Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The Attack Of The Seven Toed Cat !

Today's Hump Day and it's normally the day I go on a mission to AREA 51 at Lakes Cafe and Pub. Today, however, has been a day of resolving problems and putting out fires and I'm still not finished. All is not lost, however, in that I am working diligently to complete my work and attend the worldly discussions being held during happy hour.

My cat, Shithead, on the other hand has decided that today is a fine day to hide and then attack me as I walk by. His Kamikaze-like attitude has only reinforced my belief that in his former life, he was a ninja warrior. After admonishing him many times, he decided it was chow time and went to the kitchen to munch out.

There was peace for about three minutes until he came out of the kitchen meowing with his mouth full of cat food, backed arched, with a look on his face like he had never seen me before in his entire life. He then proceeded to attack my ankle, knowing full well that if one claw penetrated my skin, he would be walking with a limp for a week.

After ascertaining that I was not in the mood to play, he retired to the sofa and at this time is sleeping on his back, front paws in the air and his back feet spread widely in a position that even Britney Spears could not accomplish.

The Pictures: Totally insane pictures today, chosen by the careful thoughts of an overworked journalist. Browse at your own risk.

This Date In History: 1872; Incorporated in 1870, New York City's Metropolitan Museum of Art opens its doors to the public. 1915; The World's Fair opens in San Francisco. The fair, called the Panama-Pacific Exhibition, celebrates the opening of the Panama Canal and the rebuilding of San Francisco following the 1906 earthquake. 1962; Astronaut John Glenn, in the Mercury capsule Friendship 7, orbits Earth three times to become the first American to orbit the Earth. 1963; Willie Mays signs a one year $100,000 contract with the San Francisco Giants.

Birthdays: Ansel Adams, photographer (1902), Sidney Portier, actor (1924), Robert Altman, motion-picture director (1925).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:   Did you ever Wonder?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what are the others here to do?

If you take an oriental man and spin him around several times does he become disoriented?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If a pig loses his voice, does he become disgruntled?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

If "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language, could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed Up?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

Are people who read the bible more often as they get older cramming for their final exam?

Instead of putting criminal's pictures in the Post Office, why don't they put their pictures on stamps so that the mailmen can lookfor them while they deliver the mail?

No one ever says "it's only a game" when their team is winning.

What happened to Preparations A through G? 


That's it for today my little shortcakes. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !


ma24179 said...

I loved the KFC picture lol! And your poor cat, he just wanted to play lol! Hope you have a wonderful day and once again, I loved the jokes. (((HUGS))) -Missy

bamawmn46 said...

Hey Jimmy!
We are probably rather tired after being up during the middle of the night. I don't think I could handle going to Area 51 tonight.... unless someone drove me there.

Interesting variety of pics today....

Luv ya!

luvrte66 said...

Sheeba likes to hide underneath the pool table in the basement, and when I walk by, he leaps out at me, flailing his front paws. Cracks me up every time. As I walk up the steps, he likes to bite my calves. That part isn't so funny, because his little teeth are SHARP!


shrbrisc said...

lmao I loved this entry

midwestvintage said...

 Poor old Shithead, Oh Jimmy.....come out and plaaayyyyy.  Love the jokes.


slapinions said...

I must be a complete dumb-ass because I can't find where these mysterious pics are! Yesterday, just as a completely innocent and random example, you mentioned a nekked Lindsay Lohan and I'm still a-waitin' to see them, er, if I was interested. Is there a link to these daily pics I'm missing?


mpnaz58 said...

Which is why I don't own a cat!
xoxo ~Myra

lanurseprn said...

LOL on Shithead. I'm a dog person, actually.
Your pictures were fun. But, the one with the rats put me in shock! LOL!
Love ya,

rdautumnsage said...

Something about the 7 toed felines, they seem to all come with attitude. Socrates sits on a small ledge at the top of the steps and swipes you when you go by. I have scratches on my shoulder from the little terror. An hour later she jumps up in your lap loving as can be, like nothing ever happened. You weren't kidding when you said you had a strange mix of pictures today...(Hugs) Indigo