Priorities

One would assume that a family traveling on vacation from Tel Aviv to Paris would make a checklist in preparation for their trip. One would further assume that one would have one's passport ready, liquids and lotions stored, duty free purchases and receipts at the ready, eighteen suitcases checked in, and, of course, the boarding passes. Check ! Check ! Check ! Check ! Check !

The jet roared down the runaway, engines whining, and the plane lifted and sailed into the azure sky. As the plane leveled off, the couple finally were able to sit back and relax a bit.

The captain opened the public address system and said, "Good morning ladies and gentlemen and welcome to El Al flight 25 to Paris. I am Captain Goldberg and we'll be cruising at an altitude of 35,000 feet, so sit back and enjoy your flight. Oh, and by the way, Mr. and Mrs. Lipschitz sitting in seats 38a and 38b, you left your kid at the Tel Aviv airport."

Strange, but true! In addition to the eighteen suitcases, etc, the family was traveling with their five children. They managed to successfully  wrangle and check in 18 bags, disclose and stow their duty-free purchases, but forgot about one of their children. Fortunately, the four year old child was found wandering about the Tel Aviv airport and was put on the next flight to Paris accompanied by a flight attendant.

Police say they parents will be questioned when they return and may be charged with negligence. Either way, the child will always have one hell of a trump card for future use. I can hear it now, "Hey, Mom and Dad, remember when you left me at the airport in Tel Aviv?'

The Pictures: My expedition into the world of photographs uncovered a few slants (no pun intended) on the Beijing Olympics along with another grouping I like to call "wild animals as house pets." 

This Date In History: 1305; Scottish hero Sir William Wallace, who led the Scottish resistance to an English invasion in 1298, is captured near Glasgow. He will later be executed by the English for treason. 1583; English explorer Sir Humphrey Gilbert founds the first English colony in North America, near Saint John's, Newfoundland.

1912; The Progressive Party, also known as the Bull Moose Party, chooses former president Theodore Roosevelt, who led the group's break from the Republican Party, as their presidential candidate. 1962; Movie star Marilyn Monroe is found dead of a barbiturate overdose at her home in Los Angeles, California.

Birthdays: Guy de Maupassant, French novelist and short-story writer (1850), Mary Beard, historian (1876), John Huston, film director and actor (1906), Neil Armstrong, astronaut (1930), Patrick Ewing, basketball player (1962).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: <FONTCOLOR=#006600>The 2008 Olympic Bubblegum Team ignored their coaches warning about swallowing their gum.

                                

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, "Come on, a dog?" The owner says, "How about a cat?" The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!"

The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've got it! A centipede!" The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay... I'll try a centipede." He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, "Clean the kitchen."

Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and... it's immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away the counter-tops cleaned the appliances sparkling the floor waxed. He's absolutely amazed. He says to the centipede, "Go clean the living room."

Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed the furniture cleaned and dusted the pillows on the sofa plumped, plants watered. The man thinks to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!"

Next he says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper." The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later... no centipede. 20 minutes later... no centipede. 30 minutes later... no centipede.

By this point the man is wondering what's going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes. 45 minutes later... still no centipede! He can't imagine what could have happened. Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Where is that centipede?

So he goes to the front door, opens it... and there's the centipede sitting right outside. The man says, "Hey!!! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What's the matter?!"

The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm just puttin' on my shoes!"

                         

That's it for today my little musket ears (Say what, d'Artagnon?) More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

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