Monday, August 25, 2008

Honey, I'm Home !

Congratulations to the United States Olympic team who finished the 2008 Olympiad with 110 medals, 36 gold, 38 silver and 36 bronze. China finished second with 100 medals, 56 of which were gold, the most gold medals won in this Olympiad.

Politics aside, all of the countries and participants should be congratulated for their efforts. It's difficult to imagine how all of these young athletes could have maintained their composure with all of the controversies now seemly associated with the Olympics. One would think that for such a short period of time, politics, grudges and demonstrations would be checked at the door.

Friday night's journey into AREA51 was fun and it was nice to see my pals, Jeannie and Bob there enjoying the Karaoke show. There were many fine singers on hand for the show and the music and performers were very good. I couldn't help but think in the back of my mind that, with the sale of Lakes Cafe currently pending, a search for a new AREA 51 site may be in order. On the other hand, perhaps the new owners will just improve on the current theme. Time will tell.

I stopped by The Billiards Club for a final nightcap and arrived home somewhere in the neighborhood of 2:00 am. Thankfully, it was also the neighborhood where I reside.

The Cats Ass Trophy (CAT) Award: Garnett, author of My Brain Is In Pain, nominated Vladimir Putin, the egotistical pseudo-tsar and prime minister of Russia. Personally I haven't liked the little weasel (Putin, not my pal, Garnett) since day one and the judges (my cat, Shithead and I) are in agreement and happy to give the CAT Award to Vladimir Putin for his country's disgusting behavior in Georgia.

The War In Georgia: Speaking of Russia, they are supposedly in the process of pulling out of Georgia. AREA 51 operatives and secret agents are sending daily reports to command headquarters and Linda has advised me that the Walmart located at the Alabama-Georgia border has sold out of ammunition. Alabama militiamen have stated that Russia may have invaded Georgia but you can bet your ass that they ain't invading Alabama.

I'm concerned about Jackie, who's embedded with the Alabama troops, but I'm sure she'll be good under the covers...., uh, undercover. I have no idea where Garnett's ass is. Unlike most of the parties he attends as a civilian, when he's in military mode, he's not quick to show his ass.

Rose has not spoken lately to Johnny Walker-Red, a former red communist leader and now AREA 51 ally. Constant rains have prevented her from a debriefing with Mr. Walker-Red, but I'm sure she will complete her mission this week.

As a former soldier with the U.S. Army, I am fully aware of the inherent danger of pulling out, but it's usually a lot safer done sooner than later. My assumption is that the Russians will withdraw via Savannah.

Two muffins were in an oven and the first muffin said, "Damn, it's hot!" The second muffin said, "Damn, a talking muffin!"

The Pictures: Sidewalk Art - Part One. Known as "The Sidewalk Artist," Julian Beever is an artist whose specialty is drawing three dimensional  pictures in public areas. His works, nothing short of spectacular, are featured today and tomorrow.

In the interim, take a look at this kitty born with four (count-'em), ears. WHAT?

                     

Birthdays: Ivan IV Vasilyevich, known as Ivan the Terrible, first tsar of Russia (1530), Alan Pinkerton, detective (1819), Clara Bow, actress (1905), Leonard Bernstein, composer and conductor (1918, Althea Gibson, tennis player (1927), Sean Connery, actor (1930), Elvis Costello, singer (1954).

This Date In History: 1718French colonists in Louisiana establish a settlement named for the Duc d'Orleans, regent of France, which will become the city of New Orleans. 1825; Uruguay declares itself independent of Brazil.

1900; Ten years after suffering a mental breakdown from which he never recovered, philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche dies in Weimar, Germany at the age of 55. 1944; American troops, along with Free French and French Resistance forces, liberate Paris from German occupation.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and say, " Doc, I'm getting married this weekend and my fiancee thinks I'm a virgin. Is there anything you can do to help me?"

The doctor says, "Medically, no, but try taking an elastic band and slide it on you upper thigh. When you're husband enters you, snap the elastic band and tell him that it's your virginity snapping." The woman smiled, knowing that her fiancee would fall for this.

On their honeymoon, the wife is preparing herself in the bathroom. She slips the elastic band up her leg, finishes preparing and slides into bed with her husband.

Things progress and at that certain moment, she snaps the elastic band. Her husband says, "What in the hell was that? The woman says, "That was the sound of my virginity snapping, my love." The husband says, "Well, snap it again, it's got me by the balls!"

A survey was conducted, asking women what they thought of their ass. Eighty-five percent said that they thought their ass was too big. Ten percent said that they thought their ass was too small. Five percent said that they would marry him again.

                     

That's it for today my little baby buggy bumpers. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

10 comments:

rjsisti said...

Whew, I was relieved to finally see "Honey, I'm home".  I thought maybe some gorgeous blonde kidnapped you over the weekend and held you by force!  Where the hell were you???????  LOL  Little late posting an entry today!  

Mr. Walker and I enjoyed dinner and my glass is now empty.  Oh my....it was a long week with without Johnny Walker Red! The sun was shining so I finally went out shopping today!  Stocked up good.

Did you see the News..........another tropical storm heading our way!  Ugh!

Hugs, Rose

lsfp1960 said...

I saw a thing about the cat with 4 ears on TV the other day. Actually it's a very pretty cat..just a little odd looking with those 2 extra ears.  But then Miss Gabi has a smooched in face so I suppose some think she's odd looking too.  Yes the Olympics were great...we had lots of medal winners from Washington state. And the local NBC affiliate from Seattle had a team over there, broadcasting around the clock.
I bet Johnny Walker wouldn't allow you to say "rugged rubber baby buggy bumpers"  30 times real fast.
Linda in Washington state

garnett109 said...

My ass is just right!

rdautumnsage said...

My ass is avoiding me until the home remodeling is done...I absolutely love that cat with the 4 ears. He looks like a little devil. Quite a few people are questioning the amount of Gold medals China walked away with..Myself, I don't know why the animosity can't stay outside the doors at the Olympics. I was laughing my ass off at the hits for today hon. (Hugs)Indigo

bamawmn46 said...

hey jimmy....

i wave the white flag... i'm tired and this year is a pain in the ass of others...hehe

jackie

robinngabster said...

That sidewalk art is amazing!  I would love to see something like that in person.

lanurseprn said...

Wierd about that 4 eared cat! Have a good night!
Pam

plieck30 said...

No there were no green houses behind the green houses because the green houses are the green houses. Oh you know what I mean. Paula

luvrte66 said...

Two muffins were in an oven and the first muffin said, "Damn, it's hot!" The second muffin said, "Damn, a talking muffin!"

I have no idea why, but that one just cracked me up! I'm going to be going about my business, and "Damn, a talking muffin!" is going to pop into my brain!

Beth

jmorancoyle said...

    I applaud you and Shithead's choice of the CATS ASS award this week. Well done. And I applaud the forthright and unbiased coverage of the Georgia situation. Well done to all our Area 51 operatives! Hopefully you'll be able to track down Garnett's ass before the enemy does.
    I want to make a suggestion for the next CATS ASS award, but, as usual, I can't find the fool's name. I'm thinking about the man who parasailed into the building during the hurricane. I also think he should be nominated for a Darwin Award. I'm just waiting for Mama to claim that parasailing should be illegal because her son was hurt. Okay, too harsh? Sorry. I really hope his health improves. I also hope his common sense does as well.
Jude
http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay