Stay Tuned !
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Stay Tuned !
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
The Nascar Talladega race last Sunday was marred by the dangerous crash of Ryan Newman in the waning moments of the race. Nascar has the Sprint Cup drivers so handcuffed with rules aimed at keeping speeds lower that it forces the drivers to run three abreast, bumper to bumper at speeds of over 190 miles per hour in the closing laps of every race.
Whether or not Nascar intends for wrecks like this one to happen is immaterial. Not surprising, however, is the fact that if the cars are not bunched up with twenty laps to go, inevitably Nascar discovers "debris" on the track and throws the caution flag.
Nascar needs to take the carburetor restrictions off the engines, put in smaller motors and make these cars a little harder to drive. This will separate the real racers from the rest of the pack and, more importantly, better insure driver safety.
That's if for now my little speed bumps. More soon!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he worked. The priest asked, "What did you take?" The man answered, "Enough to build my own house and enough for my son's house. And houses for our two daughters and our cottage at the lake.
The priest said, "This is very serious!" I shall have to think of a far-reaching penance. Have you ever done a retreat?" The man replied, "No, Father, I haven't, but if you can get the plans, I can get the lumber."
A young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a grave-side committal service at a small local cemetery for someone with no family or friends. The preacher started early but quickly got himself lost, making several wrong turns. He arrived a half-hour late, the hearse was nowhere in sight, and the workmen were eating lunch.
Have a great weekend and enjoy Halloween. More soon.
Stay Tuned !
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -- but no Ark. "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision."
"Then, the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it."
"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentaliststhat I needed the wood to save the owls -- but no go!"
"When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space. I am required to apply for 834 different licenses to keep wild beasts on private property."
"Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on Your proposed flood. Further, the pitch to water-poof the ark has been banned by the EPA as inimical to the environment."
"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew."
"Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work. The scaffolding to build the superstructure is not OSHA-approved and is forbidden to use except for private structures less than 5 cubits."
"The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience."
"To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species."
"So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 100 years for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean You're not going to destroy the world?"
"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."
A man and wife attended church one evening, and the wife decided that it was time to stop her husband from sleeping in Church. So, she took her hat pin and decided she would poke him every time he fell asleep. Right about the first time he falls asleep, the preacher asks, "And who created the Universe?" The wife poked her husband and he awakes and yells, "My God!"
The second time he falls asleep, the preacher asks, "And who died on the cross for you?" She pokes her husband and he screams, "Jesus Christ!"
The third time, the Preacher asks, " And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" The wife pokes her husband and he jumps up and yells, "By God, if you poke me with that thing one more time, I am going to break it off!"
That's it for now my little carpenters. More soon.
Stay Tuned !
Friday, July 17, 2009
The recent appearance of Paul McCartney on the David Letterman Show and the subsequent outdoor performance by McCartney brought back old memories and especially The Beatles live performances on the Ed Sullivan Show.
Authors Note: The videos originally posted in this entry have been removed from YouTube because of copyright infringement. They have been replaced by other Beatles performances of that era. Remember to turn off the playlist audio on my sidebar.
This is another video taken from The Beatles appearance in Shea Stadium. It was an unbelievable new musical direction of the times with a totally new sound. As a musician and singer, the distinct sound of British rock was very intriguing and The Beatles and other groups including the Rolling Stones certainly changed musical America.An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this, Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a rather heavy, not too attractive, older lady walked up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady walked between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a beautiful, young woman stepped out. The father, said quietly to his son, "Go get your Mother".
That's it for now my little orange blossoms. More soon!
Stay Tuned !
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Tony Stewart led the majority of the laps and had the dominant car, leading a race-high 86 laps and using a flawless pit-road performance to set himself up for his second win as owner of his race team. In what's becoming a Nascar norm, the caution flag came out with less than 10 laps to go creating an almost guaranteed scenario for a last lap multi-car crash.
The video's shown in today's post are an after the fact analysis by the commentators, including former race driver Kyle Petty. The first video gives the best generalization of the final laps and the second video has a more close up view with several fantastic shots of the final crash. Remember to turn off the sound from my music playlist before viewing the videos. On the restart, Tony Stewart took the lead with Kyle Busch on his outside. Stewart was followed by Denny Hamlin while Bush was followed by Jimmy Johnson.Busch, in an excellent outside move, took the lead just before the last lap. Stewart chased him down and closed in on Busch’s bumper, and slight contact sent Busch drifting up the track.
Busch drove back down to maintain his lead, then tried to slide in front of Stewart to block Stewart’s next move. The cars were too close together and Stewart hooked Busch’s right corner to send Busch sailing into the wall.
Kyle Busch is probably one of the most talented drivers I've ever seen. His main problems are his lack of patience and his temper. Busch's first block on Stewart was considered "an allowable block" by most race car drivers, but his second block, under existing Nascar rules, left Stewart no choice but to hold his position and sent Busch into the outside retaining wall.
Under current Nascar rules, a driver cannot pass another driver by going below the double yellow stripe on the inside lane of the track. This rule was tested at a 2008 race at Talladega International Speedway when rookie Regan Smith passed leader Tony Stewart on the last lap. Stewart had moved down to block Smith and Smith, rather that turn Stewart and crash him, went below the yellow line to effect the pass.
Nascar, contrary to it's own rules which allow the driver to go below the yellow line if forced there, ruled the pass illegal and Regan was placed in 18th position. This ruling sent a message to the drivers that, in any future race, should the leading car attempt to block, a driver should hold his ground and let the chips fall where they may.
