Do You Feel Lucky, Punk ?

Sorry to use the Clint Eastwood line, but ya gotta see the pictures today. Make sure you click the "view larger" option (sorry guys, it doesn't work on everything), because when you view the word lucky in the dictionary, these pictures appear. Personally, I'm sure the driver had a permanent stain in his skivies!

Did you ever wonder how you differentiate between flatulation and defecation? That's passing gas or pooping your pants for the hard of understanding (duheet-tee-dee).

The Pictures: I've got several today, but the first two are something else. Keep going, though, there's some more LUCKY pic's and a surprising END. 

This Date In History: 1933;  Adolf Hitler is named Chancellor of Germany by President Hindenburg (who later had a fiery crash in the United States).  1948:  Mohandus Gandhi is assassinated by Nathuram Godse

There's some things on TV commercials you need to know:  VONAGE; "...and with Vonage, I moved and I kept my same phone number". No, shit ! It's a law dumb ass. Anyone can keep their same phone number. FREE CREDIT CHECK.COM (OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT). ".......just click on freeyadayadyada.com and get a free credit report". The law provides that all credit companies must give you a free credit report every year. All you have to do is request it. Email the bastards and tell them I told you !

Birthdays: First and foremost, my friend, Tania. Happy Birthday Baby! Vanessa Redgrave (1937), Gene Hackman (1930), Boris Spaasky, chess champion (1937).

Question Of The Day: Based on my grocery shopping escapade this afternoon, what burns your ass more?  a)  The look you get when you ask where something is (somewhat akin to the same look your dog gives you when you ask him "Where's Timmy, Lassie? Is Timmy in the well?'  b)  When they answer in a different language (I speak three, but that's not the point).  c) When someone stops to chat and the total weight of both loaded carts and drivers surpass 600 pounds  d) The little rugrats that constantly cry "Mommy, please, please, please",  ad nauseum.  e) A candle about three feet high (remember the question).

That's it for today my lucky drivers on your way to go grocery shopping. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, Entertainment, Krystel's Restaurant and Nightclub, Comedy, DoyoufeelLucky?, Lucky Strike, Strike it rich, Stained Skivies, lying tv commercials and that thieves that write them, all sharks and attorneys (except mine)

Barbaro, 2006 Kentucky Derby Winner, Euthanized !

I was happy until 30 minutes ago when I learned that 2006 Kentucky Derby winner, Barbaro, was euthanized today. Barbaro, who was the odds on favorite to win the 2006 Preakness, broke his rear leg in the race and was immediately taken to surgery where the veterinarians repaired the break. His recovery period was going fine until complications set in and was he euthanized today to spare him from further pain.

Barbaro became the darling of the public and the numerous inquiries as to his health swamped the Internet. Co-owner Roy Jackson said it was a difficult, but correct, decision because of the the pain that Barbaro would endure.

Scott Pruett, Juan Pablo Montoya and Savador Duran won the Rolex 24 hour endurance race at Daytona International Speedway Sunday.

Pictures:  Barbaro wins the 2006 Kentucky Derby going away. God Bless Him !

This Date In History:  1936;  Baseball greats Ty Cobb, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner, Walter Johnson and Christy Mathewson become the first players to be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. The hall opened it's doors in 1939. 1958; Paul Newman marries Joanne Woodward  1995; The San Francisco 49ers make NFL history by wining their 5th Super Bowl.

On Saturday, January, 2007, this journal passed the 1,000 reader mark in less than two months (Start up date December 5, 2006).  My complete and heartfelt thanks go out to each and every one of you. I must admit however, probably 750 of those were me, editing the countless errors that I make. Your continued readership and comments are not only welcomed but essential to me. THANK YOU !

Birthdays" W.C. Fields (1880), Thomas Paine, political philosopher (1737), William McKinley, the 25th President of the United Sates (1843), Oprah Winfrey (1954).

THE  MOZART SAGA:  The response to Saturday's video clip of Mozart, the iguana with the five day erection, was hilarious (not to Mozart). I will continue to look for video clips worthy of your review!

I did find out that prior to surgery, Mozart was told not to worry because it was just going to be a simple circumcision.

Question Of The Day: Today it's just a question (duheet-tee-deet). Do you watch Seinfeld and if so, your favorite story. All readers leaving comments today will not receive a copy of Mozarts new recording:   Penis Concerto in P minus.

That's it for today. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, Entertainment, Krystel's Restaurant and Nightclub, Comedy, Mozart, erections, erector sets, hard boiled eggs, hard knocks, hard offs, hard hats, Barbaro

Iguana With An Erection !!!

I know you're going to think I fabricated this story, so I downloaded the video so you can see that I don't invent this, I just report it!

OK,  It's not the number one news story of the day, but when you see words like "Iguana with an erection", you think, what?

It seems that Mozart, an iguana in Antwerp, Belgium's Aquatopia was having what he thought was a quick piece of ass, when his lady friend spurned his advances. As most men know, when something like this happens, certain problems arise. You suddenly have a perfect instrument with no place to put it.

In Mozart's case, he has had the "condition" for a week. If that was me I take picture and videos of "Ralph" and email them to every woman in America!This condition usually results in a term I fondly remember from my youth, commonly referred to as "blue balls". I can assure you that while most females reading today's entry might chuckle, but I can assure you that there is not one male that finds this malady amusing.

This condition was further worsened by the fact that our friend what was dragging his equipment in the sand as he paced around his enclosure trying to figure out how to solve the problem. As any male who has had amorous relations at the beach would know, this is not good!

The vets at the zoo saw this problem and decided it would be best to amputate Mozart's penis because of the risk of infection. I am sure that Mozart, as well as I, would strenuously object to this hasty decision! The words "penis" and "amputation" should never be used together in a sentence, paragraph, story, encyclopedia, dicktionary............No Where!

Here's the clincher! Vets say that Mozart's sex life should (?) not be affected because of the fact that male iguanas have two, count 'em, two (2) penises. I can see the scenario; "Excuse me baby, I just broke my dick, but don't worry, I've got a spare (life is good).

The Video: I just learned how to download videos to this site today and I could not have found a more  fitting subject than an iguana with a woody!

This Date In History: 1880;  Thomas Edison patents the first electric light bulb. 1888; The National Geographic Society is established.  1967;  Astronauts Virgil "Gus" Grissom, Edward White and Roger Chaffee are killed in a cockpit fire aboard the Apollo 1 spacecraft during a flight simulation test. 1984;  Michael Jackson's hair catches on fire during the shooting of a Pepsi commercial.

Birthdays: Jerome Kern, composer (1885),  Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, composer (1756),  Lewis Carroll (Charles Dodgson), author (1832), Donna Reed, actress (1921).

Post Script: Late Entries, Cryptic and Blatant Hellos, Et Cetera; Thank you CSR, I had fun, Nice to see you last evening, Carmen, You gotta admit it, where can you find a more stimulating story about an iguana penis than here, An escaped convict was spotted driving a tour bus that he stole from a country music artist. Isn't that fodder for a song? Dry martini, jigger of gin, Oh what a spell you've got me in,

Question Of The Day: Who's The Best Group?;  a)  Hootie and The Blowfish b)  The Doobie Brothers  c) Monica and The Weenie  d) Peter, Paul and Married  e) The Green Bay Packers

Answer: It's always the Green Bay Packers. No matter what the question, the answer is The Green Bay Packers. Why, you ask? Because when I asked my ex-girlfriend if she had any previous relationships, she said "one". The Green Bay Packers !

