Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
You can now add the likes of Governor Rod Blagojevich to that constant stream of low life politicians that come from Chicago. Three of the last seven Illinois governors have gone to prison and it looks like "Blago" will soon be joining that group.
The amazing thing is that the national media has turned its head for the last two years because of the coming of "the anointed one" and it takes a scandal like this to force them to take another look at the politicians that come out of Chicago, Illinois.
Methinks there's still more to be learned about who's running Chicago (and possibly the nation), despite the obviously overlooked scandals of the likes of Tony Rezko, Jeremiah Wright and Rod Blagojevich.
Stay Tuned !
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
On November 22, 1963, John Fitzgerald Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas Texas. I had just graduated from high school where I got my first dose of reality during the Cuban Missile Crisis. One week after graduation, my friend and I took a 1954 Ford which he purchased for $50 and went to Birmingham, Alabama to follow the NASCAR Modified Series.
Three months later, I returned to Miami and got my first job at a warehouse about a mile from my home. It was at that job on November, 22, 1963 that the public address system came on and it was announced that the president had been shot and had been rushed to the hospital in Dallas, Texas.
As people scrambled to tune their portable radios to the news, I couldn't help but believe that someone would soon announce that the president had undergone surgery and would be fine. But, it was not to be.....
Soon thereafter, it was announced that the president was pronounced dead at 2:00 p.m Central Standard Time. We were told to go home and that we would be paid for the entire day.
As I slowly walked home, I remembered how John Wayne always seem to survive all of those war movies. That was my second dose of the realities of life and little did I know that there was a place called Vietnam that would soon complicate my life and millions of other lives as well.
I cried as I watched the funeral of John F. Kennedy.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Specialist 5th Class
United States Army Reserve
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
For the more timid, place boxes of Church's fried chicken around the area indiscriminately to distract them. Then, slip in and vote.
Stay Tuned !
Monday, November 3, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
My name is Lying Politician and I'm a candidate for (mayor, city council, congress, dog catcher...whatever). My opponent, Thieving Politician, is a wife beater, communist, socialist, drunkard, and car thief.
If elected, I will cut your taxes, buy you a car, send your children to college and mow your lawn. Please vote for me on November 4th.
Is this the new politics of America? Insult your opponent, promise the voters anything (whether possible or not) and be as vague as possible about your platform?
Politicians are becoming lower than whale shit and that's quite a feat indeed, seeing that whale shit is at the deepest depths of the oceans.
Stay Tuned !
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
To all my friends and readers:
I have decided that today will be my last post on AOL Journals. I have been posting here since December 5, 2006 and my journal has been read nearly 16,000 times since that date. My experiences and the friends that I have met are very dear to me and it is a painful experience for me to leave.
Unfortunately, AOL has left all the journalists with this problem and I'm quite pleased to to see many of my fellow journalists establishing new homesteads on Blogspot.com. I will continue to receive my alerts from all of my readers and will answer each and every one of them as they come in.
I find it way too taxing to continue to maintain this journal and maintain my new journal as well. It only seems fitting that I attend to the new child and nurse it through it's infancy.
So, with a very heavy heart, I bid AOL Journals a fond farewell and I look forward to hearing from you at my new site. Here are the links to Jimmy's Journal and Possum's Journal as well.
Jimmy's Journal: http://jimsulliv3.blogspot.com/
Possum's Journal: http://pshemmingway.blogspot.com/
It has been my pleasure writing and posting my thoughts, whims and occasional rants for you!
Stay Tuned !
Tags: JimSulliv3, Jimmy's Journal, pshemmingway, Jimmys AREA 51, My Perfect Martini, Jimmy's Journal Final Post On AOL, http://jimsulliv3.blogspot.com/, Jimmys-MySpace, http://pshemmingway.blogspot.com/, http://journals.aol.com/jimsulliv3/jimmys-journal/, AREA 51, The CAT Award, The TAC Award, The Cat's Ass Trophy, Adios
Thursday, October 2, 2008
My trip to AREA 51 last evening was very relaxing, although unproductive. The transition of ownership is going through its initial stages and I don't expect any thing new until the renovations and the name change take place. In the interim, it freed up my fried mind and I was able to relax and not continually reach for my computer keyboard and backspace.
