Ok, it's time for New Year's resolutions, mine and yours ! I'm really not in a state of mind nor physical condition to make concrete resolutions, but I'm going to at least make an outline for 2008 and will firm it up as soon as my mind and body decide to work together once again as a team. This phenomenon will hopefully take place within the next 24-48 hours or so. In the interim, I have a mission which is impossible to attain without your assistance (you are just so damned clever with words. Shut up !).
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to leave me your number one resolution for 2008 in your comments today. As some of you might be in the same physical and mental condition as I, you have the same 24-48 hour rule as I have given myself. Keep in mind that anyone resolving to establish world peace or feed the children will be automatically sent to the Miss Universe pageant (such as) where such frivolous answers are accepted and/or rewarded.
Although I have several resolutions in mind for this year, including timely book keeping for my company, I will give you my number one resolution. I resolve to spend more time this year making sure that I say to my family and friends a simple phrase that is always on my mind but not orally expressed as often as I should. It's a simple phrase and easy to say; I Love you !
Don't be taken aback ! There are many who will never hear those words uttered from me (with the exception of amorous occasions complicated by the intoxicating effects of the world renown poet, J. Walker Black). Rather, it is the simple inner pinings of my serious side and my wish to reinforce my relations with the important people in my life.
So, my little party hats (by the way, check to make sure you're still not wearing yours from last night), leave me your resolution, serious or otherwise. I will be carefully noting same and will reprint them in a future entry (the 24-48 hour rule notwithstanding).
The Pictures: As I prepare this entry, the mere fact that I did not prepare nor research anything remotely resembling pictures does not make me stumble. It is, in fact, a challenge in that, after last evening, I am able to type and/or sit up ! Moreover, now I must "surf" the web, keeping in mind that the word "surf" is not a encouraging word to one who has battled and defeated the infamous surfing legend J.W. Black.
Actually, an "encouraging" word, assuming that the skies are not cloudy, should be "home", id est, "Oh give me a home where the buffalo roam and I'll show you a house full of shit" (Do you actually believe they're reading this caca? Probably, not, but I liked the humor of it). Aha ! I just thought of it ! My Favorite Assholes of 2007 ! Kinda makes ya wanna look, doesn't it?
You are cordially invited to vote for any of these jerks, or a write in a nominee for Asshole of the Year !
This Date In History: 1863; The Emancipation Proclamation goes into effect, freeing slaves in Confederate territories. 1898; Brooklyn merges with Manhattan. 1902; The University of Michigan wins the first Rose Bowl, defeating Stanford 49-0. 1942; Twenty six nations sign the United Nations declaration. 1959; Fidel Castro ousts Cuban dictator Fulgencio Batista.
Birthdays: Paul Revere, American silversmith, engraver and patriot (1735), Betsy Ross, seamstress and reported maker of the first American flag (1752), J. Edgar Hoover, American criminologist and director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (1895),Barry Goldwater, American politician 1909), J.D. Salinger, American novelist and short story writer (1919).
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: The New Year's Resolutions for Pets
1. Have a torrid one-night stand with a street mutt.
2. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.
3. Circulate petition that leg humping should be a competition in major dog shows.
4. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.
5. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on steroids or they'll flush my ass.
6. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for myself how much food is too much.
7. Fish: Get out of the castle more, maybe swim counter-clockwise this year.
8. I will not chase the damned stick unless I see it leave his hand.
That's it for today my hung over little party goers. More tomorrow.
Stay Tuned !