Combine this with the new rule that all restarts, including restarts with less than ten laps to go, will be started double file and you can predict what will happen next. The aforementioned is the perfect recipe for the type of last lap multi-car crash that was seen on Saturday night.
Although exciting, my thinking is that there will be new rules effected soon to alleviate the possibility of the dangerously famous last lap crashes.
That's it for now my little bumper cars. More soon.
Stay Tuned !
Monday, June 1, 2009
I wonder if there will ever be a time when polticians ever really represent the average American no matter what the political cost.
Stay Tuned !
Sunday, May 10, 2009
She then puts some wet clothes in the dryer, puts a load of clothes into the washer, irons a shirt and secures a loose button. She puts the phone back on the charger, waters the plants, empties a wastebasket and hangs up a towel to dry.
Then she stops by the desk, writes a note to the teacher, counts out some cash for the field trip, and pulls a text book out from hiding under the chair. She signs a birthday card for a friend, addresses and stamps the envelope and writes a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse.
Mom then washes her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her night solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushes and flosses her teeth and files her nails.
Dad always says, 'I thought you were going to bed. ''I'm on my way,' she says. She puts some water into the dog's dish, then makes sure the doors are locked and the patio light is on. She looks in on each of the kids and turns out their bedside lamps and TV's , hangs up a shirt, throws some dirty socks into the hamper, and has a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.
In her own room, she sets the alarm, lays out clothing for the next day and straightens up the shoe rack. She adds three things to her 6 most important things to do list. She says her prayers, and visualizes the accomplishment of her goals.
Dad? He went to bed too!
It's a job that I'm glad I don't have to do and a good reason for having a special day set aside each year to honor all the Moms. Realistically, every day should be Mother's Day!
Happy Mothers Day to all the ladies!
Friday, March 27, 2009
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.
2. Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
6. Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival. Experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention to well formed mounds and bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage a players equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear, just in case.
10. Players should not assume that the course is in shape to play at all times. Players may be embarrassed if they find the course temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case.
11. Players should assume their match has been properly scheduled particularly when playing a new course for the 1st time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else is playing what they considered a private course.
12. The owner of the course is responsible for the pruning of any bushes, which may reduce the visibility of the hole.
13. Players are strongly advised to get the owners permission before attempting to play the backside.
14. Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace at the owners request.
15. It is considered an outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.
There was a papa mole, a mamma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Mamma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."
During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table. "Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you." The physician, "All right, I'll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you're through." In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness, "Doctor, I've undressed. What shall I do with my clothes?" The physicain said, "Put them on the chair, on top of mine."
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much for a season pass?"
That's it for now my little sweet peas. More soon.
Stay Tuned !
Sunday, March 1, 2009
I went through elementary and junior high schooling during the 50's and the lessons learned in and out of the classroom were instrumental in the formation of my character. School was a fun but stern place and the teachers took no prisoners. If you got into trouble, the teacher paddled you. You took your punishment and held your tongue lest the teacher give you a note to take to your parents. If you did get a note, it meant a worse fate was in store when you presented the note to your parents. I always gave my note to my mother with the hope that she would deal with it and not pass it on to my father.
School was also a social place and I enjoyed that part immensely. Music was at the top of everyone's conversation and the birth of rock and roll made it even more fun. There were only a few radio stations and they were AM at that. The radio stations played all the songs. There were no specialty stations....no rock and roll station, no country music station, no big band station. There was the stations and they played everything.
Our radio was an RCA Victor and it was about a foot wide and a foot tall. It had two knobs, the tuner and the volume. The top of the radio would open up exposing a turn table with a single metal rod. The record speeds were 33 and 1/3 or 78 and the records were all the size of a modern day LP album. The only difference was that the record had one song on each side. You had to be very careful because it you dropped the record, it would shatter and break.
My brother Kirt and I started singing together and in the sixth grade, my teacher, Mr. Hall, taught me to play the guitar. I, in turn taught my brother to play, as well, and the Sullivan Brothers began performing for anyone who would listen. We sang all of the Everly Brothers songs as well as all the rock and roll songs of the day.My Brother and I actually started singing country music and I can remember distinctly when the sad news came over the radio, reporting that Hank Williams had passed away in the back seat of his car. Williams was one of my favorite singers and his untimely death really upset my brother and I.
The 50's was a wonderful time for me and I thought I'd reminisce those times with you. I added a special playlist for this entry and I hope it brings you fond memories. It did for me.
Stay Tuned !
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Stay Tuned !
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
To The Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown:
I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.
Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 . 45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?
I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to crawl under the rock you came from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since I also ended up taking your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation.
I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.
So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder?
I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry.
I don't know if this open letter is factual or born from the frustration of someone who was just tired of killers, thieves and muggers who are the 6 o'clock lead story of the Everytown, USA local news. It's a beautiful thought, either way.
Stay Tuned !
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Restrooms were usually clean and all necessary items such as hand towels and toilet paper were always on hand. Upon returning to your car and paying for your gasoline and any incidental items, you were rewarded for your patronage in the way of stamps which could be redeemed for merchandise. Additionally, there were give-aways of glasses and plates as a sign of thanks for visiting the establishment.
Gas prices were low in comparison to today and taking inflation into effect, the gas cost ratio to average incomes was much better. Better yet, you could buy a Coca Cola for around ten cents (including deposit).
Today's pictures are just some of the gas stations around the United States in days of yore and I found them interesting and nostalgic. I hope you enjoy them.
Stay Tuned !
Friday, January 2, 2009
Stay Tuned !