Monday, April 28, 2008

Hot Flashes or How I Stopped Worrying About News Flashes

The media has been steadily aggravating me with their biased and slanted version of the news and frankly, it's time to start reacting to their inflated egos and commentary. Their motto seems to be "We are the media and we'll tell you what's going on"

Well, guess what! I speak three languages and have a very intimate knowledge of the English language. I have the ability to think for myself, listen to a speaker, comprehend the message and ascertain the direction of the speech. It is not necessary for some condescending asshole to paraphrase or explain to me what I heard.

In the Pennsylvania elections, Hillary Clinton won by ten points over Barack Obama and the media said that she still lost. Barack Obama leads the elections in delegates and the popular vote and the media says that he can't close the deal. Are we using the same glasses and the same hearing aid?

The media, like attorneys and the lawmakers in Washington, D.C., propagate and fuel their own existence. When political fires start burning low, they simply add fuel to the fire. The elections are a political process and the game isn't over until the fat lady sings.

The media is and has been biased in their views. Their ability to influence the public and manipulate the news for their own gains is becoming quite dangerous. They are the deliverers of the news, not the makers of the news, and it's time that they take the proper moral responsibility for their remarks and commentaries (Shall I remove the soapbox? Yes.).

Friday Night: My sojourn into AREA 51 started out at Lakes Cafe and Pub with my pal, Emilio. Owners Richard and Danny had a packed house and the karaoke show was going strong when we arrived around 10:00 p.m. I saw my pal Carole there and we sang "You've Got A Friend" by "Sweet Baby James" Taylor. When Lakes Cafe started slowing down, we headed over to the "Billiards Club" for a nightcap and I made it home by around 2:00 a.m.

The Cat's Ass Trophy: There was only one nominee for last week's CAT Award and that was actor Wesley Snipes, nominated by Garnett. Snipes was convicted last of income tax evasion and will be spending the next three years of his acting career in prison.

Mr. Snipes undoubtedly will lose his disdain of paying taxes over the next three years as well as the possible loss of other more intimate areas should his bunkmate be the notorious "Bubba" of jailhouse fame. We all have to pay taxes Mr. Snipes and you are no exception to the rule.

Therefore, the CAT Award and congratulations go to Wesley Snipes for his complete disregard for the laws of the land and income tax evasion. Way to set an example, Wes! You 'da man !

Odds And Ends: The stage is being set early for this week's CAT Award beginning with the 73 year old Austrian man, already nominated by Linda, that has been arrested for incest and imprisonment of his daughter for the past 24 years... Rev Jeremiah Wright is back in the news showing his disdain and contempt for anyone who dislikes his attitude and views. This asshole completely represents why thinking in terms of black and white will never come to be... Gasoline prices rose again today to an all-time high (until tomorrow). The idea of food prices rising will possibly be the next step towards confrontation and actual conflict with the oil producing nations, especially the middle east.

The Pictures: Tattoos, the whys and why nots. Some hopefully amusing photoshoped pictures may help you decide. I have some other interesting pics, mostly single entries, including watermelon art and some shots of something really neat. Unfortunately, I have completely forgotten it's category or where I put it. If you see additional pictures, that's them. If not, now you know why. 

This Date In History: 1789; Fletcher Christian led a mutiny on the British ship Bounty. Captain William Bligh and 18 loyalcrew members were set adrift on a small boat. 1945: Benito Mussolini, Italian fascist dictator, is shot by the Italian Resistance in Dongo, Italy. His mistress, Clara Petacci, and members of his entourage are also shot. 1960; French president Charles de Gaulle resigns after his proposals for constitution reforms are defeated in a national referendum. 1967; World heavyweight champion Muhammed Ali refuses induction into the U.S. Army for religious reasons. He is later convicted of draft evasion.

Birthdays: James Monroe, 5th president of the United States (1758), Lionel Barrymore, actor (1878), James Baker, U.S. secretary of state (1930), Jay Leno, Tonight Show television host (1950).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: The

A Somalian man arrives in New York City as a new immigrant. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, You Americans have a wonderful country." The passerby says, " You are mistaken, I am an Arab from the Middle East."

He stops the next person he sees and says, "I want to thank you Americans for allowing me to come to your country."  The man replies, "I am not American, I am an African-American."

He sees a man approaching and he greets him with, "I want to thank you Americans for housing, food stamps, free education and welfare to help me." The man says, " I am not American, I am Mexican." He asks the man, "Where are all the Americans?" The Mexican looks at his watch and says, "Probably at work."

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, racing rapidly around the nursing home. The poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, so the other residents tolerated her antics and some of them actually joined in.

One day, Ethel was speeding down the corridor when a door opened and out stepped Kooky Clarence. He raised his hand and said, "Halt ! Do you have license to drive that thing?" Ethel reached into her pocket, pulled out the daily menu and handed it to Clarence. He said, "Very well, ma'am, you can go."

When she sped around the corner near the television lounge, out jumped weird Harold and said, "Stop ! Do you have proof of insurance?" Ethel reached into her pocket and handed the menu to Harold. He said, "OK, you may proceed."

As she raced toward her room, Horny Howard stepped in front of her, butt naked, with what was left of his manhood in his hand.  Ethel yelled, "Not that damned breathalyzer test again!"

That's it for today my little turnip greens. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !


bamawmn46 said...

I have never met a tatoo I wanted to live with for the rest of my life!!

Congrats to W. Snipes for his ability to try to outwit the IRS and then, winning the CAT award! Way to go, Snipes!!

Have a good one, JImmy!!

luvrte66 said...

I try to get my news from various sources, including TV, news mags, and online. If you find a balance of sources, and have the smarts to separate the wheat from the chaff, you can usually find a good balance.

It can vary from town to town as well. In our neck of the woods, South Bend is a traditionally Democratic city, while Elkhart, a mere 15 miles or so away, is staunchly Republican. It can make for some craziness, and for some lively conversation!

Glad you had a good weekend!


garnett109 said...

this week i'm picking Tricia Walsh - Smith for the cats ass award, she is a gold digger airing her divorce woes on you tube!
I sent you an e-mail about it.
Thanks Jim.

nhd106 said...

Nice drawing!   And was that photo really you?  Or am I being gullible again?


lsfp1960 said...

Ahhh good you posted your teeny bopper picture !  Wow, Jimmy you are really worked up today.  But that's ok, we all have to get it off our chest once in awhile.  And I agree with you 100%.  Regular unleaded is $3.71.9 at the Shell station just a few blocks from my house.  Got gas there last Tuesday and it was $3.65.9 Hmmmm my Social Security didn't go up in the last week.   Tomorrow is "tricky Tuesday" so be on guard.  Linda in WA  

badge9408 said...

Enjoyed the pics of the tats, nice laugh too from the jkes, for a moment there I thought I was looking at "James Dean" on the beach,!


shrbrisc said...

I agree , you know what they say the oil man loves the reporters and experts because they freak out the public with ridicules ideas and the oil man reaps the profits .fear and speculation is why we are where we are .

lanurseprn said...

I completely agree with you on the media. I can't stand them!  

Love the picture of you! were cute! Much more handsome NOW of course!
Glad you had fun in Area 51! I don't know how you keep those hours! I am so ready for bed by 10pm! LOL!  God..what will I be like in 10 years?? LOL!
Have a good night..
Love, Pam xoxox

midwestvintage said...

 Cute picture of you Jimmy, were you driving that mad car?  Love the watermelon and the jokes were wonderful.


fowfies said...

Cool picture Jimmy, like that hot rod your on too. ;) As always, good jokes and an entertaining entry. I really enjoy coming here to see what you have up next. :) Kelly