Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Half Way There - One Hump Or Two ?

Like an oasis in the desert, today is Hump Day, the temporary respite in the tedious workweek that allows us, if nothing else, to ease over to our respective AREA 51 at our local watering holes. AREA 51 is not a place, but a state of mind located in every watering hole.

As you are well aware, the government denied for years that AREA 51 existed, but we know that it does. Fortunately, not everyone knows exactly where it is, so we selfishly enjoy the anonymity while others just cruise on by, wandering aimlessly in the happy hour atmosphere. Fear not, my little tequila shooters, that they will discover this fabulous state as most cannot see the forest for the trees, the barnyard for the animals, the..... (Surely, you rant ! It has been said and don't call me Shirley !).

Our current persona non grata, O.J. Simpson, had his bail doubled by a Las Vegas judge today. The judge also ordered that at least 50% ($37,500) of the cash amount needed to secure the bond be deposited and paid before the double murderer gets out of jail. The boy keeps skating, but sooner or later, he'll hang himself (hopefully).

The Pictures: I'm running the jackets of several of my favorite albums for a little bit of nostalgia today, No need to view them larger, they're small but a lot of my life was spent either performing or merely enjoying the sounds of these artists. 

This Date In History: 1547; Ivan the Terrible is crowned tsar of Russia. 1919; Prohibition, the legal ban on the manufacture and sale of intoxicating drink, goes into effect. 1961; Mickey Mantle signs a contract for $75,000 a year, the highest in the American League. 1964; Carol Channing debuts in "Hello Dolly", the Broadway show based on Thorton Wilder's play "The Matchmaker". The Broadway play earned a Tony as Best Musical of the Year.

Birthdays: Ethel Merman, actress (1909), Dizzy Dean, professional baseball player who led the National League in strikeouts four times 1932-35 (1911). Marilyn Horne, opera singer (1934), A.J. Foyt, automobile racer and four time winner of the Indianapolis 500 (1935).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: From my pal, Garnett comes....

During the Sunday morning children's sermon, all the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and as she sat down, the minister leaned over and said, "That is a pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress ?"

The little girl replied, directly into the minister's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron !"

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, .... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling !"

The teacher paused and said, "And what do you think the farmer said ?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said, Holy shit, a talking chicken !"

And from Jimmy's Corner.....

Three doctors were discussing medicine in their countries.

A French doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another and have him working in six weeks."

An English doctor said, "That's nothing ! In England, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another and have him back to work in a week."

The American doctor, not to be outdone, said, "Hah ! We took an asshole out of Texas, put it in the White House and half the country was looking for work the next day !"

That's it for today my little aardvarks. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

7 comments:

garnett109 said...

my watering hole use to be Happy Days Cafe, great times there.

lsfp1960 said...

There truly is an Area 51, right next to my house.  I'll send you picture proof. Happy Hump Day to all those out there who are working at their respective jobs today.  Linda (the retired one) in Washington state

midwestvintage said...

I've been to area 51, strange place and they won't let you in there very far.  

            Julie

luvrte66 said...

I'm also an Elvis and Harry Connick, Jr. fan. I like Frank, but I LOVE Dino. "Little ol' wine drinker, me...." I think Dean's voice is so much smoother and mellower than Frank's. Not to take anything away from Frank, but gimme Dino any day. :)

I wish I could go back in time to Vegas in the '60's and see one of the Rat Pack shows. I'd wear a fabulous cocktail dress and a mink stole, and I would shmooze with the best of 'em. I'd catch Louis and Keely in the lounge after the show, and when shooting craps, I'd have all the handsome men in their tuxedos blow on my dice.

Oh...I think I went away there for a moment. Sorry!

Beth

lanurseprn said...

We have a place that we have drinks at and once in awhile I'll say 'Let's go to Area 51" and my buddies will look at me like I'm crazy! LOL! So I had to explain to them about you and Area 51. You are a legend Jimmy! LOL!
Have a good week.
Pam

shrbrisc said...

I have never laughed so hard thanks for sharing .

I received your link thru magic smoke and wanted to invite you to visit my journey .
hugs
Sherry

ma24179 said...

Love the jokes!! LMBO! I found you on magis smoke. Have a great Sunday. -Missy http://journals.aol.com/ma24179/MISSYZSTUFF