It's day three of my transition to Blogspot and I'm becoming more familiar with its idiosyncrasies. I will pass on anything I learn to all of you and will try to keep you abreast (or a leg) of anything new.
I am still going through withdrawal so if my posts seem short, it's because I am trying to mentally digest all the new changes. Life as we know it will resume shortly.
The Picture: I think that at least once in every lifetimea one must experience something out of the ordinary. Such is the case of an establishment appropriately called The Heart Attack Grill. Take a gander at the "hamburger" they serve there. The lovely "hostesses" notwithstanding, think I'd take ones hot at it (the hamburger folks, the hamburger).
This Date In History 1836 British naturalist Charles Darwin returns to Falmouth, England, aboard the HMS Beagle. 1955 Alfred Hitchcock Presents, a suspense series introduced by the British film director, appears on American television. 1967 Thurgood Marshall is sworn in as the first black justice of theU. S. Supreme Court
1985; The AIDS crisis gains widespread public attention following the death of American actor Rock Hudson, the first celebrity to publicly announce that he had AIDS. 1990; The German Democratic Republic (East Germany) ceases to exist at midnight, and on October 3, East and West Germany are formally reunited.
Birthdays: Mohandas Gandhi, Indian nationalist leader (1869), Groucho Marx, American comedian (1895), Graham Greene, English novelist (1895), Sting (Gordon Sumner) British singer, songwriter and actor (1951).
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: During the change from AOL Journals to Blogspot, many journalists are experiencing computer problems. As a public service, Jimmy's Journal offers the following advice:
1) When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
2) When you get to the point of completely understanding how to produce your journal, the site you use will shut down and you have to start all over.
3) The first place to look for information may actually be the instructions.
4) When the going gets tough, upgrade.
5) For every action there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
6) To err is human...to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.
7) He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
8) If at first you don't succeed, blame your computer.
9) A complex system that does not work well is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
10) A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.
That's it for today my little transplants. More tomorrow.
Stay Tuned !
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
I'm already frustrated enough today to start drinking early except that there's no Johnny Walker Black in my house. The son-of-a-bitch probably migrated over to Blogspot.com as well. Yeah, I established a journal over there too and it's called Jimmy's Journal. Hell of an idea, huh? On top of that, I was taking a shower last night and when I came out of the bathroom, Shithead was on my computer setting up his own journal too.
Ok! Now, I'm doing my journal on AOL and Blogspot and giving time for Shithead to make his entry on his new journal. Add to that the fact that Blogspot routine is totally new to me and each day is a learning process and you have a man that is ready to go to AREA 51 tonight and sip a few cocktails with my pals.
Speaking of AREA 51, those of you who are members and need the icons associated with it, please let me know. There is a way to put the icons on your sidebar and I will be putting that info in this journal tomorrow or Friday and also in the new journal on Blogspot. In the interim, her are the links to Jimmy's Journal on Blogspot and Shithead's Journal, as well.
The economy is still in a snit and a lot of people are not in favor of passing the "bailout" bill. To a degree, I concur, but there needs to be something put in place soon to get the economy rolling again. In a healthy economy, money continually changes hands and when that slows, so does the economy. The one thing that is certain is that the democrats want the rich people to fund the problem and the rich people won't pay. I guess the shrinking middle class will eventually be the payers.
The Pictures: A little mooselet (I know! I just like the name) was rescued from a freezing lake and once rescued and freed by the good Samaritan, it promptly returned to the ice and almost drowned again. Unable to find the mother, the Samaritan took it home. He kept it for a few days and then turned it over to people who had more room and were also raising an abandoned fawn. Take a look.
This Date In History: 1880; Spain sells the North American Territory of Louisiana to France by the treaty of San Francisco. 1903; The American League's Boston Pilgrims play the National League's Pittsburgh Pirates in the first World Series game.
1908; Ford's Model T goes on sale in America; the "Tin Lizzy" costs $850. 1938; German troops enter Czechoslovakia, precipitating World War II. 1961; American baseball player Roger Maris breaks the record for the most home runs in one season.