That's it for today my little veterinarians. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, Entertainment, Krystel's Restaurant and Nightclub, Comedy, Mozart, Mozart's erection, erector sets, TV sets, amputation,

Friday - I'm On A Mission !

You heard it here ! I'm on a mission. I have a secret hiding spot where I have a hundred dollar bill stashed away for something, but I don't remember what it is. To make matters worse, I forgot where my secret hiding place is. I've checked the pockets of all my jackets, pants and shirts. The old "hide it in the electrical outlet" won't work because I haven't been living here that long.

My guess is that the "secret hiding place" is mobile (i.e. it's not where I reside, it goes with me wherever I move to). My new idea was to ask my friends where they would hide something, but then I thought, maybe they wouldn't want to disclose that just in case I wander around their house when I visit.

I'm imagining the scenario; "Lourdes, Mira! It's Jimmy! Keep an eye on him because he wanted to know where I hide things" Nah, that won't work. I wouldn't tell anyone either (it doesn't matter, I'd forget that too).

Suggestions ?

Pictures: I've got some new animal pictures thanks to my friend, Carrie. I'll try and add more later.

This Date In History:  1861; Louisiana secedes from the Union  1956;  Buddy Holley has his first recording session at Decca Studios in Nashville, Tennessee.

The morning I was listening to a song by Robin Thicke called "Lost Without You" on MTV. I had never heard of him before but his abilty came through instantly. If you happen to catch his song, close your eyes and try to remember who he reminds you of. I did that and I know the sound, I just can't remember the guy's name (or where my secret hiding place is , for that matter).

Why do they sterilize needles before lethal injection? What, the guy's gonna catch a cold? My friend, Tom once had an emergency apendectomy. Rosie O'donnell had an emergency adadictome. Is it normal to wash you hands every ten minutes? Why do American chickens say cock-a-doodle-doo and Cuban chickens say kikiri-ki-ki? And who named that poor bird a cockatoo. I knew my ex-girlfriend liked birds because when I asked her where she was going, she said out to find a cockatoo. THAT'S NOT RIGHT !!

Birthdays:  Douglas McArthur (1880),  Wayne Gretsky, Canadian ice hockey star (1961),  Eddie Van Halen, guitarist (1957)

It's Viernes (Friday) Social !  Happy hour starts at 4:00 p.m. Kenny starts the show at 6:00 p.m. Krystel's Restaurant and Nightclub.

Question Of The Day: And then I wrote;  a) "She was only the farmer's daughter, but all the horse manure"  b) "It had to be you, my wife wouldn't do" c) "Baby, won't you please come home, It's ok, my wife's in Rome d) "Just call me Pee Pee 'cause I'm all y'our'n".

The winner of today's question will receive a copy of Brandon Lee's new book, "The moon, like a testicle, hung low in the sky".

That's it for today my little kitty cats. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, Entertainment, Krystel's Restaurant and Nightclub, Comedy, lost and found, Laurel and Hardy, Amos and Andy, Brooks and Dunn, done, over, fin, blind squirrels

Yeah ! I Know It's Late !

Ok, Ok ! Last night was Karaoke night and sometimes even a blind squirrel can find an acorn. Consequently, I woke up at 1:00 p.m. (only because "Shithead" wouldn't stop meowing!) So, I way behind schedule. It's 4:52 p.m. and I'm still catching up. I've got to see someone at 6:00 and I' m waaaayyy behind.

So, bear with me (or bare with me, your call) and I'll get this up to snuff later this evening. In the interim, amuse yourselves and I promise, later tonight, I'll have some good chisme!

A tidbit; Rosie Fat Ass and Babwa Waa Waa are at it! I'm trying to download the clip and if I can, (I know it can be done, just don't know if I can do it). More later, if not the clip, the scoop!

Simon Asshole and The Happy Hour Girl are also at it. I just can't keep up with this garbage, but...................Ya gotta love it!

The Pictures: Ok, it's just me, but as it turns out, that's exactly what I wore last night at Krystel's Restaurant and Nightclub!

This Date In History: I have no idea, because I haven't updated that yet, but I need to write something in red to fill this space until I research it.

Birthdays: Somebody neat (1945),  Someone else (1953),  What's her name (19??) I don't know cause I just met her, but I'm guessing 35-40. I'll tell you later.

Question Of The Day: Can Jimmy finish this entry today? a) who cares? b) I'm sure he will....er, who's Jimmy  c) Not a snowball's chance in hell ) d) The Green Bay Packers

The winner of today's question receives a non-expense paid with the author to help the poor bastard find various things he lost last night.

Post Script: Late entries, cryptic and blatant hellos, et cetera; I was going to re-edit today's entry, but I've decided to leave it as it stands. For one, I like to reflect back on my frame of mind at the time and secondly, to see if anyone notices. My new computer friend at Krystels, you're supposed to email me (you know who you are)! Rosa this one's for you. Hector, you'd better be reading this or I'm telling "L". Jorge L, where in the hell are you?

I was walking to the kitchen to refresh my Beverage and I heard a clicking sound. When I stopped, the clicking went away (it was my ankle). How's my perfect martini? Chilled, slightly stirred and waiting for my consumption. CSR, ya me abandonaste? Carmen, you'd better be a Krystel's tomorrow like you promised! Como?

They say you burn 200 calories during sex. Hell, I burn 200 calories trying to take the cap off the viagra! Como?

That's not it for today my little karaoke stars. More later. Actually, that's it (See P.S.)

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, Entertainment, Krystel's Restaurant and Nightclub, Comedy, Dewars, karaoke, Rosie, numbness of the extremities, cat food, the Green Bay Packers, ham and cheese, pressed ham, hamsters, chinchillas

The Daytona 500 Is Coming !

I don't know if I've told you, but I like motor sports, especially Nascar. The "Super Bowl" of Nascar is the Daytona 500 which is coming in February. I'll be making periodic comments. If you are not familiar with Nascar, give it a chance and you'll be up to speed in no time (pun intended). There's a whole bunch of changes coming this year, including the car of the future. The month of February is called"Speed Weeks", which include the 24 hours of Daytona, the Bud Shootout, Busch 300 and the finale is the Daytona 500. I'll give you names, dates, and times as we enter February.

Prez Georgie B. spoke last night. I'm happy he didn't say "New-q-ler" ten times. It always scares me that the man in charge of the United States can't get passed 6th grade English. He's not stupid, just stubborn. He realizes he says the word wrong and obviously doesn't care.  Mostly rhetoric, the speech had some optimistic thoughts, unfortunately with these partisan politicians, the only that will happen if they pass anything is it will probably be vetoed because the Democrats will probably be the reason it's passed. The jury is still out on this session of Congress.

I certainly would like to see the Iraq problem, the porous border problem and social security addressed seriously.

The Pictures: One of my favorite drivers was and still is Dale Earnhardt, who lost his life in a crash on the last lap of the 2001 Daytona 500. His son, Dale Jr., is racing now (and was during the 2001 race) and is one of Nascar's top drivers. The pictures are a tribute to Dale and wife Teresa, and Dale Jr. 

This Date In History: 1935;  The first canned beer is sold by Kreuger Brewing Company in Richmond Virginia. Thus creating the future machos of America, who would display to the world how strong they were by crushing a beer can with one hand.   1965;  Winston Churchill, Prime Minister of Great Britain (1940-45 and 1951-55), dies in London at the age of 90.

