.

Birthdays: Theodore Gericault, painter (1791), T.S. Eliot, poet and critic (1888), Paul VI, pope (1897), George Gershwin, composer (1898).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A Texas Air Traffic Control Conversation:

Dallas ATC:"Tower to Iran Air 666 - You are clear to land eastbound on runway 9R."

Iran Air: Thank you, Dallas ATC - We are clear to land eastbound on infidel's runway 9R - Allah is great!"

Dallas ATC: "Pakistan Air 7-11 - You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R."

Pakistan Air 7-11: Thank you, Dallas ATC - We are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R - Osama Bin Laden is the prophet!"


Iran Air 666: "Dallas ATC! Dallas ATC! - You have cleared both our aircraft for the same runway going in opposite directions! We are on a collision course! Instructions Please!"

Dallas ATC: "Well bless your hearts. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah 'hey' for us - ya hear?"

Gif - Bomb

That's it for today my little tumble weeds. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

Thursday, September 25, 2008

If You're A Democrat Or A Republican, You May Not Want To Read This !

Bailout....., it's a word being used everywhere and incorrectly, I might add. In economics and finance, a bail out (properly spelled) is a term used, especially in governments, to describe a situation where a bankrupt or nearly bankrupt entity is given a shot of liquidity, in order to meet its short term needs.

In actuality, the term should never have occasion to be used. In capitalism, the strong businesses survive while the weak fail. The government, which should be run like a business, should only spend the monies available to run itself. The problem is, the government is run and operated using deficit spending.

Politicians, through deficit spending, discovered that they could use earmarks and appropriate some of these monies for their own state or districts, while feathering their own nests in the meantime. Industry learned that through lobbyists, they could influence these same politicians with campaign contributions and questionable loans and payments to the politicians.

In the interim, both political parties, attempt to run the government in their own way and for their own gains. The republicans want to keep all the money in the family at the expense of the public. The democrats want to give all the money they can to a multi-generational welfare society and anyone who comes to America, whether legally or illegally.

The bottom line is that the middle class pays for the democratic give-aways while supporting the republicans through their tax dollars. The only way to insure that a we will not have a gridlocked, do-nothing Congress and that laws will be implemented to oversee and control poorly run, large corporations that force the use of the term "bail out" is to have a three party system that represents all of the people.

Imagine a three party system that would give the middle class some say in the running of this great nation. A left-wing party, a right wing party, and then a middle of the road party with two wings that could actually help the government fly.

Imagine that you would not have to vote for the egotistical, self-righteous, narcissistic, wet behind the ears, Barrack Hussein Obama and his motor mouthed vice presidential running mate. You would not have to vote for a war-mongering, close to death, computer illiterate, John McCain and his Shirley Temple, Britney Spears vice presidential running mate. You could just vote for someone normal or at worst, a combination of the above described candidates.


The Pictures: Perhaps you wonder about today's theme. Well, worry no more, my little bi-polar bears, the pics will give you a hint.

This Date In History: 1513; The members of a Spanish expedition under Vasco Nunez de Balboa cross the Panamanian isthmus, becoming the first Europeans to see the Pacific Ocean. 1690; "Publick Occurences, Both Forreign and Domestick,"(sic), the first newspaper in the American colnies, publishes its only issue before being suppressed by the government.

1789; Led by James Madison, the U.S. Congress approves 12 amendments to the Constitution. Ten of these amendments, which will be ratified by the states in 1791, are known as the Bill of Rights. 1965; Satchel Paige becomes the oldest pitcher in major league baseball history when he throws three scoreless innings for the Kansas City Athletics at the age or 59.

Birthdays: Rebecca Elizabeth Dozier-Sullivan (my mom) (1915), Qianlong, Chinese emperor (1711), William Faulkner, novelist (1897), Barbara Walters, television journalist (1931), Glen Gould, Canadian pianist, composer and broadcaster (1932), Scottie Pipen, basketball player (1965).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Frank was excited about his new rifle, and decided to try bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it.

There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, "That was my cousin, and you have got two choices. Either I maul you to death, or we have sex."

After considering briefly, Frank decided to accede to the latter alternative. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge for his humiliation.

He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it.

