Friday, March 27, 2009

Bedroom Golf - The Recession Spawns New Games !

From time to time, I learn of new games and recently, my pal Garnett sent me information on the newest game born from the current recession. Since the cost of playing golf has become so expensive, The game is called bedroom golf and the rules of the game are as follows:

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.

2. Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

6. Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival. Experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention to well formed mounds and bunkers.

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage a players equipment for this reason.

9. Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear, just in case.

10. Players should not assume that the course is in shape to play at all times. Players may be embarrassed if they find the course temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case.

11. Players should assume their match has been properly scheduled particularly when playing a new course for the 1st time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else is playing what they considered a private course.

12. The owner of the course is responsible for the pruning of any bushes, which may reduce the visibility of the hole.

13. Players are strongly advised to get the owners permission before attempting to play the backside.

14. Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace at the owners request.

15. It is considered an outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

There was a papa mole, a mamma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Mamma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."

During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table. "Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you." The physician, "All right, I'll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you're through." In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness, "Doctor, I've undressed. What shall I do with my clothes?" The physicain said, "Put them on the chair, on top of mine."

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"

At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much for a season pass?"

That's it for now my little sweet peas. More soon.

Stay Tuned !

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Lost In The 50's - A Return To My Childhood

The 50's was a magical era and life seemed very simple. Ike was president and America was prosperous. The New York Yankees and the Brooklyn Dodgers were my two favorite baseball teams and my hero, Rocky Marciano, was the heavyweight boxing champion of the world, These were my formative years and I keep the memories in that special little place in my heart, knowing that it only happens once.

I went through elementary and junior high schooling during the 50's and the lessons learned in and out of the classroom were instrumental in the formation of my character. School was a fun but stern place and the teachers took no prisoners. If you got into trouble, the teacher paddled you. You took your punishment and held your tongue lest the teacher give you a note to take to your parents. If you did get a note, it meant a worse fate was in store when you presented the note to your parents. I always gave my note to my mother with the hope that she would deal with it and not pass it on to my father.

School was also a social place and I enjoyed that part immensely. Music was at the top of everyone's conversation and the birth of rock and roll made it even more fun. There were only a few radio stations and they were AM at that. The radio stations played all the songs. There were no specialty rock and roll station, no country music station, no big band station. There was the stations and they played everything.

Radio was big in those days as very few people had television sets and only a few people had telephones. At night, the family would actually "watch the radio" as shows like Gangbusters, Amos and Andy, The Green Hornet, The Lone Ranger (my favorite), Inner Sanctum, Dragnet and many others played. You watched the radio and what you saw was limitless as your imagination provided the mental video.

Our radio was an RCA Victor and it was about a foot wide and a foot tall. It had two knobs, the tuner and the volume. The top of the radio would open up exposing a turn table with a single metal rod. The record speeds were 33 and 1/3 or 78 and the records were all the size of a modern day LP album. The only difference was that the record had one song on each side. You had to be very careful because it you dropped the record, it would shatter and break.

My brother Kirt and I started singing together and in the sixth grade, my teacher, Mr. Hall, taught me to play the guitar. I, in turn taught my brother to play, as well, and the Sullivan Brothers began performing for anyone who would listen. We sang all of the Everly Brothers songs as well as all the rock and roll songs of the day.

My Brother and I actually started singing country music and I can remember distinctly when the sad news came over the radio, reporting that Hank Williams had passed away in the back seat of his car. Williams was one of my favorite singers and his untimely death really upset my brother and I.

The 50's was a wonderful time for me and I thought I'd reminisce those times with you. I added a special playlist for this entry and I hope it brings you fond memories. It did for me.

Stay Tuned !