Birthdays: Henry III, king of England (1207), Paul Dukas, French composer (1865), Vladimir Horowitz, Russian-American pianist (1904), Walter Matthau, actor (1920), Jimmy Carter, 39th president of the United States (1924), Julie Andrews, English-born American and singer(1935).
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: You think you have computer problems? It could be worse!
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one.
Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left?
Helpdesk: What is on your monitor now? Customer: A teddy bear. My boyfriend bought if for me at Walmart.
Helpdesk: Good day, May I help you? Male customer: I can't print. Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and... Male customer: Listen pal, don't get technical on me. I'm not Bill Gates.
Hi, this is Martha. I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'can't find printer.' I've even lifted it up and put it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it.
As I prepare for takeoff to my new Journal home at Blogspot, here's my parting salute to AOL for discontinuing Journals.
That's it for today my little migrating geese. More tomorrow.
Stay Tuned !
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
First and foremost, an emergency Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) Award is hereby awarded to AOL for letting AOL journalists know in October know that J-land is shutting down in November. The reason being given is that AOL is not making enough money.
Here's a suggestion. Fire all of the non-English speaking, Indian hacks that are posing as AOL technicians and hire Americans. Then, re-invest time and money into AOL Journals.
In the interim, I suggest that everyone start making an email list of all their favorite journalists as a means of contacting them when a new site for J-Land can be found. It seems to me that if a good blog site is contacted by J-Land representatives (to be determined) with the proposition that a good number of journalists will subscribe, the outcome will be better for all.
I have begun making inquiries today and will do so for the rest of the time available until J-Land shuts down. If anyone has any thoughts or ideas on this subject please contact me.
It's day two of let's find a way to further screw up the economy, headed chiefly by those zany, thieving politicians whose antics keep us on our toes. You have to understand that most politicians are not too bright by definition, for if they were, they'd be the ones escaping on golden parachutes.
Nay, my little buttercups, politicians trek through life unaware of the definition of economics and morality, staying steadfast to their plans to collect as much monies as they can get away with. The few who are already wealthy and/or educated, are only serving in politics to fluff their egos and further their legacies.
You see, smart people don't become politicians. They make as much as 100 times more than politicians and have no time for, or interest in, the politics of America. They do, however, use these little pinheads to further their own interest by contributing directly or indirectly to the politician's pockets. So, be patient, my little gun-toters, their doing the best that they can considering what they have to work with. I'm Jimmy and I approved this statement.
The Pictures: All the cat lovers, who, while enjoying yesterday's dog pictures, asked for equal time. So, today's pic's are from the world of cats. Cat's are a delicate bunch and not big on performing stupid people tricks. Rather, they are aware that cats were worshiped as gods many years age and they have never forgotten that.
It is unwise to meddle with cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer. They suffer from many different ailments but I have never met one who suffered from insomnia. They are also much smarter than dogs. If you do not believe this, try to get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow. One of my girlfriends once told me. "It's either me or the cat." I miss her, sometimes.
This Date In History: 1791; Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart conducts the premiere of his singspeil "The Magic Flute," just over two months before his death. 1927; Outfielder Babe Ruth of the New York Yankees hits his 60th home run of the season, breaking his own record and setting a mark that would last until 1961.
1946; Following World War II, the International Military Tribunal in Nuremberg, Germany sentences 11 leaders of Nazi Germany, including Field Marshall Hermann Goring, to death for crimes during the war. 1949; The Berlin airlift, caused by the Soviet blockade of overland traffic to West Berlin, ends after more than 277,000 flights from Western nations, which supplied the city with food and fuel for nearly 11 months.
1955; Actor James Dean dies at the age of 24 in an automobile accident in California, having starred in only three motion pictures. 1972; Pittsburgh Pirates outfielder Roberto Clemente collects the 3,000th and final hit of his career, three months before dying in a plane crash while on an earthquake relief mission.
