Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Why Is Wednesday Pronounced Winzday?

I've been patiently waiting for today and it's Hump Day, at last ! I chilled Monday and Tuesday, but two days of watching grass grow gets old. I'm getting stir crazy and I need to socialize somewhere. I'm not sure where my AREA 51 location will be tonight but you can bet your sweet bippy (did he say "bippy"?) it won't be at home, unless......

But, I digress ! I'm going to try and take some pictures with my cell phone tonight and I might even shoot a video or two. Either way, I always try to take my pictures early because the later into the night it gets, the more my pal, Johnny Walker Black, tries to screw them up (did he say "screw them up"?).

The West Virginia Democratic Primary was a landslide victory for Hillary Clinton, handily beating Barack Obama with 67% of the vote. It will be interesting to see if Hillary holds out all the way to the convention, although it's looking rather bleak right now. One never knows, do one?

Barry Bonds re-indicted and charges increased to 14 counts of perjury and lying under oath in his testimony about alleged use of steroids. He was originally charged with 5 counts. Although the charges do not carry any additional years, the chances of conviction are increased.

The Pictures: I found a few celebrity auto tags that might interest you along with a little game I like to call cowboys and politicians.

This Date In History: 1796; British physician Edward Jenner tests the first smallpox vaccine on an eight-year-old boy. 1904; The United States host its first Olympics in St. Louis, Missouri. 1948; Israel is proclaimed an independent state and is declared open to Jewish immigration. 1955; The Warsaw Pact is signed by seven European nations, including the Soviet Union, creating an alliance in opposition to NATO. 1973; The National Aeronautics Administration (NASA) launches Skylab, the first American space station.

Birthdays: Gabriel Daniel Fahrenheit, physicist (1686), Thomas Gainsborough, painter (1727), Sidney Bechet, jazz musician (1897), George Lucas, American motion-picture producer and director, known for the Star War movies and Raiders of the Lost Ark (1944).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Three nuns, in their church living quarters on a hot day, decide to remove their robes because of the heat. Not an unusual habit on a hot day. So about a half hour later, the door bell rings while their robes are slumped over pews clear across the huge chapel.

They ask who it is. "The blind man," a voice replies.

The three nuns decide to simply open the door because the man is blind. He walks in, looks at the nuns and says, "Nice tits! Where do you want me to install these blinds?"

A husband and wife attend a small service at the local church one Sunday morning. The man was very moved by the preacher's sermon, so he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. Reverend, that was the best damn sermon I ever did hear!" The Reverend replied, "Oh! Why, thank you sir, but please, I'd appreciate it if you didn't use profanity in the Lord's house."

"I'm sorry Reverend, but I can't help myself... it was such a damn good sermon!" The Reverend replied, "Sir, please, I cannot have you behaving this way in Church!" "Okay Reverend, but I just wanted you to know that I thought it was so damn good, that I put $5,000 in the collection plate." The Reverend's eyes opened wide as he remarked, "No Shit!"

A very loud woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'

The woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no they ain't! The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'

'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,' replied the greeter. 'I just couldn't believe someone would sleep with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'

That's it for today my little ice cream cones. More Tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !


pm71blackfen said...

LOVED that last joke!!

Keep 'em coming! ~~Pat

luvrte66 said...

Have fun tonight!


robinngabster said...

Do we really care if Barry Bonds or any other athlete takes steroids?  Hell all I care about is seeing a good game.   :)

lsfp1960 said...

How could you insult the memory of  Dale Evans by putting Billary's face on what looks like her body?  Off to the naughty corner for you!  I want to hear what Ralph Nader has to come none of the top candidates will debate him?   I'm hoping you get home before the paper boy shows up.   Linda in WA

midwestvintage said...

Loved the last joke and I agree, poor Dale Even's


mpnaz58 said...

TWO days of staying home??  That should tie you over for the next 5 years!!  Hey, sometimes the body needs the rest :)
xoxo ~Myra

badge9408 said...

Always enjoy stopping by, enjoyed the jokes and loved the pictures!!!!   ; - )


garnett109 said...

Now I ask you ,  What in the hell is a sweet bippy?
Do they make sour bippies too?

shrbrisc said...

lmao enjoy your night I loved the last joke the best .

jmorancoyle said...

    I've heard the one about the blind man before. That one about the WalMart greeter is good.