Tuesday, May 27, 2008

They Call It Stormy Monday But Tuesday's Just As Bad

Tuesday gets the black hat for this week as Monday was promoted in status to be the finale of the Memorial Day weekend. So it's "Tenacious Tuesday" ( pronounced two's-day for the hard of understanding and Dubya Bush) the stepping stone to Hump Day.

Big Brown, winner of the first two legs of the Triple Crown has suffered a cracked hoof. Friday, after exercising, trainers discovered a three-quarter inch crack on the inside of his left food. The crack was stitched with stainless steel wire on Monday and the colt was exercising on the track today. Trainers feel that the colt will not be affected by the crack and still plan to run him in the Belmont Stakes on June 7th.

I'm beginning to realize that growing older can be fun if you just have the right attitude. My Perfect Martini reminded me that there are even more fun games that we can play. Some of my favorites are; 1) Sag, you're it 2) Hide and go pee 3) Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says bend over 4) Simon says something incoherent.

She also reminded me that fortune and luck are still a big part of life although the rewards are a bit different. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. An all-nighter means not having to get up to pee. Getting a little action means you don't need fiber today. Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of her face.

See ? This journal is not all fluff. We offer information and public services, as well. All in all, brain cells come and go, but fat cells lives forever.

On CNN today, they aired a Canadian video of a street monkey who stole a semi truck and threatened to use it to blow up a bridge. When they cornered him, as usual, the idiot bolted and ran. In the USA, there would always be the possibility of escape. In Canada, it's legal to use whatever means that is necessary, and they ran his ass over. I't doesn't get much better than that !

Then there's the story about the blonde who entered the library........


The Pictures: Today's photographs are beautiful butterflies. I'm always surprised at the intricacy of their colors and how fragile they are. When you see them flying, they seem to have no apparent destination but sooner or later they land and do whatever butterflies do. I used to date a girl like that with the same agenda.

This Date In History: 1647; The first recorded execution of a witch in America takes place in Massachusetts. 1637; The Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco opens. At the time of completion it is the longest suspension bridge in existence. 1994; Nobel Prize-winning author Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn returns to live in his native Russia after 20 years in exile.

Birthdays: Julia Ward Howe, author and reformer (1819), Wild Bill Hickcock, frontiersman, marksman and law enforcement officer (1837), Hubert Humphrey, vice president of the United States (1911), Henry Kissinger, first foreign-born citizen to be secretary of state (1923).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: If you know me, you know how I feel about politicians and attorneys. Here's a Q&A to help you further understand how I really feel.

Q.How can you tell a lawyer is lying?
A. Other lawyers look interested.

Q. What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A. You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
Q. If you drop a snake and an attorney off a building, which one hits first?
A. Who cares?
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A. Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points.
A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer looked over to the driver, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting.
The trooper slowed and yelled to the driver, "Pull Over!" The blonde smiled and yelled back, "No, it's a scarf."
That's it for today my little gerbils. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !


ma24179 said...

I have so much to look forward to as I get older! :sarcasm: lol... Have a great evening. -Missy http://journals.aol.com/ma24179/MISSYZSTUFF

pm71blackfen said...

Hmm, I'll have to try that 'going bra-less'...when I get a little older of course and start to get wrinkles!  The all-nighter sounds good too!  Pat


garnett109 said...

Lmao at the blonde

garnett109 said...

Lmao at the blonde

luvrte66 said...

Loved the lawyer jokes--I feel the same way! Of course, like "they" say, you tend to dislike every lawyer...except your own!


nhd106 said...

Stunning butterflies...
Oh, and you have a theme!!    Are you ok??


shrbrisc said...

lmao I loved the jokes and I love your page a day like today it is all that makes me smile sometimes .. I am feeling better now thank you and tuesday is horrible this week but it is almost over and I have 3 more days to go lol

lsfp1960 said...

LOL !  Another great educational experience !    Linda up here in the great state of WA

jmorancoyle said...

    Q. What is it called when there is 50 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
    A. A start. Or a very polluted ocean.