Friday, August 1, 2008

I'm Ready For Freddy...Uh, Make That Fredrica !

August has arrived (and right on time I might add) and we're heading for cooler autumn weather. I heard someone remark the other day about Halloween candy being spotted on some store shelves. Fortunately, half of my time is spent wondering what I did last night and the other half on what I'll be doing today. Future events will arrive at the same time they did the previous year and I'm sure someone will give me a heads-up when that event comes to pass.

In the meantime, T.G.I.F and I'm ready to go out and play. There's plenty of things to in Miami and there's always something happening somewhere. I'll be heading for AREA 51 to see my pals and my first stop will probably be the karaoke show at Lakes Cafe and Pub. It's usually fun and that will give me time to ponder my next destination.

Watching late night TV last night, I came up with the following conclusions:

1) Televangelists are the Pro Wrestlers of religion. 2) Every mind has a photographic memory, although most have no film. 3) Evidently, there is a market for men who actually believe that Extendz actually works. 4) My vacuum cleaner needs to be replaced. 5) Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. 6) Old people believe everything, middle age people suspect everything and young people know everything. 7) Men are like toilets, either vacant, engaged or full of crap. 8) Parents take Prozac to keep their teenagers alive. 9) The reason why children are always happy is because they have no children. 10) Paying alimony is like feeding a dead horse.   

The Pictures: I always enjoy seeing pictures of flowers. Some of the best shots, I usually stea...borrow from my fellow journalist pals, Nancy, author of Nancy Luvs Pix, Julie, author of  Julie Loses It and Beth, author of Nutwood Junction. You can visit their journals by clicking the link on my sidebar under "Other Journals.". They always post beautiful flower pictures and I'll be sharing some them with you today, along with others in my portfolio. 

This Date In History: 1291; The cantons of Uri, Schwyz and Unterwalden form a protective confederation that will become the nation of Switzerland. 1944; With Soviet armies approaching the city from the east, the resistance movement in Warsaw, Poland, begins an uprising against the German occupation. The Germans crush the rebellion by October. 1954; The Yangtze River floods in China, killing 40,000 people and forcing 10 million others to leave their homes.

1978; Baseball player Pete Rose's hitting streak of 44 consecutive games, which tied the National League record, comes to an end. 1981; Music Television (MTV) debuts on the air with the video of the Buggles' "Video Killed the Radio Star."

Birthdays: Richard Henry Dana, writer and lawyer (1815), Maria Mitchell, astronomer (1818), Herman Melville, novelist and author of "Moby Dick" (1819), Anne Hebert, poet and novelist (1916), Jerry Garcia, singer and guitarist (1942).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A young blonde girl, down on her luck, decided to end it all by casting herself off the San Francisco Bay Bridge into the cold waters below. As she stood on the edge pondering the infinite, a passing sailor noticed her as he strolled by. The sailor asked, "You're not thinking of jumping, are you, babe?" The sobbing girl replied, "Yes, I am."

Putting his arm around her, the kind sailor coaxed her back from the edge. 'Look, nothing's worth that. I'll tell you what; I'm sailing off for Australia tomorrow. Why don't you stow away on board and start a new life over there. I'll set you up in one of the lifeboats on the deck, bring you food and water every night and I'll look after you if you look after me - if you know what I mean. You just have to keep very quiet so that you won't be found'.

The girl, having no better prospects, agreed, and the sailor sneaked her on board that very night. For the next 3 weeks the sailor came to her lifeboat every night, bringing food and water, and making love to her until dawn.

Then, during the fourth week, the captain was performing a routine inspection of the ship and its lifeboats. He peeled back the cover to find the startled blonde, and demanded an explanation. The girl came clean, 'I've stowed away to get to Australia. One of the sailors is helping me out. He set me up in here and brings me food and water every night and he's screwing me.'

The captain stared at her for a moment before he replied, "He certainly is, my love. This is the San Francisco Bay Ferry."


That's it for today my little guaca mollies. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !


midwestvintage said...

I am so not ready for Halloween.   Yikes.  You be careful tonight.


garnett109 said...

jim nice comment on what's the caption wednesday

rjsisti said...

"My little guaca mollies" crack me up........where and how does your brain come up with these last sentences every day!

Have a fabulous weekend and be careful.

I hate Halloween!  I have no idea why....never even liked it as a kid!  LOL

Hugs, Rose

lanurseprn said...

Halloween??? Already?? YIKES!
Loved the joke LOL! Have a fun evening.

lsfp1960 said...

If we make the decision to go on that cruise (deadline is Fri August 8th) we'll be on the "Good Ship Lollipop"  on Halloween.  That should be interesting. I missed this entry because I wasn't getting alerts...I'm glad I back tracked.  It's to late to say "have a good weekend" because it's over. Linda in WA  

jmorancoyle said...

    Your conclusions are right on. Particularly anything to do with teenagers.