Memorial Day

Happy Memorial Day to all of you and especially our men and women in the armed forces, past and present, who have protected the security and safety of the United Sates of America.

The Indianapolis 500 winner was Scott Dixon, whose luck finally turned around Sunday. Dixon lost the IRL championship last year on the last turn of the last lap of the last race. There were several potential winners in the field, including Vitor Meira and Marco Andretti, who finished second and third, respectfully. Front runner's included Tony Kanan, Dan Wheldon and Danica Patrick. all of whom either crashed or had mechanical problems.

Patrick was taken out in the pit lane by a bonehead move from Ryan Briscoe, who lost control of his car exiting pit lane and hitting Patrick. None too pleased by the move, Patrick was quickly out of her car and walking toward the pit of Briscoe for a little tete-a-tete when officials stopped her. She's a small woman, but with the look she had on her face as she approached Briscoe's pit, I'm relatively sure she meant business!

Kanan was "taken out" by Marco Andretti, who, according to the "experts", forced Kanan into the wall. As I saw it, Kanan left the inside open and Andretti filled the spot. It may be Indy protocol not to "dive-bomb" for the inside at such speeds, but I feel Kanan should have been able to continue on the outside, through the turn, without losing control.

Sadly, after the initial hit, Kanan came off the wall and into the path of Sarah Fisher, eliminating her from the race. Understandably, Fisher was in tears after the incident, mainly due to the fact that her sponsor for the year never delivered the funds that were contractually agreed to, leaving her in dire financial straits for Indy and ostensibly, for the rest of the season.

The Charlotte 600 was a wild event and the final laps were a series of accidents and blunders. At the checkered flag, Kasey Kane was the victor after a 52 week drought from winner's circle. Greg Biffle, Kyle Busch, Jeff Gordon and Dale Earnhardt Jr rounded out the top five.

Earnhardt, along with Stewart and Busch, ran extremely well during the race and there were a multitude of other front runners who left the final outcome in doubt. Earnhardt led quite a few laps until a tire leak forced him to brush the wall. His car didn't seem to be severely damaged until J.J. Yeley crashed into him from behind, a stupid move that even Stevie Wonder could have avoided.

Tony Stewart seemed to have the race won until a slow leak developed with three laps to go. His tire eventually went down, forcing Stewart to pit and effectively handing the race to Kahne. All of the top five, along with Stewart, early leader Kurt Busch and a few others all drove smart races. Stewart, Earnhardt and Kahne were the class of the field.

Barack Obama Lama-Ding-Dong, thought by many to be the second coming of Christ, is a Harvard graduate. Some democrats want him to be be president. It's uncertain who will be president, but whoever he or she will be, my hopes are that history, geography and mathematics will be one of their fortitudes. The mind is a terrible thing to waste.....

                      

I'm not adverse to Mr. Obama being president. I feel with speeches like these, he'll be a credit to his followers.

The Cats Ass Trophy, ironically, had no nominees until this weekend when....

Jude nominated Hillary Clinton, who, when asked why she was dragging out the democratic presidential race, stated that Bill Clinton did not secure the nomination until June and then stupidly referred to the assassination of Bobby Kennedy in 1968. Then.......

Garnett nominated Barack Obama, a Harvard graduate, for his uncanny skill in determining the total number of states in America. Perhaps he was counting united states and un-united states.

It's amazes me that just when you think it's safe to back into the gene pool, you realize you need to give the two democratic presidential candidates another mental enema. Imagine my disappointment that all that John McCain could come up with was disassociate himself with another one of our religious(?) leaders.

Being an equal opportunity judge, I, along with my cat and co-judge, Shithead have voted to give the CAT Award to all three candidates. Like many other contests in J-Land, since it's my game, I decide who gets the award whether it is merited or not. Congratulations to candidates Obama, Clinton and McCain.

The Pictures: The Indianapolis 500 and the Charlotte 600 winners and highlights. In addition, 1+1=2, are you one? Ok, there's a few "others".

This Date In History: 1868; The impeachment trial of U.S. President Andrew Johnson ends. The Senate fall one vote short of the two-thirds majority needed to convict him of high crimes and misdemeanors. 1896; The Wall Street Journal begins publishing the Dow Jones Industrial Average. 1972; Richard Nixon, the first U.S. president to visit the Soviet Union, signs a peace treaty limiting antiballistic missile sites. 1998; The U.S. Supreme Court rules that most of Ellis Island, former gateway for immigrants to America and now a museum, belongs to New Jersey, not New York.

Birthdays: Dorothea Lange, photographer (1895), Al Jolson, actor and singer who starred in the Jazz Singer, the first motion picture with synchronized sound (1886), John Wayne, actor (1907), Robert Morley, actor (1908), Sally Ride, astronaut (1951).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: The

During a rock climbing expedition, an accident occurred as some of the grappling hooks holding the climbers, gave way. This left six climbers clinging precariously to the swinging rope suspended from the mountain. Five of the women were blonde and one was a brunette.

As a group, they decided that one of the party should let go. If that did not happen, the weight on the rope would cause more of the hooks to give way and everyone would perish.

For an agonizing few moments, no one volunteered. Finally, the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others. All five blondes applauded.

The young man at the bar spotted an older woman and sent her a drink. The woman smiled and invited the young man to join her. As things progressed the subject of intimacy came up and the woman asked the man if he was interested in meeting her at her apartment.

The woman said, " I don't want you to be intimidated, but I want you to know that having sex with me will be just like taking a SAT test. Be there on time, do the best you can and when I say 'time's up' put your little pencil down."

That's it for today my little chicken pluckers. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

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