It's Wednesday and Karaoke Night at Krystel's Restaurant and Nightclub. The music's in English and Spanish and my drink is in Scottish, so stop by and see me. I had one special request last week, but the microphone wouldn't fit and I sang anyway.

Birthdays: Ernest Borgnine (1917),  Aaron Neville, singer (1941)

Rosie Fat Ass insulted Okra the other day, but Okra maintained her cool (so far). Did you ever see the Bulldog on the front of a Mack Truck? I think Rosie posed for it.

On a quick note, I usually rate and give you the song and artist I'm listening to at the top of the page every day. Being a musician and performer, I would be remiss not to comment on today's song. It's a remake of the Natalie Cole hit "Pink Cadillac".  Jerry Lee Lewis, The "Killer", performs it very excellently and you owe it to yourself to hear both versions as I rate them both ****.

Question Of The Day: (awaiting entry)

That's it for today my little mushrooms. More Tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, Entertainment, Krystel's Restaurant and Nightclub, Karaoke, Comedy, Dale Earnhardt, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Daytona 500,Nascar, Rosie, Oprah, Bulldog, watermelon, mellonball, let's drink, liverwurst

Politicians, The "P" Word !

The Senate passed a bill today (87-0 ) addressing the revocation of pension payments to corrupt, crooked and convicted politicians, a subject which I wrote about several days ago.. Randall Duke Cunningham and James Traficante, both of whom are still in prison, are a couple of the names that come to mind. The House was slated to vote on a similar bill today, but after a long debate chose to"study" it instead.  Ostensibly, the bill was not voted on because the Republicans wanted to consider a tougher version and twenty-something representatives are late in returning due to the severe snow storms that are affecting the United States.

The Senate version addresses five felonies, primarily dealing with ethics (i.e. bribery, lying, fraud and the like). Murder is not one of them !  If they are charged with a felony and plea bargain down to misdemeanor, they are not affected by the law.  An amendment was added to the Senate version to make the bill effective immediately.  The original bill would not have taken effect until after the current session ended (just in case, I assume).  The law is not retroactive, thus, current Congress persons who have been convicted of felonies and/or are serving a prison sentence will continue to receive their pensions.

The Pictures: New campaign buttons for politicians

This Date In History: 1907:  Charles Curtis, the first Native American elected to serve in the United States Senate, begins his term. He later resigns to become President Herbert Hoover's Vice President.  1968;  North Korean gun boats seize the crew on the U.S. Navy intelligence ship Pueblo. 1975;  Comedy show Barney Miller premieres on ABC. 1989;  Salvador Dali, Spanish painter and member of the surrealist movement, dies at the age of 84.

 I got some powdered water today, but I don't know what to add to it. Is it weird to put crotchless panties on a butterball turkey? My friend called me from Wyoming to tell me he was attacked by coyotes. It seems they painted a fake tunnel entrance on the side of a mountain and put some Acme bird seed beside the entrance. When he stopped to look at the bird seed, they dropped a piano on him.

Birthdays: Edouard Manet, French painter (1832),  John Kancock, American patriot and Statesman (1737),  Jeanne Moreau, actor (1928)

I'm still looking for the rest of the O.J. Simpson story I heard the other day. In brief, someone was being interviewed and stated that a contract has been found with O.J.'s name on it and that contract is linked to the publisher of his ill-fated book. I'll get back to you.

Question Of The Day:  Have you every gone to bed with a 2 at 10 and awoke the next day at 10 with a 2? Don't rush to judgment, your partner is probably thinking the same thing. What would you do? a) Quietly exit  b) Look for your wallet c) Start drinking again d) Go to Sears and get............. Male; Vasectomy, Female....Lobotomy.

The winner of today's question will receive the new Sears Drinking Kit, which includes bread crumbs to find your way home, a handy six pack of paper bags, and a syringe of penicillin.

That's it for today my little boozers.  More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Post Script: Late entries, Cryptic and Blatant Hellos, et cetera; I see you're online, my sugarpie....., How's my martini? Stirred, but not shaken...., Possum S. Hemmingway is alive and in his chair...., Where's Hoodrat?...., Roseh, where u b?...., Looks like Rosie Fat Ass is now looking for a fight with Okrah...., Georgie B. is about to mispronounce nuclear 10 times now on National TV. Looks like good fodder for tomorrow ! CYA ! 

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, Entertainment, Krystel's Nightclub, Comedy, Politicians, Thieves, Liars, Bottom Feeders, Barracudas, Attorneys, Sharks, Jets, West Side Story,

Super Bowl Bound !

The Super Bowl looms ! Two solid weeks of media, media, media. Combine that with a whole bunch of shit talking as we prepare the stage for the Super Bowl.

The Chicago-New Orleans game was a romp. That game was over almost before it began. I kinda rooted for New Orleans for obvious reasons, but I knew Chicago would win. Bears 39 Saints 14.

The Indianapolis-New England game was fantastic! It came down to who would score last although I think that Indianapolis played the better game. All in all it was interesting to watch. Colts 38 Patriots 34.

The Pictures: (1)  I like this one !  (2-3-4) "You Might Be A Redneck if..........(5)  Oh Shit !  (6) - I painted this in the a.m. hours using the computer. First time I tried it, although I have painted about sixty oil paintings. Not Bad !

This Date In History: 1666;  Shah Jahan, Emperor of India who built the Taj Majal dies in Agra, India.  1968;  Rowan and Martin's Laugh In premieres on NBC.  1973;  Roe v Wade. The United States Supreme Court rules women have the constitutional right to an abortion during the first six month's of pregnancy.  1973;  President Lyndon Baines Johnson dies at age 64.

I started a new area of commentary yesterday to be referred to in the future as Post Script.  The main reason is that things come into my head later in the day and rather than roll them over to the next day (and usually forget them), I'll just do a P.S.  I am also going to use it for cryptic and blatant hellos to all my friends and readers, along with my usual ramblings. Please take a look at yesterday's entry and see what you think. Your remarks and comments are welcomed and appreciated !

Birthdays: Lord Byron, English poet (1890),  Sam Cooke, singer and song writer (1931),  Linda Blair, actress in Oscar winning Movie "The Exorcist" (1959)

Question Of The Day: (awaiting entry)

Post Script:  Late entries, cryptic and blatant hellos, et cetera;  RoseH, did you convey my message to Al on his birthday? Avelino, I hope you liked my email yesterday! Brunette gal, sorry I didn't get back to you the other day, but expect an email today. Tboop, I can't figure out how to pick up your message at my space. I know it's there, I just can't retrieve it. Llamame ! There's always time for the Perfect Martini !

That's it for today my little tight ends.  More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, Entertainment, Krystels Nightclub, Comedy, Super Bowl, Superman, Soupy Sales, Soup to nuts, Liver and ice cream, Bologna and whipped cream, NUDITY

I Have No Idea !

It's Sunday morning and I can't seem to get my brain past breakfast. If today's entry's not real interesting, I apologize. I am hopeful than between now and my self-appointed deadline of 2:00 p.m. EST, I will come up with something clever and witty. In the interim, I'll put a few thoughts into words:

Former United States George Smathers (Florida) died today yesterday at the age of 93. Actor, comedian Ron Carey also died yesterday .