Birthdays: My pal and fellow AREA 51 member, Anne. Have a happy birthday, Baby! (19XX), Park Chung Hee, South Korean president and brother of Park Place (1917), Truman Capote, writer (1924), Robin Roberts, baseball pitcher and brother of Robin Redbreast (1926), Elie Wiesel, novelist (1928), Martha Hingis, tennis player (1980).
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Thanks to my pal, Garnett for the following quips.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
Mahatma Gandhi, a famed maker of excellent rice, walked barefoot most of the time. This produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
That's it for today my little mongeese. More tomorrow.
Stay Tuned !
Monday, September 29, 2008
Friday's trek to AREA 51 was very enlightening as my first stop was at Lakes Cafe and when I arrived, the first thing that I noticed was that all of the video machines had been removed from the premises, thus alerting me to that fact that the pending sale had been closed.
Sure enough, not five minutes later, I was introduced to the new owners and more importantly, the plans for changes and renovation are very positive. Having stopped at my pal, Emilio's house for some pre-flight fueling prior to going to lakes Cafe, I was already loose and ready for an interesting evening.
I ended up singing "After The Loving" (Engelbert Humperdink) in the karaoke show and after a few hours getting to know the new owners, Emilio and I headed over to The Billiards Club for a nightcap. As it turned out, there were quite a few of our friends there and we ended up staying there a little longer than expected.
The end result was that I remember that Emilio and I were talking with a young lady named Marta and then I went home. The next day, while browsing my cell phone, I noticed that Marta's cell phone number was in my phonebook and I swear, I have no idea how it got there. Oh, and I have no idea if I arrived home before or after the paperboy as I never saw the newspaper.
Paul Newman, who starred in more than fifty major movies in his acting career, died Friday at his home in Westport, Connecticut, at the age of 83. Newman, who was nominated for Oscars ten times, was a three Academy Award winner. He also won an Emmy award and a Golden Globe award. Besides acting, Newman was also a successful race car driver finishing fifth at Daytona in 1977 and second at Le Mans in 1979.
In 1984, Newman teamed with Carl Hass and formed Newman-Hass racing and joined the Cart open wheel series (now the Indy Racing League). The team has won 107 races and 8 championships.
Newman's Own, a brand he created in 1982 with writer and neighbor A.E. Hotchkin, began as a joke and started out with the marketing of his personal oil and vinegar salad dressing. The company has since become a household name with many products and all profits going to charities. In 2007, the company had donated more than 175 million dollars.
One of the few true gentlemen, Paul Newman's legacy will live on through his movies and the Newman's Own charities. May he rest in peace.
The Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) Award had one nomination this week. Jude, author of My Way nominated the CEO of Washington Mutual for his stellar helmsmanship in guiding the institution to failure. I concur wholeheartedly and my hopes are that his golden parachute fails to open. The CAT Award goes to the CEO of Washington Mutual.
Today's Thought: The one track, party minded lawmakers and politicians failed today in their feeble attempt to past the 700 billion dollar bail out, thus reassuring me that they are incompetent, ignorant and greedy assholes....and that's their good points!
The Pictures: Dogs are often in the news and for the most part, it's usually good news. Dogs sometime attack thieves, prowlers, street monkeys and the like, but that's because they're trained to do so.
Occasionally, however, you hear about dog attacks or people who have been bitten my dogs. Did you ever wonder why these normally affectionate animals go postal? The answer is in the pictures.
This Date In History: 1829; Legislation introduced by Sir Robert Peel reorganizes the London police force. Thereafter, London police will be known as "Bobbies," named after Peel. 1862; Otto von Bismarck, the newly appointed premier of Russia who will its wars of unification in the next decade, declares that "the great questions of the day" will be settled "by blood and iron."
1938; In the Munich Pact, France and Britain agree to Adolf Hitler's demand that the Sudetenland, a German-speaking region in Czechoslovakia, be ceded to Germany, in exchange for Hitler's assurance of peace. 1988; The United States space shuttle Discovery is launched, the first launch sincethe explosion of the space shuttle Challenger over two year before.
Birthdays: Miguel de Cervantes, novelist (1547), Horatio Nelson, naval commander (1758), Elizabeth Gaskell, novelist (1810), Enrico Fermi, physicist (1901), Lech Walesa Nobel laureate and president 0f Poland (1990-1995) (1943).