There was another tap on his shoulder. This time, a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said, "That was a huge mistake, Frank. That was my cousin and you have got two choices. Either I maul you to death, or we have rough sex."

Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate. Although he survived, it did take several months before Frank finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods and he managed to track down the grizzly and shot it.

He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.

The polar bear said, "Admit it Frank, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"

Two guys were walking in the woods one day, and they all of a sudden came across a bear. The bear noticed them, and started growling and generally getting really mean. The bear started to chase one of the guys, who, as it turns out, was from Czechoslovakia. The bear soon caught up with him, and ate him alive. The other guy turned around and ran for his life.

A little while later, the second guy found a park ranger station and told his story. The ranger took his gun, and they both went out in search of the bear, in order to destroy it. Soon, they came across two bears, one male, and one female. The ranger turned to the other guy and said: "Quick... tell me which bear ate your friend!" The ranger leveled his gun and got ready to shoot. "I'm not really sure," said the other guy, "they both look similar."

The ranger said, "Quick! Make up your mind!" said the ranger. The other guy said, "Ok, it was the male." The ranger promptly aimed and shot the female bear. The male ran off. Using his knife, the ranger cut open the belly of the female and found the body of the other man.

"But why didn't you shoot the male when I thought it was the male who ate my friend?" the other man asked. "Well," said the ranger, "I never trust anyone who says that the Czech's in the male."

That's it for today my little bare cubs. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Midnight At The AREA 51 Oasis !

Today is the day of the week affectionately referred to as Hump Day. Although it describes the acme or apex of the week, it also has more non-descript definitions that would be better left to one's imagination. In either case, it breaks up the week quite well for me and allows me to wander into the night to AREA 51 in search of an evening of leisure and in the company of friends. Then again, being an equal opportunity reveler, I would feel equally as comfortable in the arms of a young lady.

Speaking of young ladies, my thanks to Rose, author of Roses Are Read for today's graphic. You can read Rose's journal by clicking the link on my sidebar.

                                      Hump Day

Joe Biden ran off at the mouth today and I really tried to listen to what he had to say, knowing full well that the only reason that he's even on this ticket is for self promotion and the hope of becoming president. Nevertheless, I attempted to listen to what he had to say. I finally gave up after he repeated the words "ladies and gentlemen" for about the fortieth time before making his point.

You would think that as long winded Biden is and as much as he likes to hear himself speak, he'd realize how he sounded. Methinks a Dale Carnegie speaking course should beon his agenda. Between Biden's "ladies and gentleman", Obama's me, my, I, repertoire and McCain's "my friends," I'm about ready to stick a sharp pencil in my ear.

The good thing is that in a few weeks, either Obama's going to give the country away to support the I need, I want, give me, help me crowd or McCain's gonna blow up the country. Either way, I'll know how to dress.

In shocking news yesterday, former American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken, announced that he is gay. You've got to be kidding. That Macho guy is a backdoor guy? I wonder how he kept it a secret? Damn, Bruce, I'd have never guessed it. Then again, her did play catcher for his third grade softball team.

The Pictures: The pictures today are from National Geographic magazine and are taken from the "photo of the day" archives from July, August and September 2008. There's no rhyme or reason to my selections. I just thought they were purty.

This Date In History: 1869; In the financial crisis known as Black Friday, American speculators James Fisk and Jay Gould attempt to corner the U.S. market in gold, causing the stock and commodity exchanges to fluctuate wildly. 1957; Playing their last game at Brooklyn's Ebbets field before moving to Los Angeles, the Brooklyn Dodgers defeat the Pittsburgh Pirates, 2-0.

1969; The trial of the Chicago Eight (later named the Chicago Seven), anti-Vietnam War activists charged with inciting a riot at the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago, Illinois, begins. 1988; American athlete Jackie Joyner-Kersee wins the gold medal in the heptathalon at the Olympic Games in Seoul, Korea, setting a new world record of 7,291 points in the event.

1991; Theodore Seuss Geisel, writer of children's books under the pseudonym Dr. Seuss, dies in la Jolla, California, at the age of 87.