I've been listening to a girl singer by the name of Regina Specter (I'm not sure of the spelling), mostly due to the fact that I heard a song that was so bad I had to look at the name. This morning, on CBS ( a show that I watch almost every Sunday, and whose name Old Timer's Disease prevents me from telling you), there was a segment about Ms. Specter. She was born in Russia and grew up in the Bronx and has, as it turns out, much more ability than her current video portrays. It was a fascinating tale and I think I'll follow her career for a while.

The Pictures: I just got twenty of these photos from my friend, Beverly. I'll share more with you soon, maybe even today if my mind can get up to speed. No, I wasn't out last night although I seriously considered it.

This Date In History: 1793;  Louis XVI is executed by guillotine for treason 1924;  Soviet leader Vladimir Lenin dies at the age of 54. 1966;  Beatle George Harrison and Patricia Ann Boyd marry after meeting on the set of "A Hard Day's Night".

Birthdays:  Jack Nicklaus (1940),  Placido Domingo (1941), Christian Dior (1905),  Ethan Allen, patriot of the American Revolution (1738),  Geena Davis (1957).

Question Of The Day: Will Jimmy make this entry better today? a) I doubt it  b) Probably C) Isn't he already up to speed? d) Who cares?

Your thoughts and comments are appreciated!  Take the time do go to the bottom of the entry and under "add you own", add your own.

That's it for today my absolutely perfect, sexy (you know who you are), intelligent and wonderful readers (please vote b above). More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Post Script: (NEW) It dawned on me this evening that I can make later entries. So I will. This particular entry will always contain late thoughts, cryptic and blatant hellos, and anything else that comes to my feeble mind. Think of it as sort of the magazine that you take to the bathroom with you and the moment you assume (pun intended) the position, the doorbell or the telephone rings. Thanks to HR1000, Bev, Carrie and the Colts/Pats Championship for inspiring today's entry(s). Hello also to my daily Perfect Martini !  (You know who you are !) I'll probably omit someone everyday I'm sure, but you know I love you !

Have you noticed that a penalty flagged defensive back and a liquor store robber always end up in the same physical position? Hands in the air and denying the call

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, Entertainment, Krystel's Nightclub, Comedy, sexy readers, I believe in miracles, miracle on 34th street, street car named desire, ham and cheese

Hillary, Simon and Rosie ! Is There Enough Space?

Hillary Clinton, as predicted here several days ago, announced that she is forming an exploratory committee for the purpose of establishing candidacy for the Democratic Nominee for President of the United States. This should get interesting, as the musical duo of Clinton and Obama leaves me enough material to write a book larger than War and Peace. Several other politicians have announced their candidacy as well but are too numerous to mention and do not have a snowball's chance in hell of winning. I sure, however, they will manage to pocket a lot of illicit political contributions as most politicians are wont to do.

American Idol, viewed by 37 million viewers, is attempting to join the competition in my current Feud and Fuss (F&F) list. The show will qualify into my Feud and Fuss list because one of the qualifications for said list is that at least one member of the group must be an asshole! After reading their current remarks and actions, I analyzed the panel of judges. I have decided that they do qualify as one of the judges, whose initials are Simon Cowel, is definitely an asshole!

Cowell insulted a wannabe contestant and referred to him as a "Bush Baby" and prompted reporters to illustrate a picture of the "african primate". (I swear I do not make this crap up, I just report it).

Ah yes...but where does Rosie Fat Ass fit into the scenario? Well, it seems in a current discussion on "The View", The Chubster decided to go on a rant about how mean and nasty the judges were on the recent airing of the view. Roly Poly remarked, "Isn't that what America thinks is entertainment, to make fun of someone's physical appearance?" (Again, I just report them, I don't write them, but kudos to the writers)

Time Out !  Didn't Rosie just recently insult and make fun of Donald Trump? I'm sure I read something about that. Didn't Rosie just recently make fun of Asian People with her "ching chong" remarks on the air?

Fortunately there's a new format. It's called I-AP,  Insult the shit out of someone and then apologize publicly. This a happy hour two for one-er.Publicity and  more publicity.

Speaking of happy hour, Paula Abdul has to be cut off at two drinks after her slurring interview the other day.

And....Black actor Isaiah Washington, one of the stars of the Golden Globe winning television show, Grey's Anatomy, was heard to call fellow actor T.R. Knight a "fag". After initial denials, Washington resorted to the aforementioned I-AP .

Voila! Tres bien! The Grey's Anatomy remark drew GLAD out of the closet to denounce anyone using the "F" word. We now have the "N" word and the "F" word, Thankfully, asshole!, is still accepted.

The Pictures: Hillary's running, (2) Simon, Paula and the somewhat normal whats-his-name, (3) Simon's "Bush Baby", (4) Paula and the interview, (5) The Chubster, (6) Denny Doherty, of The Mamas and The Papas dies at age 66, (7) The Mamas and The Papas

This Date In History: 1961;  President John F. Kennedy makes his memorable inauguration speech.  1964; The album "Meet The Beatles" makes it's debut in the United States. 1981; American Hostages are released from Iran after 444 days. We should have nuked the bastards right there and then!

Denny Doherty, one of the members of the musical group, The Mamas and The Papas, died yesterday at the age of 66. A definite musical influence in my life, the outstanding harmonies of the group were easily identified in any song they performed. The group was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1998.

Humorist Art Buchwald recently died only to return on You Tube to announce, in a previously recorded new idea (My Obit), that he had died. Leave it to Buchwald. Ya Gotta love it!

Birthdays: Federico Fellini, Italian film director,  (1920), George Burns, comedian and actor,  (1896) Patricia Neal, actress (1926)

Question Of The Day: What's your Favorite Feud and Fuss (F&F):  a) Rosie vs The Trumpster b) Clinton and Obama c) Grey's Anatomy's Washington vs Knight.

The winner of today's question will win a lobotamy courtesy of Sears.

That's it for today my little gossips. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, Entertainment, Krystel's Nightclub, Comedy, Feuds, Family Feud, All In The Family, Free-for-all, okrah

Red China, White tablecloth's and T.G.I.F !

China now has the capability to destroy satellites in Space !  The vehicle was launched and successfully destroyed  a target, an aging Chinese weather satellite, in space. The United States (who along with Russia have the same capabilities) has filed a formal protest. This means China could destroy satellites, that drive computers, that run our government, stock markets, armies and navy, traffic lights, hospitals.......where's that damn red button?

Didn't we file formal protests in World wars I and II, the Korean War (my bad, Police action), Viet Nam, etc.? I would call Chinese President Hu Jintao or Mental-e-ill or Wun-hung-lo or whatever that inbred little bastard's name is and advise him he's wading into some deep shit!

The Pictures: My advisor, Ween E. dogg had advised me that he's pissed and ready for action. Picture # 2, "Ladies and gentlemen, if you look out of the left side of the plane you'll get an excellent view of a Boeing 747. Please place your lap trays up, place your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye".

This Date In History: 1937;  Howard Hughes flew from Los Angeles, California to Newark, New Jersey in 7 hours and 28 minutes, establishing a transcontinental record.  1949;  Bob Feller of the Cleveland Indians signs a $30,000 per year contract to become the highest paid pitcher in the major leagues.  1953;  Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball) gives birth to Little Ricky. More viewers tuned in to this television show than the presidential inauguration of President Dwight D. Eisenhower the following day.

Well, you know where I'm going this evening. I'll be at Krystel's Restaurant and nightclub for happy hour where we will solve today's problems in a brilliant bar discussion by such renowned names in world affairs such as; Emilio, Doc, Jorge, Willie, Guillermo and myself. I am not sure our discussions will be covered by the media. 

