Reflections From The Past - Part Deux !

The weekend is here and I hear the distant drum beat of AREA 51 beckoning its followers to ease on down, ease on down the road for happy hour. There are so many social questions unanswered, so many Scotch glasses unemptied, so many ladies unpampered, that I feel a moral obligation to do my patriotic duty and follow the drum beat.

The inhabitants of AREA 51 at Lakes Cafe will most certainly be ready to solve the problems of global warming, feed the needy children, discuss the merits of the current politicians and, of course, as Miss South Carolina Teen USA would eloquently put it, bring world peace (such as). 

For those of you who are following the story of the three young men who were attacked by the escaped tiger in the San Francisco Zoo, Paul Dhaliwal, 19, told the father of Carlos Sousa Jr, 17, who was killed, that the three yelled and waved at the tiger, according to a search warrant affidavit obtained by the San Francisco Chronicle.

Police believe that the tiger may have been taunted and agitated by its eventual victims. Toxicology results show all three had high levels of alcohol and marijuana in their blood and police found vodka and marijuana in their car.

Bottom line...... Life's a bitch ! Don't screw with the tigers !

The Date: Part II (Part I can be read in yesterday's entry)

I finished work the following Friday at around 6:00 p.m. and Joe's sons and I went to Joe's house to be paid for the week. After receiving my paycheck, we all sat outside in Joe's patio and drank a few beers. Joe asked me if my date was still on for Saturday and I answered that it was. With that, Joe's son, Joe Jr, asked, "What date?" I explained the situation to my buddy Joe Jr. (I had assumed that Big Joe had explained the situation to Joe Jr, but he was a man of honor and not prone to gossip).

Joe Jr. asked if he and his girlfriend could join us and I told him that assuming getting Susan into the Jai Alai fronton went well, I didn't mind if he joined us (what I really wanted to do was show off the lovely Susan). We decided that Joe and his girlfriend would arrive around 8:00 p.m. He would secure balcony box seats for four and if my plan went well, we'd join them inside.

I picked up Susan at 8:00 Saturday evening and we were off to Jai Alai (the scent of her perfume still lingers in my subconscious). I had explained to her that the reason for picking her up early was that the first game was at 8:00 p.m and that I didn't want to miss the daily double. Although that was true, the main reason was that the entrances were the most crowded at that time and less time was spent on checking identification.

We arrived at the fronton and I drove to the valet to have the car parked. We strolled to the entrance where Joe's friend worked and entered the line. My heart was pounding because if this didn't work, my credibility with Susan would take a tremendous nose dive. At the door, Susan entered first and I looked toward Joe's friend to give the agreed "password".

The first thing I noticed was he was looking at Susan, not at me. The second thing I noticed that "I'm Joe's friend" went in his right ear and out his left as he continued to gaze at Susan. He smiled at her, said, "good luck, beautiful" and allowed her to enter, whereupon he turned to me and said, "Good evening sir, may I see your identification?" Red-faced I replied, "I'm Joe's friend".

The main life lesson I learned at Jai Alai that evening is that you can never trust another man around your lady. Fortunately, Joe's friend realized the faux pas he had made and said, "Jimmy, you never allow me to to joke with you. Let me buy you and your lovely lady a cocktail." He gave a sign to one of the ladies attending the bar area and we were escorted to a table and given complimentary drinks.

Things went great the rest of that evening. We hooked up with Joe and his date and we even left Miami Jai Alai winning money, a feat in and of itself. Susan and I went on to forge a marvelous relationship that I will always treasure.

The Pictures: Today's pics are downright goofy, my silly wabbits. I've wandered about the net looking for a good theme for the last few days, but to no avail, so I'll just have to rely on my current portfolio of about 2,300 photographs.

This Date In History: 1486; King Henry VII of England marries Elizabeth of York, the daughter of Edward IV, hoping to unite Yorkist and Lancastrian claims to the throne in his Tudor dynasty. 1778; Captain James Cook discovers the "Sandwich Islands", which are later renamed the Hawaiian Islands. 1896; The X-Ray machine is first exhibited in New York City. The X in the name is used because of the initial mystery of what type of ray it is. 1996; Michael Jackson's marriage to Lisa Marie Presley ends in divorce after two years.

Birthdays: Daniel Webster, American statesman famed for his oratorial skills (1782), A.A. Milne, English author (1882), Oliver Hardy, comedic actor (1892), Danny Kaye, comedian, dancer, singer and musician (1913), Kevin Cosner, actor (1955).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE HUNTING OF LAWYERS Government Department of Fish and "Wildlife" Sec. 1200

1. Any person with a valid hunting license may harvest attorneys.

2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.

3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.

4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.

5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.

6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yardsof BMW dealerships.

7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.

8.If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, "entrap", or possess it.

9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for rabies, and vermin.

10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

BAG LIMITS (Maximum number of catches allowed per hunting season)

1. Yellow Bellied Sidewinder.............(2)
2. Two-faced Tort Feasor..................(1)
3. Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator.....(4)
4. Small-breasted Ball Buster............(3)(Female)
5. Big-mouthed Pub Gut...................(2)
6. Honest Attorney...........................(Endangered Species List)
7. Cut-throat...................................(2)
8. Back-stabbing Whiner..................(2)
9. Brown-nosed Judge Kisser............(2)
10. Silver-tongued Drug Defender  ($100 BOUNTY)

That's it for today my rocking little robins. Have a safe and great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

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