Today is election day in Indiana and North Carolina and I know that's very important, it's just that I can't take it any more and since neither Billary nor Obama-Lama-Ding-Dong are qualified to even head a boy scout troop, let's call the whole thing off or write the score to a Broadway musical, whichever comes first.
I'm feeling a bit frisky today and I have no idea why. I haven't slept well for two days and I think it's catching up with me. It started yesterday when I went to the bank and realized that they leave the front doors wide open and chain the pens to the counter. Then, I got hungry and I stopped by Publix to buy hot dogs. Why do they sell hot dogs in packs of ten and hot dog buns in packs of eight?
And I think I'm going out of my head thinking that time flies when you're having a good time but fruit flies like a banana. Is it just me or am I the only one who has ever entered my ATM password in the microwave? Why does a slight tax increase cost you 200 dollars and a substantial cut save you 30 cents?
Then I began to see what was happening to me. I'm changing...., there's something happening...., my thoughts are wandering.... I think, 'Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.' My thoughts deepen.... A lot of people are like Slinkys, not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
I had a meaningful conversation with my toaster. Today, I saw a migrating flock of ducks and the only reason that I didn't follow them was my attachment to the toaster. It's just that I started out with nothing and I still have most of it. Everyone seems to think that I'm becoming psychotic except for my friends deep down inside the earth. I think I'll just plead contemporary insanity.
What's going on with my body and mind? Why am I thinking like this? I may need your help. All I know is that this is the last day that I will be like this. Starting tomorrow, things will change !
The Pictures: Obama versus Rev Jeremiah Wright - Has it come to this? Is the rift turning into a grudge match? One never knows, do one? And then there's China... and Bush... a new gas icon... ah yes. the light at the end of the tunnel?
This Date In History: 1626; Dutch settler Peter Minuit (his wife called him Peter Minute, but she had a stigmatism) allegedly purchases what is now New York's Manhattan Island from Native Americans for goods worth $24. 1915; In New York City, a left-handed pitcher for the Boston Red Sox named Babe Ruth hits his first home run in major league baseball. He later becomes an outfielder. 1937 The German dirigible Hindenberg, the largest airship ever built, burst into flames upon landing in New Jersey killing 36 passengers and crew. 1954; British athlete Roger Bannister is the first person to run a mile under four minutes. 1994; The Channel Tunnel linking England to France officially opens and is hailed as one of the century's greatest feats of civilengineering.
Birthdays: Sigmund Freud, physician and psychologist (1856), Robert Peary, explorer (1856), Rudolph Valentino, Italian-born motion-picture actor (1895), Orson Welles, film actor, producer, director andwriter (1915), Willie Mays, professional baseball player (1931).
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Authors Note; The jokes are a little bawdy today, so read on at your own risk. You realize, of course, that if you read the jokes, you're running the risk of peeing your pant(ie)s, so...
Barack Obama is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy on the corner with a box. Curious, he runs over to the child and says, "What's in the box, kid?" The little boy says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens." Obama laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?" The child says, "Democrats." Obama says, Oh, that's cute," and he runs off.
A couple of days later, Obama is running with his buddy, Rev Jeremiah Wright and he spies the same boy with his box just ahead. Obama says to Wright, "You gotta check this out," and they both jog over to the boy with the box. Obama says, "Look in the box Rev, isn't that cute? Look at those little kittens. Hey, kid, tell my friend Rev Wright what kind of kittens they are." The boy replies, "They're Republicans."
Obama says, "I came by here the other day and you said they were Democrats. What's up?" The kid says, "Their eyes are open now."
A soldier was given the job of hunting for buffalo. To help him, he hired an Indian scout. The two of them set off on their journey to find buffalo. After riding awhile, the Indian gets off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says "Humm, buffalo come". The soldier scans the area with his binoculars, but sees nothing. He is confused and says to the Indian, "I do not see anything, how do you know buffalo come"? The Indian replies, "Ear sticky".
That's it for today my little katydidn'ts. More tomorrow.
Stay Tuned !