Birthdays: First and foremost, my sister, Jeanne....Happy Birthday, Sis! Secondly, my friend, Alfonso....Happy Birthday, Bro! 

Dolly Parton (1946),  Paul Cezanne, French painter (1839),  Robert E. Lee (1807),  Janis Joplin (1943).

Question Of The Day: Based on today's news about China, what would you do in response to this obviously major problem?  a) Give them a stern warning that we will take care of them exactly like we're did Iraq  b)  Send our newest political stars, the ever experienced Mr. Obama and the mild and meek Ms.Clinton  c)  Send an intercontinental ballistic reply with the label "MADE IN AMERICA !

The winner of today's question will be allowed to push the red button!

That's it for today my little martini drinkers.  More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, Entertainment, Krystel's Nightclub, Comedy, Jeanne's Birthday, Alfonso's Birthday, Birth of the blues, blue velvet, velvet paintings, Elvis!

Obama vs Clinton replaces Rosie vs The Trumpster ?

You really have to read this!  In a poll on AOL, The Daily Pulse asked the following (based on 300,000 polled).

a) In the Democratic race for President, Who would do better? Response: Obama 58% Clinton 42%

b) In the Presidential race, who would do better against a GOP nominee? Response: Obama 61% Clinton 39%

c) Would you like to see Obama run for President? Yes: 61% No: 39%

d) Would you like to see Clinton run for President? Yes: 44% No: 56%

Now, look at the sources! barackobama.com ,  newyorktimes.com, senate.gov,  whitehouse.gov.com

Granted , it's an informal poll;  it represents  .001% of the population;  look at the sources, but...........

How can someone who has no experience be considered ahead of someone with tons of experience? It has nothing to do with sex or race, I dislike both equally. If I was a Democrat (right!), my money would be on former senator John Edwards , of North Carolina. It would be on him because of his qualifications,  period.

The nail in the Democratic coffin will be, and remember I said it here, Clinton and Obama as running mates! No? It's being talked about in the press as we (I) speak.

Don't think the GOP is getting off! John McCain is a front runner! The rest have too much baggage.

Let the mud slinging begin. (Whew!) *Author steps off soap box.

The Pictures: I am resisting adding more pictures for fun, but I am a weak person. We'll see if I change my mind around 12:01 pm tomorrow.

This Date In History: 1778: Captain James Cook discovers the "Sandwich Islands", which was later renamed the Hawaiian Islands. 1896; The X-Ray machine is first exhibited in New York City, the "X" in the name is used because of the initial.  It was unknown what type of ray it was. 1996; Michael Jackson's marriage to Lisa Marie Presley ends in divorce after two years. SURPRISE !

I just got wind of a story linking O.J. Simpson to a signed contract with a corporation that was behind his book deal. This item, if true, has major financial ramifications. I'll have more later.

Birthdays: Oliver Hardy, comedy partner, Laurel and Hardy,  (1892)  Danny Kaye, actor,dancer,comedian,singer  (1913)  Kevin Costner (1955)

Question Of The Day: (awaiting entry)

That's it for today my little doughnuts. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

 

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, Entertainment, Krystel's Nightclub, Comedy, Obama vs Clinton, Rosie vs The Trumpster, Roe vs Wade, Vice vs Versa

The New Candidates For President ?

It's begun! Posturing and positioning for the 2008 presidential election. I have no choice but to begin with the Democrats being they made today's news.

Senator Barack Obama (Illinois) has declared his intentions to form an exploratory committee for a possible run for the United States presidency in 2008. As a newly elected senator and no experience to rely on, it seems to me a bit premature. Obama, who is currently the darling of the political world has yet to be tested as to his abilities to be president or for that matter, a United States senator. His liabilities are painfully obvious as well.

My thinking is that he is smart enough to use his sudden popularity to his advantage. My prediction is that like any politician, he will milk the opportunity until reality collides with fantasy, fold his cards and wait for the 2012 deal. There's a difference between political phenomenon and a serious candidate.

Senator Hillary Clinton (New York) is expected to begin moving toward her goals for 2008. Ms. Clinton has the political muscle and experience to warrant a serious run for President in 2008, but may lack the charm needed to identify with voters. Her liabilities are also obvious.

Former Senator John Edwards (North Carolina) has established himself as a solid candidate for 2008.

Hmmm ! Let's see, we have race and sex as possible new political tools. Let's see what else we can throw in this pot......

The Pictures: (1)Clinton and Obama; (2) If you combine the idea, you have my personal choice; (3) What the hell, let's go all the way; (4) Bad idea!.............  (5) The last picture has nothing to do with today's pictures. It's just Benny..God bless you friend!

This Date In History: 1962; Chubby Checker tops the charts with "The Twist". 1977; Gary Gilmore becomes the first person executed by firing squad in Utah when the ban on capital punishment is lifted.

It's Wednesday and that means Karaoke Night at Krystel's Restaurant and Nightclub. Warm up your voices with happy hour from 4-7 p.m. (drinks 2 for 1) with Karaoke beginning at 6 p.m. Sing in English or Spanish (either way, preferably in tune, but not mandatory). I'll be taking roll and slight tardiness and/or late excuses from your Doctor, or anyone for that matter, is acceptable. Dress code is wear clothes! Nudity is not accepted (except some instances, which will be decided on a case by case basis).

Birthdays: Benjamin Franklin (1706), Al Capone (1899), Muhammed Ali (1942), Jim Carrey (1962).

Question Of The Day: Who's your presidential nominee (Democrat or Republican)  a) Hillary Clinton  b) John McCain c) Barack Obama d) John Edwards e) Kermit the frog

The winner of the question of the day receives a six pack of Budweiser and a velvet lily pad. Ribbit !

That's it for today my froggy little politicians. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, Entertainment, Krystel's Nightclub, Comedy, karaoke, Benny Parsons, frogs, warts, patriotic dogs, people who don't smoke and drink

Nascar Champion Benny Parsons Dies !

Benny Parsons, 1973 Nascar Champion, 1968-69 Arca Champion and ESPN, NBC and TNT commentator, died today from complications due to lung cancer. The ever popular "BP " entered the hospital in December 2006 due to the complications and succumbed to them today. Benny Parsons was 65 years old. He will be missed !

I would be remiss not to mention that Bobby Hamilton Sr. also died recently from neck and shoulder cancer. Bobby was 49 years old.

The Pictures: I scrambled to get as many pictures that I could to honor and remember Benny Parsons and Bobby Hamilton Jr.

Stay Tuned !

 

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, Benny Parsons, Bobby Hamilton Sr.

The Golden Globe Awards....Winners !

The 2007 Golden Globe Awards were presented last night. I was happy to see Forest Whitaker get the Best Actor award (Drama) for "The Last King Of Scotland" and Merryl Streep won the Best Actress award (Comedy / Musical) for "The Devil Wears Prada". Jennifer Hudson and Eddie Murphy won awards for Best Supporting Actress and Actor, respectively.

Whitaker was so suprised and tongue tied that I thought he would pass out, but his win was regarded as a "shoo-in". Martin Scorsese won Best Director for "The Departed" and Clint Eastwood won Best Director in the foreign language film category.

The Pictures: It took a while before these pictures were released, but here they are! Helen Mirren, The cast of "Dream Girls" and a little known starlet who is way a head go her time (pun intended).

