Today's been a little tough on me. Last night was fun, but today was for grocery shopping at Winn Dixie. I hate shopping for groceries because the stupid little tags they put underneath the products can only be read by an owl.
So I stand there like an asshole and pretending that I'm reading the label when in fact I'm only trying to find the price. That's easy you might say. No, tuna breath, because people don't put back the items where they belong. So, when I get to the counter, they say "$12.00." "I say it's tuna!" They say,"Yes, but this is virgin tuna caught by the Prince of Wales off the Pacific Coast!" I say, "the price is $00.63 per can." They say, "No, old blind man, that's the product next to this product". I say, "xs7%&9FKSO#^2".
The Pictures: Some trips are just plum worth it!
This Date In History: 1919; The American Legion is formed in Paris, France. 1964; Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton are married in Montreal, Canada. 2007; For those of you that do not know, Corporate tax returns are due today. For those of you who do know, they're still due today!
Birthdays: Andrew Jackson, 7th President of the United States (1767), Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Jurist and Professor of Law (1933), Phil Lesh, bassist for the Grateful Dead (1940).
Why does the phrase "abusing illegal drugs" sound weird? Is there a way to use illegal drugs and not be abusive to them?
Anyone who has skipped school or played hookey from work knows that it is obligatory to watch "The Price Is Right". When they say" Ethel Johnson!,Come on down !", there's always the little 86 year old lady who takes 23 minutes to get to the bidding area. Inevitably she wins and when it's time to spin the Big Wheel, she moves it about three inches and Bob Barker say, "Do you need help?" Hey Bob! She's old...she can't do back flips any more!
Then there's always the dummy dressed like an Eskimo seal in heat, who, after hearing bids of $100, $200 and $300, bids $4,154.63. I think it is obligatory that every asshole in the word appear one time and make a bid so stupid, ya just wanna smack 'em!
An Oldie Goldie: In an effort to stop the bird flu, President Bush has bombed The Canary Islands.
That's it for today my little grocery shoppers. More tomorrow.
Stay Tuned !
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