Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The Florida Election, Popeye's Mom And A Rectal Thermometer !

This is primary day in Florida, where everyone that cries and complains about the politicians can make their voices heard, albeit a drop in the bucket towards the eventual national outcome. Change starts in your own backyard, so choose your candidate carefully, because it may come back to haunt you.

President Bush gave his State of the Union address and I've never seen so many phony standing ovations and ass-kissing in my life. I watched Obama Bin Laden and Teddy the Drunk holding hands while Hillary stewed. All in all, it was almost as funny s watching the Comedy Channel. I wonder if in the last seven years anyone has said, "Hey Prez, it's pronounced new-klee-are, not new-kew-ler, ya dumb bastard."

Speaking of Bush, I'm reminded of a joke sent to me by my pal, Garnett and I'm sure that my nurse pals will appreciate this one, to wit:

A nurse walks into a bank, exhausted after a 20 hour shift. Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. She looks at the flabbergasted teller and without missing a beat, she says, "Well that's just great...really great ! Some asshole has my pen !"

To live is to learn and I'm pleased to say that I learn something each day. My newest accomplishment is that I've figured out that I can load my own cell phone videos directly to my journal. This may not be news to you, but it is a pleasant surprise to me. Although I can't really upload all of my personal videos, there are some that I can and will upload in the next few days.

The Pictures: Patagonia, a mountainous area between Argentina and Chile is the subject of today's photographs. Some ofthe most exciting panoramas are the subject of many a photographer. I've added a few pics that I've obtained recently including some beautiful pictures from my pal, Nancy.

Of course, since I'm prone to levity, I've found some interesting pic's including a picture of Poeye's mom.

This Date In History: 1891; Liliuokalani became Queen of Hawaii following the death of her brother, King Lalakaua. She was the last monarch in Hawaiian history. 1936; Baseball greats Ty Cobb, Honus Wagner, Walter Johnson and Christy Mathewson are the first players inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. The hall opens its doors to the public in 1939. 1958; Actors Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward marry. 1990; Exxon Valdez oil tanker captain Joseph Hazelton goes on trial in the worst oil spill in the history of the United States. 1995; The San Francisco 49ers make NFL history by winning their fifth Super Bowl.

Birthdays: Thomas Paine, political philosopher (1737), WilliamMcKinley, 25th President of the United States (1843), W. C. Fields, actor (1880), Germaine Greer, Australian writer (1939), Oprah Winfrey, talk show host (1954).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Today, being a day of choice for Florida voters, merits the following story:

While walking down the street one day, a U.S. senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. The soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see an attorney or politician around these parts, so we're not quite sure what to do with you."

The senator says, "No problem, just let me in."

St. Peter says, "I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spendone day in hell and one day in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

With that, St. Peter escorts the senator to the elevator and it goes down to hell. The doors open and the senator is in the clubhouse of a beautiful golf course. Inside are other attorneys and politicians who are enjoying the amenities. They all greet the senator and after cocktails, they dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Everyone is having such a good time that without realizing it, the senator must return to heaven. They bid the senator a hearty farewell and the elevator closes to take the senator back to heaven where St. Peter is waiting.  St. Peter says, "Now, you visit heaven."

So, 24 hours pass with the senator visiting contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and soon St. Peter returns.

St. Peter says, "Well, you've spent a day in hell and a day in heaven. Now choose your eternity."The senator reflects for a moment and replies, "I never would have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I'd be better off in hell."

So, St. Peter escorts the senator to the elevator which then goes down to hell. When the elevator opens, the senator is in the midst of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. All of the attorneys and politicians are dressed in rags, picking up trash and putting it in black bags as more garbage falls from above.

The devil comes over and puts his arm around the senator who laments, "I don't understand. Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course, a niceclubhouse and we dined on lobster, caviar and champagne. Now it's just a wasteland and all of my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says,"Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted."

That's it for today my little republocrats. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

9 comments:

garnett109 said...

Cheney was smiling in the background thanking bush for his 8 years in and the all that time halburton was in Iraq, he had made billions on the war!

nhd106 said...

Hey there,
Regarding the pics....that "hiker" is CRAZY.    I also like Popeye's mom...lol.  But my faves...absolutely....are those of your pal Nancy!  Where can I buy those?

luvrte66 said...

How apropos!

Beth

ksquester said...

Popeye's Mom scares me.......... Did you listen to the Democratic reply by Democratic governor Sebellius from the RED state of Kansas.  I thought she was pretty savy.  Good joke and I love the word republocrats.   Anne

mpnaz58 said...

LOL...on the pen joke :)  The prez race just gets more boring and pathetic.  An endorsement by Ted Kennedy...asset or liability??  Bush is on his way out, and he almost has a perpetual smirk on his face that I want to slap off!!  We'll see how you Floridians voted ;)
xoxo ~Myra

bamawmn46 said...

The pen story is funny~

Jackie

midwestvintage said...

Funny.

                 Julie

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