This Date In History: 1547;  Ivan The Terrible is crowned the royal Tsar of Russia. 1919;  Prohibition, the legal ban on the manufacturing and sale of intoxicating beverages goes into effect. That sucked !  1961;  Mickey Mantle signs for $75,000.00 per year, highest in the American League. 1964;  Carol Channing debuts in "Hello Dolly" on Broadway.

Cuban Dictator Fidel Castro is in serious condition, according to the Spanish newspaper "El Pais". The source reports that Castro has had three failed surgeries on his large intestine for diverticulitis.

On another note, an elderly woman was at her husband's funeral and the funeral director said, "How old was your husband"? The old woman replied, "One year older than me"! The director said, "He was 96 then". The old lady replied, "hardly worth leaving here, isn't it"?

Birthdays: Ethel Merman, Broadway singing star  (1909),  Marilyn Horne, opera singer  (1934),  A.J. Foyt, auto racing champion (1935).

I have been fighting this computer all day to get it to run correctly. I pulled the cover off and the rats have plenty of food, the wheel doesn't need oil and all the D cell batteries are ok. It might be a little older than I thought.

Question Of The Day: Who was most deserving of their Golden Globe Award?  a) Helen Mirren b) Eddie Murphy c) George W. Bush d) Billie Clinton

The answer to todays question is : Billie Clinton, far and away the head of the class.

That's it for today my little Golden Globe winners. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, Entertainment, Krystel's Nightclub, Comedy, Golden Globe Awards, short people, cats, dogs, Nash Ramblers, peanut butter

Hey ! Everyone's Off Today !

So, you lost you lost your bets on the games yesterday, Huh? Today your wife want's you to do some yard work and then Bar-B-Cue for the kids. Your wife's parents are also coming over? Whoa! We have to come up with a plan!

You have to learn to plan ahead. For example, in your case you shouldn't have bet the games. That aside, always check you calendar every week to see what's up. Then, you tell you mother-in-law that your parents are cooking and that they want her and her husband to join them. Then you tell your parents that your in-laws are cooking and that they want to invite your parents, too.

Then, tell your wife about your parents Bar-B-Cue and that she should invite her parents. Once the confusion is at it's highest, tell you wife that you had made reservations for her and you to get away for the weekend to the Bahamas. You tell her your friend has a getaway in the Bahamas and you're invited. Sooner or later your wife will calculate a way to cancel your in-laws party and politely tell your parents of your wonderful surprise for her. Your parents cancel the party.

The next day early in the morning, wake up your wife to ask her out to breakfast. Have your friend call later and explain that his plane caught fire in it's hanger and he can't go to the Bahamas. Enjoy your breakfast with your wife, take her home and take care of business! Have a nice day !

Well, the pro football games were interesting yesterday. Both games were close and mistakes on both sides determined the outcomes. The Chicago Bears beat the Seattle Seahawks 27-24. The New England Patriots beat the San Diego Chargers 24-21.

The Pictures: Looks like everyone's doing Bar-B-Que today. If you're working today, Stop by Shorty's Bar-B-Que and get some. Mention my name and they'll overcharge you.

This Date In History: 1559;  Elizabeth the First was crowned Queen of England.  1892;  The 13 rules of basketball are published by Doctor Jaimes Naismith.  1967;  The Green Bay Packers win the first Super Bowl with the MVP award going to quarterback Bart Starr.

Birthdays: Gene Krupa, drummer (1909),  Lloyd Bridges, actor (1913),  Robert Byrd, senator (1929),  Martin Luther King (1929).

Question Of The Day: The best thing on telvision Monday night was:  a) The Golden Globe Awards  b)  Monday Night Football  c)  Three Men and a girl  d) Three and a half men e) Watching the TV Guide scroll

The winner of the question of the day will receive a 23 CD set of Joan and Melissa Rivers constantly numbing red carpet interviews and a 38 revolver.

That's it for today my little Monday loafers. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, Entertainment, Krystel's Nightclub, Comedy, football, loafers

It Seems Like Yesterday !

Today, in 1973, the Miami Dolphins became the first professional football team to go undefeated in a season and went on to win Super Bowl VII. What a season they had!

It just doesn't feel like it was 34 years ago. Damn, time flies when you're having a good time! I remember when I met my friend, Manny Fernandez. Everyone was out of their minds with happiness and Miami par-tay-ed!

The Chicago Bears defeated the Seattle Seahawks 27-24.  The New England Patriots defeated the San Diego Chargers 24-21.

In basketball, there's 10 people still running down court and ten running up the court. All games are tied and will be until 2 minutes to go. Here's some of the scores 23-23, 45-45 (half) 71-71 and a partial score, 53.

The Pictures: There are other things that remind you that you're getting old. Just be happy that you name's not in the obituaries.

This Date In History: 1954;  Marilyn Monroe marries Joe DiMaggio 1972; Redd Foxx stars in the premiere of Sanford and Son on NBC  1973; The Miami Dolphins go undefeated and on to winning Super Bowl VII.

Newsweek, in it's infinite wisdom, has acquired the final chapter of the O.J.Simpson book, "If I Did It". They report that the Simpson version follows closely to the court version of what happened. Simpson is reported to have written, "I know what happened and I can't tell you why". I am very surprised that Newsweek would stoop that low.

Birthdays: Benedict Arnold (1741), Faye Dunaway (1941)

Question Of The Day: If you had to choose an alternate profession to put on you resume, which of the following would you choose. a)Rabbi, specializing in circumcision  b)  ophthalmologist, specializing in fitting kosher eye ware on Rabbis. c) professional cheerleader currently working part time for an opthamolgist, who specializes in fitting kosher eye ware on Rabbis d) waitress, formerly  a male stripper, who after meeting a professional cheerleader who worked for an ophthalmologist part time and was convinced by her that he needed a circumcision.

The winner of today's question of the day can choose between a free circumcision or eyeglasses. If it it's a lady, then some of you can still choose between the circumcision or the eyeglasses and the other ladies can choose between the eyeglasses or watching the video of the Rabbi's circumcision.

And the prizes keep on coming !

That's it for today my little pass droppers. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

 

 

 

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, JimmysJournal, Entertainment, Krystel's Nightclub, Comedy, Miami Dolphins, Super Bowl,

Tags:

That's Not Right !

Have you ever said, "That's not right"? I decided to get some things done this morning and one of the things I wanted to do was pick up a few things at the supermarket. I decided to go to Presidente Supermarket because I was "jonesing" for some Cuban coffee. As I was parking the first thing that hit my mind was "what's wrong with this picture"? As I was walking to the door, a man said to me, "Tengo Calamari" ( I have squid).  I pretended I didn't speak Spanish, but I couldn't resist saying "a little injection of penicillin will clear that up".

Once inside the small store (compared to Publix), I realized I did not bring my reading glasses, thus eliminating any chance of browsing the "on sale" newspaper and saving some money.

The supermarket is also a social experience and people often chat in the aisles forcing one to push the cart through the store as if negotiating the turns while auto racing at the 24 Hours of Daytona or Le Mans. But sometimes there is an impasse and you wait a second hoping the ladies stop the chisme (gossip) for a second and let you pass. If it's good chisme, I just listen for a little.

After unloading my purchase into the car, I went to the cafe and had a cup of Cuban coffee. There they were! The same two ladies that were chismiando (gossiping) in the aisles. Since I had heard part one, I listened to part two until they noticed I was listening. I immediately went to plan "A" which is say something in English like, " excuse me sen-your-ritah, may I have another cup of coffee?". The ladies immediately returned to the gossip and I found out why Lissette is not going out with Juanito anymore. Works every time....I mean every time, and not only in the supermarket!