The Hits Just Keep On Coming:
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up and said, "I do...why?" The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, " I just thoughtyou would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside."
The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough, Silver was about dead from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got him some water and after a few minutes, Silver began to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, please run circles around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him feel better." Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe," and took off running circles around Silver.
There was little the Lone Ranger could except wait so he returned to the bar to finish his beer. A few minutes later, another cowboy came into the bar and said, "Who owns that big white horse outside?"
The Lone Ranger stands and says, "I do. What's wrong with him now?" The cowboy says, "Nothing, the horse is fine, but you left your Injun running."
That's it for today my little animal crackers. More tomorrow.
Stay Tuned !
Friday, September 26, 2008
So now, they're calling it a "rescue plan." What everyone, including media and the government itself, referred to as a "Bailout" (sic), has been renamed so that they can more readily slip it into the nation's ass. The issue had been ostensibly agreed to, in principle, until late yesterday when the republicans came up with another idea.
The republican plan calls for the "rescue" to be financed by Wall Street, the greedy bastards who caused this mess, instead of John Q. Taxpayer. I agree with the idea that Wall Street should finance the plan as well. I also think that Washington politicians, in general, should help finance the plan out of their own lobbyist lined pockets, since it was their piss-poor management and oversight that allowed Wall Street and the banking industry to lead us to the current status.
It's finally Friday and I'll be heading over to AREA 51 for some recreation and to see my pals. I'm not really sure where I'm going, but my first stop will probably at Lakes Cafe. I'd like to find out the status of the pending sale to calculate if my main AREA 51 home base will remain there or if it's time to begin searching for a new watering hole. We'll see.
Former New York Yankee Joe Torre, who was summarily and rudely released by the New York Yankees, has led the Los Angeles Dodgers into the playoffs, while the Yankees are in the porcelain receptacle. How do 'ya like me now, Steinbrenner?
The Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) Award has had no nominees this week as of today. I'm sure with the current events that you may have one or two nominees in mind. Nominations are open until Monday at noon.
The Pictures: The shots today are celebrities and politicians with computers. Kinda scary, huh? There's also a few of my strange ones to change the pace.
This Date In History: 1580; The British ship the Golden Hind, commanded by Sir Francis Drake, returns from it's around-the world journey bearing a cargo of spices and captured Spanish treasure. 1789; U.S. president George Washington appoints John Jay the nation's first chief justice of the Supreme Court and Thomas Jefferson its first Secretary of State.
1907; New Zealand, formerly a British colony, becomes a dominion within the British Commonwealth of Nations. 1960 In Chicago, Illinois, Democratic senator John F. Kennedy and Republican vice president Richard Nixon, stage the first televised debate between U.S. presidential candidates.
Birthdays: Theodore Gericault, painter (1791), T.S. Eliot, poet and critic (1888), Paul VI, pope (1897), George Gershwin, composer (1898).
The Hits Just Keep On Coming:
A Texas Air Traffic Control Conversation:
Dallas ATC:"Tower to Iran Air 666 - You are clear to land eastbound on runway 9R."
Iran Air: Thank you, Dallas ATC - We are clear to land eastbound on infidel's runway 9R - Allah is great!"
Dallas ATC: "Pakistan Air 7-11 - You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R."
Pakistan Air 7-11: Thank you, Dallas ATC - We are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R - Osama Bin Laden is the prophet!"
Iran Air 666: "Dallas ATC! Dallas ATC! - You have cleared both our aircraft for the same runway going in opposite directions! We are on a collision course! Instructions Please!"
Dallas ATC: "Well bless your hearts. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah 'hey' for us - ya hear?"
That's it for today my little tumble weeds. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.
Stay Tuned !
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Bailout....., it's a word being used everywhere and incorrectly, I might add. In economics and finance, a bail out (properly spelled) is a term used, especially in governments, to describe a situation where a bankrupt or nearly bankrupt entity is given a shot of liquidity, in order to meet its short term needs.