Birthdays: JohnMarshall, Supreme Court justice (1755), F. Scott Fitzgerald, American writer (1896), Jim Henson, puppeteer (1936), Eavan Boland, poet (1944), Joe Green, football player (1946).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Two robins were sitting in a tree. The first robin says, "I'm hungry. Let's fly down and find some lunch. They flew down to the ground and found a nice plot of newly plowed ground that was full of worms. They ate and ate until they could eat no more.

The first robin says, " I'm so full that I don't think I can fly back up into the tree." The second robin replied, "Let's just lay here and bask in the warm sun."

So they plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner than they had fallen asleep, a fat tomcat came and gobbled them up. As the cat sat washing his face, he thought, "I just love Baskin Robbins."

A man and his friend meet at the clubhouse for a game of golf. The man has a little dog with him and on the first green, when the man sinks a twenty foot putt, the little dog starts to yip and stands up on its hind legs.

The friend is quite amazed at this clever trick and says, "That dog is really talented. What doeshe do when you miss a putt?" The man says, "Somersaults."

His friend says, "somersaults? That's incredible. How many does he do?"The man says, "That depends on how hard I kick him in the ass."


That's it for today my little lily pads. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Just The (Bare) Facts, Ma'am !

In 1949, there was a radio show (yes, we "watched" the radio) called Dragnet which went to television in 1951 and ran until 1959. The star of the show was an actor named Jack Webb, who played Detective Sergeant Joe Friday. His partner, Bill Gannon, was played by a few actors, the most memorable being Harry Morgan (who you may remember as Colonel Potter on the hit television series, MASH). The show was set in Los Angeles and was a police drama.

The character made several lines famous including, "My name's Friday-I carry a badge" and "Just the facts, ma'am," the second line being adopted by many men and used many times. I listened to the show on the radio and watched it on television during it's run. It brings back many fond memories.

Jack Webb appeared one evening on the Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson and they did a parody of the Dragnet show that is just too good to pass up. If you know Carson, he always has a problem keeping a straight face and I'm sure you'll enjoy this video.


I enjoy cooking and I'm pretty good at it. I was preparing something last evening and for some unknown reason, I remembered a dish I prepared about five years ago for a young lady that I invited to dinner. It's a simple recipe in principle, but a little tricky to prepare.

The recipe, called "snapper sapphire," is basically sauteed and broiled red snapper. topped with a very ripe, thinly sliced, Cuban plantain, lemon zest, salt, pepper and served with lime wedges. It is accompanied with wild rice and almonds and served with a small salad consisting of romaine lettuce, tomato wedges, croutons, parmesan cheese and a chunky gorgonzola cheese and olive oil dressing.

If things go as planned, I will be serving that Saturday night to a lady friend. The desert (other than the obvious) will be Hagen-Daz vanilla ice creamed topped with Amaretto liqueur. Yahtzee!

The Pictures: Today's trip to Internetland was fruitless so we're going to Eclecticville, where the growing amount of individual pictures are now ripe for display. In layman's terms, we have no theme but plenty of silly and inane pictures which I hope will amuse you.

This Date In History: 1642; Harvard College in Cambridge, Massachusetts, the oldest college in the United States, holds its first commencement exercises. 1780; British agent John Andre is captured while carrying documents that reveal the treason of American general Benedict Arnold, who agreed to hand over the American fort at West Point to the British.

1846; German astronomer Johann Gottfried Galle discovers the eighth planet, Neptune, on the basis of French astronomer Urbain Le Verrier's calculations of its position. 1912; After leaving the Biograph company to start his own film studio, director Mack Sennett releases the first Keystone comedy short starring Mabel Normand, Ford Sterling and Fred Mace.

1939; Sigmund Freud, the Austrian founder of psychoanalysis and one of the most influential thinkers of the 20th century, dies in London at the age of 83, having fled the Nazi takeover of Austria in 1938. 1952; U.S. senator Richard Nixon, a candidate for vice president, answers charges that he used an improper expense fund in the nationally televised "Checkers" speech in which he mentions his dog, Checkers.

Birthdays: Augustus, Roman emperor (63 BC), Louise Nevelson, sculptor (1900), John Coltrane, American saxophone player and composer (1927), Ray Charles, pianist and singer (1930), Bruce Sprinstein, singer and songwriter (1949).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Two cavalry soldiers come upon an Indian scout lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the soldiers says to the other, "See that Indian? He's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction.