The Pictures: There comes a time when just before the crash you think, "That's not right"! My thanks to several contributors who sent me some new pictures to share with you, including my brother, Kirt.

This Date In History: 1930; the comic strip, Mickey Mouse, debuts in American newspapers. 

Friday at Krystel's Restaurant and Nightclub was a blast. My friend, Carrie, joined me for a little while and we couldn't stop laughing. We had several new faces there and everyone enjoyed listening to the sounds of Kenny, who is there every Friday from 6:00 to 10:00.

Birthdays: Horatio Alger (1832), Mike Tyson (1966)

I am sorry to hear that former Nascar champion, Benny Parsons, remains in intensive care, suffering from complications of his cancer treatment. Benny is one of the real good guys in racing  and I hope that he gets better soon!

Speaking of Nascar, speed weeks at Daytona International Speedway will soon be here (February) and I can't wait. Much more to come about Nascar when the 2007 season premieres in February.

Question Of The Day: Three women are outside the ice cream store eating their ice cream. Lady number one is eating her ice cream from a bowl with a spoon. Lady number two is having apple pie and ice cream. Lady number three is licking a Popsicle. Which one is married?

The answer is the lady wearing the wedding ring, but if you picked number 3, I like your way of thinking.

The winner of today's question of the day will receive a Popsicle.

That's it for today, my little coffee drinkers. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, Entertainment, Krystel's Nightclub, Comedy, Cuban coffee drinkers, Gossips, chismosas, aisle blockers, nosy men

Timing Is Everything !

It just dawned on me today that I really don't have set time to make my daily entry. This due to the fact that I never plan my day. I do not have an alarm clock or a wake up call. I do, however, have a cat. "Shithead" is really the main decision maker in my abode. If he feels that it's time to be fed, he just meows (cat speak for get up) until I start groping around for my gun and after not finding anything near that I can use to to eliminate the grating sound, I get up and then he stops making noise.

The other determining factor is if "Ralph" decides he wants to pee. This particular method is a slow, irritating concern that just keeps getting worse until between "Shithead" and "Ralph", I am forced to get out of bed and attend to business. Once that is done, everyone's goes back to sleep, except me!

So, I sit and try to think of what the plan of the day should be. I go to my "notes to self" area and read whatever little things that I wrote down the previous evening as a reminder. This is particularly difficult if I came in late from a party. The notes are usually unreadable and so I check my voice recorder on my cell phone and hear some asshole (me) leaving a garbled message which cannot be deciphered.

Bottom Line: I am just be happy that I am home and not in either the Dade County jail or in someone named Baby's apartment. The latter not really being a bad situation but often embarrassing as I usually do not quickly recall names and thus, "Baby".

So, that is why I do not timely make an entry. If this is particularly agitating, the safest time to read my entry is after 3:00 p.m. Thank you for your patience and understanding. You, too, will pass this particular time of life. You will know that your are in that time of your life, when you get up from your chair and go to the kitchen. When you arrive in the kitchen, you wonder why you are there!  From there, it goes downhill!

The Pictures: Have you ever done something and then, in retrospect, come to the conclusion that it was a bad idea. Well, George Bush hasn't had that experience, yet!

This Date In History: 1971;  All In The Family premieres. 1998; Carlos Santana becomes the first Hispanic to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Al fin !

The United States Embassy in Athens, Greece was hit today by an anti tank shell. No one was injured. Don't ya just hate assholes!

Birthdays: Tex Ritter, John's father, actor and singer (1905), Joe Frazier (1944).

Well, it's Friday!  I'm going to Krystel's Restaurant and Nightclub for happy hour. Kenny starts performing at 6:00. Happy Hour starts at 4:00 p.m and runs to 7:00 p.m. (Drinks 2 for one $7.00). Hope to see you there.

Question Of The Day: If a picture paints a thousand words, then why can't I paint yours?  a)  I don't know a thousand words  b)  My paint roller is broken  c)  This is a stupid question because pictures can't paint  d) Any of the above.

The winner of todays Question Of The Day receives a free vasectomy at Sears.

That's it for today my little disc jockeys. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, Entertainment, Krystel's Nightclub, Comedy, Animals, Pets, Senility, Reasons not to keep a gun on your nightstand

Ah, Georgie, I know You Like A Book !

President Bush has decided that it is necessary to increase the troop level in Iraq by 21,500 soldiers at a cost of 5.6 billion dollars!  I assume that Mr. Bush is aware of the current polls that show he is a majority of one with his position on Iraq. I also assume that he is aware ot the fact that his popularity is at an all time low for any president.

The answer to yesterday's question of the day was c).

The U.S. government has found "spy coins" from Canada that conceal technological spying  devices inside the coins.

The Pictures:  George Bush's approval rating on Iraq. I felt obligated to include the second photo of Mr. Bush taken after a recent party he attended.

This Date In History:  1861;  Alabama secedes from the Union. 1935;  Amelia Earhart makes her first solo flight from Hawaii to California.

Yvonne De Carlo, well known from her role as Lily Munster on "The Munsters",  died yesterday at the age of 84.

Birthdays: Stanley Tucci, director (1960),  Ben Crenshaw, PGA golfer (1952)

Question Of The Day: President Bush made his new Iraq policy decisions based on advice from; a) His national security advisors  b) His father  c) Rosie O'Donnell  d) All of the above

The winner of the question of the day receives tickets to the Ralph Kramden gala to be held at the Racoon Lodge.

That's it for today my little space cadets. More Tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, Entertainment, Krystel's Nightclub, Comedy

Mouth To Mouth ? or Do Not Resuscitate !

Well, What do you know? Yeah...it's the Rosie and The Trumpster show, still!! This is not really round 5, it's an epilogue to yesterday's remarks. According to Page Six, an Internet associate of the New York Post, Barbara Walters entered Rosie Fat Ass's dressing room the other day prior to air time and attempted to hug her. Rosie would not touch her. Witnesses said she said "you didn't call me for ten days and you didn't call Trump a liar". Representatives of the show said that everything was fine between the pair. If I was O'Donnell, I'd lay low for a while because she's biting off more than she can chew (If that was physically possible).

The Pictures: I received some new pic's today from my sweet little Martini. I call this one "Arizona Sunset".  I call it that because it's a picture of the Arizona desert at sunset. Pretty clever, huh? It's a little phallic in nature and I immediately recognized my small part of the picture (pun intended).

This Date In History: 1776;  English writer Thomas Paine publishes Common Sense.  1917; William "Buffalo Bill" Cody dies at age 70. 1949;  RCA announces production of it's new 7 inch, 45 rpm record.  1960;  Marty Robbins establishes a new record for his #1 hit, "El Paso", at 5 minutes, 19 seconds. (I bought the record).

Things started slowly last night at Krystel's Nightclub. I guess everyone hasn't gotten used to the Karaoke show change from Wednesday nights to Tuesday Nights. It soon picked up though. Jocko came limping in and  I learned that he flipped his car three time on the Palmetto yesterday. We had some new performers and the night turned out well.

Birthdays: Ray Bolger (1904), Willie McCovey (1938), Sal Mineo (1939)

Question Of The Day: The President's Speech This Evening:  Will President Bush;  a) Send more troops and spend more money b) Maintain the troop level and not increase funding c)  say newkular at least ten times. d) Not wake up from his nap in time to give the speech at 9:00.

That's it for today, my little chipmonks.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmys Journal, Entertainment, Krystel's Nightclub, Comedy

Florida 41 Ohio State 14 !

How do you like them apples? The sports press wrote off Florida, but I didn't. I just wish I would have bet the game (as I had every intention to do, but...). The game was a runaway! Ohio State could not do anything and Florida executed perfectly. A pleasure to watch if you're a Florida fan. I'm not a big Florida fan, but I'll take Florida over Ohio any day.

Rosie Vs The Trumpster - Part IV (cont): The fourth round came to an end last evening with The Trumpster weakly reiterating his position and saying he was misquoted. He said he called Rosie a "slob" and a "degenerate" (not Ellen), but not "fat". Replays showed he did call her a " fat ass". He also said Barbara Walters was lying when she said Trump's comments were untrue. Bottom line, I gave the round to Rosie 10-9.

So, after 4 completed rounds, I have the match scored 38-38. We'll see how round five goes. I'm hoping for a few more low blows in the next rounds to make the match more interesting. Both opponents have the ability to go for the throat and that's what I'm waiting for.

The Pictures: A view of her pretty face  for a change (There was no car to exit from). 

This Date In History:  1788; Connecticut is admitted to the union as the 5th State. 1951; The United Nations Headquarters opens. 1969; Joe Namath guarantees a win as the New York Jets beat The Baltimore Colts 16-7 in Super Bowl III

Karaoke returns tonight at Krystel's Restaurant and Nightclub: Note that it's tonight, not Wednesday night! Looking forward to seeing everyone there. I'll be taking names, so be there! Starts at 6 p.m. to 11 p.m. Happy Hour (2 for 1) starts a 4:00. Come on over at 4:00, drink a couple glasses of courage and sing your favorite song in English or Spanish.

Birthdays: Frederic Chopin (1810),  Gypsy Rose Lee (1914),  Joan Baez (1941),  Jimmy Page (1944).

Question Of The Day: What's your opinion of Rosie and The Trumpster? a) Their both idiots b) As the stomach turns c) Queen(s) for a day d) Butch and the Beast e) All of the above.

That's the Scoop. More Tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmys Journal, Entertainment, Krystel's Restaurant and Nightclub, Comedy, Artists, Carlos Oliva, Los Sobrinos Del Juez,

Rosie Vs The Trumpster - Part IV

Round #4:  Well, Rosie is back from "vacation" and comes out of her corner with a vicious 1-2 to the Donald.  Rosie, well rested and obviously well fed, said that The Trumpster is "obsessed with me" and  is a "comb over bunny".  She also said that her "weight problem" was obvious and was a low blow. Fortunately for The Trumpster, his low blow was blocked from the referee's vision by Rosie's fat ass and no foul was called.

 If you recall, in round #3, The Trumpster delivered several good shots at Rosie, calling her a "loser", "fat" and "low morals." I gave the first round to Rosie, (10-9) by virtue of her "comb over" remark and her own "how can he be a judge of moral character" shots.  I gave the second round to The Trumpster  (10-9) and I also gave the third round to The Trumpster (10-9). So after three rounds, I have the fight scored 29-28, Donald Trump.

This fourth round is looking good for Rosie because the Trumpster has yet to respond. We'll see! My unofficial scorecard will be updated at the end of the round and reflected in tomorrow's entry.

The Pictures: Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump, two people, who by themselves, are arrogant, obnoxious, and bottom feeders. As a duo, they become amusing, because everyone likes to see two assholes beat up on each other. Sort of like the Iran and Iraq war.

Elvis Presley, The undisputed king of rock and roll, has his birthday today. He will not be attending the party as he is dead!

This Date In History: 1815: The Battle of New Orleans was fought, which prompted Johhny Horton to record "The Battle of New Orleans". Mayor Ray Nagin served "Chocolate" to all the members of the band.

Hello "Sweets", hope you're reading the journal today. It's you fault I got started so late today. XOXOX

Birthdays: Elvis Presley (1935),  David Bowie (1947)

Questions Of The Day:  Who will win the college championship tonight? a)Florida b) Ohio State .  Who will win the media fight: a) Rosie fat ass  or b)Donald "Comb Over" Trump.  Enter your predictions under add your own comments. The winner gets to pay for an all expense trip to the Opa Locka  "Ali Baba" parade to be held this year.

 

That's the deal, Neil. More tomorrow.

 

Stay Tuned !

 

Tags: Jimmys Journal, Entertainment, Krystels Restaurant and Nightclub, Comedy, Artists, Performers, Rosie, Trump

It's A Lazy Sunday !

It's a lazy Sunday afternoon and to be quite frank I haven't done squat! The game between the New England Pat's and the New York Jets just ended.  It was no contest as the Patriots won easily 37-16.  I try to turn off the halftime and post game reports because Shannon Sharpe speaks worse that O. J. Simpson and I really don't understand half the shit he says. (zippity doo dah)

The Seahawks beat the Cowboys yesterday 21-20. It was a good game and the Cowboys should have won, but they fumbled what would have been a "gimmie" field goal and the Seahawks recovered the ball. I felt sorry for the holder. He usually has good hands, but he just blew it.

I am happy, however, that the Cowboys lost because I can't stand Terrell Owens or the "Tuna" (head coach).

The Pictures: The pic describes my total attitude for today. Please notice that the young lad is appropriately covered (unlike Brittany).

This Date In History: 1913; The process to obtain gasoline from crude oil is patented. 1953; United States President Harry S. Truman announces the development of the Hydrogen Bomb. In retrospect, he should have immediately used it wiped out the Middle East.

My Friend, Beverly, emailed me today. I haven't spoken to her in a while. It was nice to hear from her.

Birthdays: Oddly enough, unless today is your birthday, there are no significant birthdays today.

Question Of The Day: Ohio State of Florida?

That is it for today. Sorry about the brevity, but "nuff said"

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmys Journal, Entertainment, Krystels Restaurant and Nightclub, Comedy, Artists, Performers,

It's Three Kings Day

Today's Three Kings Day. My friend, Marc, said to put a box of good grass (Yerba buena) under my bed at night so that I might receive gifts from the Three Kings. So, I got my good grass box to put under my bed, but it turns out that I had already smoked it.

I also remember the date because a few years ago, I won Texas hold-em poker pot with three kings. Suweet!

The Pictures: It's only January 6th and I'm already getting calls from bill collectors.

This Date In History: 1535;  Spanish Conquistador Francisco Pizarro founds Los Reyes De Lima (Lima, Peru).  1912;  New Mexico is admitted into the Union as the 45th State.

Good to see Jorge, Manny, and Roberto at Krystel's Restaurant and Nightclub last night. I haven't seen them in a while and it was nice to see them again. Roberto sang "Sabor A Mi" and did a fine rendition. Remember that Karaoke has been changed to Tuesdays starting at 6:00 p.m. Happy hour is 4:00-7:00 p.m. and drinks are two for one, soooo....come on over!

If you click my You Tube link, you can see Jorge L. and Jenny dancing at Krystel's on new year's eve. You can also catch Carmen's birthday dance on the site, along with Possum S. Hemmingway, my cat.

Birthdays: Carl Sandberg, poet and biographer (1878), Nancy Lopez, PGA golfer (1957).

Question Of The Day: Who will win the Monday College Championship game? a) Ohio State b) Florida   c) depends on the point spread and successfully contacting my bookie.

That's it for today........more tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

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