In actuality, the term should never have occasion to be used. In capitalism, the strong businesses survive while the weak fail. The government, which should be run like a business, should only spend the monies available to run itself. The problem is, the government is run and operated using deficit spending.
Politicians, through deficit spending, discovered that they could use earmarks and appropriate some of these monies for their own state or districts, while feathering their own nests in the meantime. Industry learned that through lobbyists, they could influence these same politicians with campaign contributions and questionable loans and payments to the politicians.
In the interim, both political parties, attempt to run the government in their own way and for their own gains. The republicans want to keep all the money in the family at the expense of the public. The democrats want to give all the money they can to a multi-generational welfare society and anyone who comes to America, whether legally or illegally.
The bottom line is that the middle class pays for the democratic give-aways while supporting the republicans through their tax dollars. The only way to insure that a we will not have a gridlocked, do-nothing Congress and that laws will be implemented to oversee and control poorly run, large corporations that force the use of the term "bail out" is to have a three party system that represents all of the people.
Imagine a three party system that would give the middle class some say in the running of this great nation. A left-wing party, a right wing party, and then a middle of the road party with two wings that could actually help the government fly.
Imagine that you would not have to vote for the egotistical, self-righteous, narcissistic, wet behind the ears, Barrack Hussein Obama and his motor mouthed vice presidential running mate. You would not have to vote for a war-mongering, close to death, computer illiterate, John McCain and his Shirley Temple, Britney Spears vice presidential running mate. You could just vote for someone normal or at worst, a combination of the above described candidates.
The Pictures: Perhaps you wonder about today's theme. Well, worry no more, my little bi-polar bears, the pics will give you a hint.
This Date In History: 1513; The members of a Spanish expedition under Vasco Nunez de Balboa cross the Panamanian isthmus, becoming the first Europeans to see the Pacific Ocean. 1690; "Publick Occurences, Both Forreign and Domestick,"(sic), the first newspaper in the American colnies, publishes its only issue before being suppressed by the government.
1789; Led by James Madison, the U.S. Congress approves 12 amendments to the Constitution. Ten of these amendments, which will be ratified by the states in 1791, are known as the Bill of Rights. 1965; Satchel Paige becomes the oldest pitcher in major league baseball history when he throws three scoreless innings for the Kansas City Athletics at the age or 59.
Birthdays: Rebecca Elizabeth Dozier-Sullivan (my mom) (1915), Qianlong, Chinese emperor (1711), William Faulkner, novelist (1897), Barbara Walters, television journalist (1931), Glen Gould, Canadian pianist, composer and broadcaster (1932), Scottie Pipen, basketball player (1965).
The Hits Just Keep On Coming:
Frank was excited about his new rifle, and decided to try bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it.
There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, "That was my cousin, and you have got two choices. Either I maul you to death, or we have sex."
After considering briefly, Frank decided to accede to the latter alternative. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge for his humiliation.
He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it.
There was another tap on his shoulder. This time, a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said, "That was a huge mistake, Frank. That was my cousin and you have got two choices. Either I maul you to death, or we have rough sex."
Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate. Although he survived, it did take several months before Frank finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods and he managed to track down the grizzly and shot it.
He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.
The polar bear said, "Admit it Frank, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
Two guys were walking in the woods one day, and they all of a sudden came across a bear. The bear noticed them, and started growling and generally getting really mean. The bear started to chase one of the guys, who, as it turns out, was from Czechoslovakia. The bear soon caught up with him, and ate him alive. The other guy turned around and ran for his life.
A little while later, the second guy found a park ranger station and told his story. The ranger took his gun, and they both went out in search of the bear, in order to destroy it. Soon, they came across two bears, one male, and one female. The ranger turned to the other guy and said: "Quick... tell me which bear ate your friend!" The ranger leveled his gun and got ready to shoot. "I'm not really sure," said the other guy, "they both look similar."
The ranger said, "Quick! Make up your mind!" said the ranger. The other guy said, "Ok, it was the male." The ranger promptly aimed and shot the female bear. The male ran off. Using his knife, the ranger cut open the belly of the female and found the body of the other man.
"But why didn't you shoot the male when I thought it was the male who ate my friend?" the other man asked. "Well," said the ranger, "I never trust anyone who says that the Czech's in the male."
That's it for today my little bare cubs. More tomorrow.
Stay Tuned !
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Today is the day of the week affectionately referred to as Hump Day. Although it describes the acme or apex of the week, it also has more non-descript definitions that would be better left to one's imagination. In either case, it breaks up the week quite well for me and allows me to wander into the night to AREA 51 in search of an evening of leisure and in the company of friends. Then again, being an equal opportunity reveler, I would feel equally as comfortable in the arms of a young lady.
Speaking of young ladies, my thanks to Rose, author of Roses Are Read for today's graphic. You can read Rose's journal by clicking the link on my sidebar.
Joe Biden ran off at the mouth today and I really tried to listen to what he had to say, knowing full well that the only reason that he's even on this ticket is for self promotion and the hope of becoming president. Nevertheless, I attempted to listen to what he had to say. I finally gave up after he repeated the words "ladies and gentlemen" for about the fortieth time before making his point.
You would think that as long winded Biden is and as much as he likes to hear himself speak, he'd realize how he sounded. Methinks a Dale Carnegie speaking course should beon his agenda. Between Biden's "ladies and gentleman", Obama's me, my, I, repertoire and McCain's "my friends," I'm about ready to stick a sharp pencil in my ear.
The good thing is that in a few weeks, either Obama's going to give the country away to support the I need, I want, give me, help me crowd or McCain's gonna blow up the country. Either way, I'll know how to dress.
In shocking news yesterday, former American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken, announced that he is gay. You've got to be kidding. That Macho guy is a backdoor guy? I wonder how he kept it a secret? Damn, Bruce, I'd have never guessed it. Then again, her did play catcher for his third grade softball team.
The Pictures: The pictures today are from National Geographic magazine and are taken from the "photo of the day" archives from July, August and September 2008. There's no rhyme or reason to my selections. I just thought they were purty.
This Date In History: 1869; In the financial crisis known as Black Friday, American speculators James Fisk and Jay Gould attempt to corner the U.S. market in gold, causing the stock and commodity exchanges to fluctuate wildly. 1957; Playing their last game at Brooklyn's Ebbets field before moving to Los Angeles, the Brooklyn Dodgers defeat the Pittsburgh Pirates, 2-0.
1969; The trial of the Chicago Eight (later named the Chicago Seven), anti-Vietnam War activists charged with inciting a riot at the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago, Illinois, begins. 1988; American athlete Jackie Joyner-Kersee wins the gold medal in the heptathalon at the Olympic Games in Seoul, Korea, setting a new world record of 7,291 points in the event.
1991; Theodore Seuss Geisel, writer of children's books under the pseudonym Dr. Seuss, dies in la Jolla, California, at the age of 87.
Birthdays: JohnMarshall, Supreme Court justice (1755), F. Scott Fitzgerald, American writer (1896), Jim Henson, puppeteer (1936), Eavan Boland, poet (1944), Joe Green, football player (1946).
The Hits Just Keep On Coming:
Two robins were sitting in a tree. The first robin says, "I'm hungry. Let's fly down and find some lunch. They flew down to the ground and found a nice plot of newly plowed ground that was full of worms. They ate and ate until they could eat no more.
The first robin says, " I'm so full that I don't think I can fly back up into the tree." The second robin replied, "Let's just lay here and bask in the warm sun."
So they plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner than they had fallen asleep, a fat tomcat came and gobbled them up. As the cat sat washing his face, he thought, "I just love Baskin Robbins."
A man and his friend meet at the clubhouse for a game of golf. The man has a little dog with him and on the first green, when the man sinks a twenty foot putt, the little dog starts to yip and stands up on its hind legs.
The friend is quite amazed at this clever trick and says, "That dog is really talented. What doeshe do when you miss a putt?" The man says, "Somersaults."
His friend says, "somersaults? That's incredible. How many does he do?"The man says, "That depends on how hard I kick him in the ass."
That's it for today my little lily pads. More tomorrow.
Stay Tuned !