Without a doubt, everyone has managed a way to stay home from school or call in sick to work, at least once in their lifetime. There is one television show that everyone has seen at least once on those particular days. That television show is "The Price Is Right".
This game show, hosted by Bob Barker, is probably the first time that you realized that you talk to yourself and to the television too. You know you do !
Starting with that famous cry, "Murray Goldstein, Come On Down! You're The Next Contestant on The Price Is Right !" And come down he did, a 110 year old man, wearing a yellow shirt with the obligatory "Best Buy" name tag and blue Bermuda shorts. Murray walks so slowly down the aisle that the pages are taking bets as to whether he will make it or have a coronary.
Murray finally arrives in contestant's row, which is already occupied by Gladys, a heavy Hispanic woman with huge breasts, Staci, a beautiful blonde "college coed" with the IQ of a frog, and Joe, the construction worker sporting a plethora of unsightly tattoos and resembles someone you either know or have seen on adult videos.
Barker's Beauties show the next prize to be bid on, which is a "a new electric floor mop", to which the contestants jump and scream for joy at such a wonderful prize. And the bidding begins.
Murray bids $150. Gladys, who has to look to the audience for a hint because evidently she has never purchased an electric floor mop before, bids $200. The sly Joe, who has fallen in love with the lovely Staci, bids $201. It's now Staci's bid.
This is when you start talking to yourself and the television. "$202 ! $202!", you cry out. Staci smiles and says "$1,000" and begins to jump up and down, satisfied with her bid. You cry out loudly, "you're a dumb ass, Staci !" and Joe wins the prize.
The games begin ! The mountain climber, the tic-tac-toe game, the dice game, three strikes, and the one we all wait for....., Plinko !
Contestants come and go and it's time for the Big Wheel, which weighs 37,000 pounds. Two contestants have their spin and then Murray attempts to spin the wheel and almost is sucked under the wheel. Bob Barker helps him and then it's on to the Showcase Showdown.
You guessed it..., it's Murray and Staci, who gets to bid or pass on the first Showcase. The first Showcase is a Cadillac, $10,000 in cash, a new boat, and cruise around the world. Staci blankly stares to her fellow "college coeds" in the audience and in one painful instant, passes the showcase to Murray.
Now you have left your chair screaming at the blonde bimbo for passing the best prize, because you know very well that at least one showcase has to have a living room group, carpeting, a hammer and a year's supply of Exlax. Murray grasps his heart, overbids by $200,000 and Staci wins her showcase. Bob Barker gets her phone number.
Remember folks, always have some of your friends spayed or neutered !The Pictures: Shots from "The Price Is Right."
This Date In History: 1652; Cape Town in South Africa is founded by Jan van Riebeck as a supply post for the Dutch East India Company. 1973: Spanish Painter and sculptor Pablo Picasso dies in his villa in France at age 91. 1974; In Atlanta, Georgia, baseball great Hank Aaron hits his 715th career home run breaking the record previously held by Babe Ruth.
Birthdays: Buddha, founder of Buddhism (563 BC), Mary Pickford, actor and motion-picture producer, nicknamed "America's Sweatheart" (1893), Sonja Henie, ice skater and actress (1912), Jim "Catfish" Hunter, professional baseball player (1946).
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: I get a lot of jokes from my pals on a daily basis and I thought I'd share a few with you.
From Anne: Judge to prostitute, "..and when did you realize that you had been raped?" Prostitute, "When the check bounced!"
From Gipsy: Question; "Hillary and Obama were riding in a boat going down the river. The boat capsized. Who was saved?" Answer; "America!"
From Jackie: Question; "What can a bird do that man cannot?" Answer; "Whistle through his pecker."
From Garnett: Question; "Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?" Answer; "Because every Mexican that can run, jump or swim is already in the United States."
From Vivian: "God gave me two choices...I could either have a great memory or be great in bed.... Shit ! Now I forgot what I was going to tell you...."
From my Perfect Martini: First man, "My wife's an angel!" Second Man, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
From brother Kirt: The next time you're on a plane and someone is annoying you, try this; 1) Quietly open your laptop. 2) Make sure the person who is annoying you can see the screen. 3) Close your eyes, tilt your head up to the sky and move your lips as if you are praying.
That's it for today my little cotton pickers. More tomorrow.
Stay Tuned !
Tags: Jimmy's Journal, JimSulliv3, AREA 51, pshemmingway, Jimmys-MySpace, ham and cheese, Jimmys Journal, My Perfect Martini, Jimmys Pictures, Stay Tuned, ham and eggs, Possums journal, The Price is Right, Bob Barker