Friday, August 22, 2008

Obama To Choose Running Mate - Jimmy To Choose Mating Run

The rains have finally subsided in Miami and the sun has decided to make an appearance. The sunshine has picked me up as well and I'm ready to make my own appearance at an AREA 51 watering hole, yet to be determined. I stayed home on Hump Day and the words "staying home" are not a normal part of my vocabulary.

I'm planning on going out early, so if this entry happens to come out earlier than my normal time, you'll know why. I've been having lower back pain lately and my pal, Emilio, swears that I need to drink coconut juice for my kidneys. I don't like coconut juice, but maybe I can add some rum to it to spice it up. Personally, methinks my Fred Astaire meringue dancing a week or so ago is the culprit. We'll see.

The Cats Ass Trophy (CAT) Award is open for nominations until Monday at noon. Look behind bushes and under rocks, my little wranglers, there's always one or two lurking around.

Macho men have a tendency to strut like a peacock, running off at the mouth like a bad case of diarrhea. Real men normally don't behave as such and every once in a while, macho man meets real man.

                                                        

Say what? You be what? Pimp this, my man! Poetic justice is alive and well. Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

Odds And Ends: If you apply for welfare in Mexico, they give you a map of the United States. Female midgets have been warned against the dangers of using tampons as many have fallen after stepping on the string. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. To cure a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives and then you'll be too afraid to cough. Everyone has a photographic memory, it's just that some don't have film. Where are we going and why are we in this hand basket? I want to die in my sleep just like my grandfather and not like the people who were riding in the car with him.

The Pictures: BEER ! An excellent source of entertainment whether you choose to imbibe or merely watch the people who do. Beer has many additional uses and values as witnessed in today's pictures.

This Date In History: 1642; The English Civil War begins as King Charles I organizes his army to fight against the Puritan forces of Parliament. 1812; In present-day Jordan, Swiss explorer Johann Ludwig Burckhardt discovers the ancient city of Petra, capital of an Arab kingdom.

1864; Twelve nations sign the Geneva Convention, which establishes rules for the treatment of wounded and the protection of medical personnel in wartime and chooses a red cross on a white background as its symbol. 1922; Irish revolutionary Michael Collins, who signed the peace treaty with Britain that created the Irish Free State the previous year, is assassinated by Irish nationalists opposed to the treaty.

1922 (oops 1992) thanks to my pal Dirk; In the second day of Ruby Ridge incident in Idaho, an FBI sharpshooter kills Vicki Weaver, the wife of white separatist Randy Weaver.

Birthdays: Claude Debussy, composer (1862), Dorothy Parker, writer (1893), Deng Xiaoping, Chinese leader and table-tennis partner of Deng Xiapong (1904), Henri Cartier-Bresson, photographer (1908), John Lee Hooker, blues musician (1917), Carl Yastremski, baseball player (1939).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: The

In a Veteran's Day speech, President Bush vowed, 'We will finish the mission. Period.' Afterwards, he was advised he doesn't have to read the punctuation marks.

Bush and Cheney were sitting in a restaurant to discuss the craziness of the 2008 election. When the waitress came to take their orders, Cheney said, "I'll take the steak." When she asked Bush, he said, "I'll take the quickie." Cheney motioned for the waitress to come closer, and whispered into her ear "He means the quiche."

A man was coming home one day and he noticed that there was a lot more traffic than normal. As he got further up the road all of the traffic had come to a halt. He saw a policeman coming towards his car, so he asked the cop what was wrong.

The cop said, "Man, we are in a crisis situation. Barack Obama is in the road very upset that Hillary's eighteen million voters are not getting on board with him. He is threatening to douse himself in gasoline and start a fire."

The man asked the cop exactly what he was doing there." The cop said, " I feel sorry for Obama, so I am going car to car asking for help." The man asked, "How much help have you received so far?" The cop replied, "Well as of right now, we've received 33 gallons of gas, but many people are still siphoning as we speak!"

                         

That's it for today my little bare cubs. Stay dry, have a safe and great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

12 comments:

lsfp1960 said...

We've got sunshine today too, after record breaking rainfall the last few days.  The grass is growing with all the rain & moderate temperatures.  I need a goat.  The pictures were intersting but I don't like beer, can't even stand the smell of it.  And when Bob walks in this house after drinking a few, I can smell it as he comes in the door. YUCK!  Have a marvy weekend and don't forget to leave the trail of bread crumbs so you can eventually get back home. Linda in sunny Washington state  

garnett109 said...

i gave you the tac, now i give you cat ,
vadimir putin is an asshole

rjsisti said...

I'm jealous!  You have sunshine????  Still heavy rain and thunder further up here in Boca!...............and I'm out of essentials..................no Johnny Walker Red or any wine!  I'm not going out in this weather either.

Why don't they deliver??????

Hugs, Rose

garnett109 said...

jim that was vladimir putin

tsalagiman1 said...

Great Odds and Ends!  But, Ruby Ridge, in 1922???  Maybe a little too much of the alternative energy you have pictures of? LOL

Have a great weekend!

Dirk

lurkynat said...

My favorite part of this entry is"when you apply for welfare in Mexico they give you a map of the United States."!lol
I saw an old movie recently called" Zapata" and featuring Marlon Brando as the same. I was Mexico of long ago and not much has changed then huh?
cheers!
natalie

jmorancoyle said...

    I have a great story about two teenagers who decided to teach a former girlfriend a lesson about taking drugs, by dressing up as ninjas and swinging a huge array of swords. Before they had a chance at their plans the police saw them and arrested them. But then you've heard it said before. Teenagers have sh.... for brains.
Jude
http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay

jimsulliv3 said...

Authors note: Alive and well and home @ 2:10 am +/- !  Thanks Dirk, but what's 70 years between friends?

Jimmy

plieck30 said...

Liked the beer pictures and I don't even like beer. My favorite was the animal safety one. Oh now I forgot what I was going to comment on so I'll just say thanks for the chuckle. Paula

naperdillygirl said...

I just love reading your "newsy" journal.  You've got the greatest sense of humour, and I really enjoy the tidbits.  Thanks loads!  Sue

bamawmn46 said...

Great video...

hope you had fun last night...

Jackie

mpnaz58 said...

The only way to rid yourself of the Fred Astaire meringue dancing pain...is to do more!
xoxo ~Myra