Friday, January 11, 2008

Due To Technical Difficulties, I Have No Headline !

Ok, minor detail ! My friend, Emilio, called at 4:00 p.m. and asked me to accompany him to a job site in Miami Beach. After same, we stopped by Lakes Cafe, where item number one of my agenda joined me ( and left, forthwith after a few drinks to pick up her son).

I am presently attempting to make the remainder of today's entry on a somewhat hurried basis, because we are returning to Lakes Cafe for the second half of today's social soiree. That in mind, kindly overlook any typing errors or omissions. The rest of this entry was complete and ready to go at 3:55 p.m. until hurricane Emilio hit town.

Author's Note: Saturday A.M. - Please excuse paragraph's one and two of this entry as it was entered by my alter ego (I did not ! Did too !).  

Robinson Crusoe once said, "It's Friday" ! That being the case, methinks it's a good idea to mosey (I wonder how you actually "mosey"?) on over to AREA 51 at Lakes Cafe and see what's happening. There's several items on my agenda this evening and hopefully said items will not all arrive at the same time.

One thing for sure, I'm going to 86 getting home at 4:00 a.m. again. It seems the old grey stallion can still hang out with the young'uns, but the price is a bit steep. I spend half my morning-afters looking for my glasses so I can look for any missing body parts. Actually, I don't ever really plan to be out late, it just sorta happens. We'll see !

I've been following the current saga of (asshole) Dr. Phil McGraw and the ever spread-eagled Britney Spears. As you may assume, I don't think too much of the "doctor". He is an unlicensed clinical psychologist who was sanctioned in 1989 by the Texas State Board of Examiners of Psychologists for unethical behavior, having an inappropriate relationship with a 19 year old female patient and was stripped of his license. To date, Dr. Phil has not completed the conditions imposed by the board and remains unlicensed.

His recent, unwanted intervention and subsequent public remarks in the Spears case was self-serving and unprofessional at best and was criticized by the Spears family as causing additional damage to Ms. Spears. Although Britney is in obvious need of some form of psychological help, one would hope that it would be from a licensed psychiatrist and not from an overweight, wannabe Romeo like McGraw.

The Pictures: Todays pics are haphazard at best...., please refer to paragraph one.

This Date In History: 1861; Alabama secedes from the Union much to the dismay of Jackie's great great grandfather. 1913; The Hudson Motor Car Company introduces the first fully enclosed hardtop automobile. 1935; Amelia Earhart makes the first solo flight from Hawaii to California. 1984; Michael Jackosn is nominated for 12 Grammy Awards, winning an unprecedented 8 for his Album, Thriller.

Birthdays: John Macdonald, Canadian Prime minister (1815), Thomas F. Dixon, writer (1864), Ben Crenshaw, professional golfer (1952), Stanley Tucci, director (1960).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: PUNS - The Final Chapter

A lot of monet is tainted. It taint your and it taint mine A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. He had a photograpiv memory that was never developed.The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye. Bakers trade bread on a kneadto know basis. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Running with this week' s groaner theme, my pal, Nancy, sent me this gem.

The Story of the Fabulous Foo Bird (edited and abridged)

Author unknown (presumably for good reason)

Three explorers arrived in Africa to explore new territory. Upon arrival, they enlisted the services of a native to translate for them and another native to act as a guide. They had organized their supplies and secured the services of porters and were ready at last!

They went into the jungle and after a few hours, their guide got very excited upon seeing something on the ground. The three explorers and their translator hurried over to see what was the matter. The translator explained, "He says that this is the mark of the Fabulous Foo Bird! They are very rarely seen! They are very lucky!"


After awhile, they heard a horrible squawking from the air above them. They looked up to see an enormous bird flying overhead. As they were staring, there was a loud squelching sound, followed by cries of disgust from the senior explorer. The other turned to see that he was covered with bird crap. The guide said, "That was the Fabulous Foo Bird! You must not wipe this off! If you leave it on, you will receive untold wealth and fortune. If you wipe it off, you will die horribly!"

"Nonsense!" said the explorer. He disgustedly cleaned himself up, all the while grumbling about superstitions. A short time later, the senior explorer was clean and still very much alive. "There! You see? Nothing to worry about!" he said. Three steps later he fell over dead, his body rotting away.

The next day, the same squawking was heard, followed by the appearance of the bird. This time, the second explorer was coated in gunk. Once again, the guide issued his hysterical warning. "Poppycock!" said the second explorer. "That was a coincidence. I am not going to trek through Africa coated in bird crap because of some silly superstition!" He proceeded to clean himself off, but wasn't even finished before he collapsed dead into a pile of dust.

The next day, the same squawking was heard, followed by the appearance of the bird. This time, the youngest (and only remaining) explorer was coated in crap. Once again, the guide issued his hysterical warning. Thenervous young explorer decided to play it safe and continue the exploration in his filthy state. This met with great approval by the natives.

The expedition continued and proved to be a smashing success, with great discoveries. The young explorer recived incredible accolades and lived a very long and wealthy life.

From then on, enterprising explorers were always given this sage advice: if the Foo shits, wear it.

That's it for today my little Foo Fighters. Have a safe and great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !


garnett109 said...

if the foo shits wear it  i don't get it

nhd106 said...

OMG  !!

What a fantastic, hyterical joke!! ROFL!  Where did you ever?   Ha ha ha ha!!

Anyway, thanks for the drink!


inafrnz247 said...

Hilarious!!  I've always heard that sky droppings are good luck ~ this just proves it!  LOL @ foo shits!

Interesting facts about wannabe doc phil...  I had no idea, but always had my suspicions...  what a louse.  



jmorancoyle said...

    Loved the story.

acoward15 said...

Was it really that long ago when Michael Jackson was actually good?