Just then, the Indian lifts his head and says, "Covered wagon about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one black. Man, woman and child in wagon."

The calvary soldier says to his friend, "See that? The Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses they have, the color of each horse and the number of people in the covered wagon. Amazing!"

The second soldier says to the Indian, "How do you know all that information?" The Indian scout says, "Them run over me half hour ago."


That's it for today my little coffee mugs. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Monday, September 22, 2008

Walk Right In, Sit Right Down, Daddy Let Your Mind Roll On...And On... And On!

I'm tired! The five day birthday celebration of my pal, Emilio, ended with a Sunday bar-b-cue at his house with his daughter and her boyfriend, and a few others. To be honest, I was tired before I left for Emilio's house but the thought of missing out on lechon asado (roasted pork) and black beans and rice was too hard to resist.

I arrived at Emilio's house around 12:30 pm and as I entered, the aroma of the roast pork and garlic permeated the air. The plans were to watched the Miami-New England football game and then eat. The thought of watching the lowly Miami Dolphins, who had lost 21 of their last 22 games, get their asses kicked really didn't interest me, but the food wouldn't be ready until after the game.

Surprisingly, the Dolphins thoroughly dominated the Patriots and, needless to say, we were ecstatic. It had been a long time since Miami played well and we reveled in the victory. We then served the roasted pork, black beans and rice and cold Becks beer to top off a fine Sunday afternoon and a great finishing touch to the end of Emilio's marathon birthday.

                                                                Gif - Mon 04

The number of sick babies in China has now surpassed 57,000 while the communist leaders in high positions are enjoying food that is organically grown and inspected. Ostensibly, the reasoning for this is to deter the possibility of protecting high ranking officials from being poisoned. With the powdered milk manufacturers worrying more about their income than the health of children, methinks poisoning a few high ranking officials would be an excellent wake-up call.

Club Pogo: Although only a few of you have responded to my plan to have a weekly (or bi-monthly) one-hour game (bingo, poker,or anything everyone is happy with), I still like the idea and want to try it. If you play Pogo or would like to try it (it's a variety of games that can be played by groups), please let me know. I have free passes for those of you who would like to see what it's like.

The Pictures: Do you remember seeing those old posters that were everywhere years ago? Well, although the graphics remain the same, the messages have changed...a little bit. As per my usual, I've selected a few other ditties for your dining and dancing pleasure, especially one subject that just keeps coming back.

This Date In History: 1586; English poet and courtier Sir Philip Sidney, author of the sonnet sequence Astrophel and Stella, is fatally wounded in a raid against Spanish forces in Zutphen, the Netherlands. 1862; U.S. president Abraham Lincoln issues a preliminary Emancipation Proclamation warning that on January 1, 1863, he will declare all slaves in rebel states to be free.

1927; In the famous "long count" fight, boxer Jack Dempsey's delay in returning to his corner after knocking down Gene Tunney allows Tunney to recover and knock Dempsey out, retaining his heavyweight title. 1961; The U.S. Congress formally authorizes the Peace Corps, which were created in March by an executive order of U.S. president John F. Kennedy.

1969; San Francisco Giants outfielder Willie Mays hits his 600th career home run, becoming the first National League player to do so. 1989; American songwriter Irving Berlin, born in Russia in 1888, dies at the age of 101, having written 1,500 songs.

Birthdays: Lord Chesterfield, writer and statesman (1694),Michael Faraday, British physicist and and chemist (1791), David Riesman, sociologist (1909), Tommy Lasorda, baseball manager (1927).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A nurse walks into a bank, exhausted after a 20 hour shift. Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. She looks at the flabbergasted teller and without missing a beat, she says, "Well that's just great...really great! Some asshole has my pen."

An old country preacher had a teenage son and it was getting time that the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Since the boy really didn't know what he wanted to do, the father decided to try an experiment.

He went in to the boy's room and placed four objects on his son's study desk...a bible, a fifty dollar bill, a bottle of whisky and a Playboy magazine.

The preacher thought that if the boy picked up the bible, he'd be a preacher like him. If he picked up the fifty dollars, he'd be a business man and that would be okay. But if he picked up the whisky, he's probably become a no-good drunk and worse, if he picked up the Playboy, he's be a skirt-chasing womanizer.

The preacher heard his son enter the house and hid in the closet. When the boy entered the room, he noticed the four objects on his study desk. He then picked up the bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the fifty dollars and put it in his pocket. He then picked up the whisky, took a big swig of it and began browsing the Playboy magazine.The preacher thought to himself, "Lord have mercy, he's going to run for Congress."


That's it for today my little would chucks. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Friday, September 19, 2008

So I Said To My One Legged Pirate Girlfriend, "Hey Peg, Come Here"

Ok, it's supposed to be "Talk Like A Pirate Day" and I'll drink to that. I'm not sure who invented it but I figure that the worst that can happen is that I'll just modify my "drink like a sailor" act and it will be an excellent reason for celebrating in AREA 51. Then again, I drink to Potato Week so it won't  be much of a stretch for me.

Today is my pal Emilio's birthday and he likes to celebrate it starting two days before and ending two days after, so chances are it will be a late night. We started Wednesday night and I'm relatively sure it'll continue until Sunday evening. In the interim, I'm warming up with plenty of water and vitamins so that I have enough get up and go to be able to get up and go (what?).

                                                   Fri 02

Congratulations to my pal and fellow AREA 51 member, Linda for being selected as guest editor for AOL Journal's Magic Smoke. You can read her journal, Linda's World by clicking the link on my sidebar or click the following link. http://journals.aol.com/lsfp1960/LindasWorld/

Club Pogo: I am a member and I know that some of you are, as well. I am considering having a designated day (or night) for one hour each week where we can have private games just for us. I haven't given this any deep thought, but off the top of my head, it can be anytype of group participation games (i.e. bingo, poker, bowling, etc). The games could change each week or be the same, depending on the wishes of the participants.

If you are not a Club Pogo member, please let me know and I can send you a free pass so that you can see how it works. Let me know what you think in your comments. For those shy ones who don't (or can't) comment, you know my email.

The Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) Award has had no nominees as yet, this week. Nominations are open until 12:00 noon on Monday, so keep looking under those rocks, there's always one out there.

Questions and thoughts: If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? If someone suffering from multi-personality disorder threatens to kill himself, is that considered a hostage situation? Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all? One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor! Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow deer crossing signs? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. Is there another word for synonym? Atheism is a non-prophet organization. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? The good thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.

The Pictures: Seeing that today is "talk like a pirate day," guess what? There's also some cryptic and blatant hellos mixed in there as well. Oh, and drinks for the ladies.

This Date In History: 1846; English poets Elizabeth Barrett and Richard Browning elope to Italy after marrying, against her father's wishes, in England. 1914; The Reims Cathedral in France, built in the 13th century, is severely damaged by German shells during a World War I bombardment.

1928; Walt Disney's Mickey Mouse makes his first appearance in the animated short Plane Crazy. Later that year, he will star in Steamboat Willie, the first animated film with synchronized sound. 1934; Carpenter Bruno Hauptman is arrested for the kidnapping and murder two years before of Charles A. Lindbergh, Jr., the baby son of aviation hero Charles Lindbergh.

Birthdays: My pal, Emilio. Happy Birthday my friend (19XX), William Colding, novelist (1911), Emil Zatopek, distance runner (1922), Al Oerter, American track-and-field athlete who was the first person to win the gold medal in the discus event in four consecutive Olympic games (1936), Joe Morgan, baseball player (1943). Jeremy Irons, actor (1948)

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A sailor meets a pirate in a bar and the two begin swapping sea tales. The sailor notices that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook and an eye patch. The sailor says, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."

The sailor says, "Wow! What about your hook?" The pirate says, "My men and I were plundering in the middle east. I was caught stealing from a merchant and the punishment for theft is the loss of the hand that steals..., they cut it off."

The sailor exclaimed, "That's incredible! How did you get the eye patch?" The pirate said, "I looked up at the mast of my ship and a seagull shit in my eye."

The sailor said, "You lost your eye from seagull shit?" The pirate said, "No, it was my first day with the hook."


That's it for today my little swash bucklers. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !