Monday, January 28, 2008

The Ten Drunkest Cities ? - Show Me The Way !

This morning, I read the national, state and local news. Then, as per my usual, I read the AOL news blurbs that always plasters the screen when you go online and something caught my eye. The title read "10 Drunkest cities in the United States". According to the site, a new "Men's Health" study came up with the ten most dangerously drunk cities.

I'm not sure of the criteria necessary to qualify for such an honor, but I was curious to see if Miami made the finals. Reliability and credence of the survey notwithstanding, the results did amuse me and I offer them to you for your review and consideration.

The Winners: 1st) Denver, Colorado 2nd) Anchorage, Alaska 3rd) Colorado Springs, Colorado 4th) Omaha, Nebraska 5th) Fargo, North Dakota 6th) San Antonio, Texas 7th) Austin, Texas 8th) Fresno, California 9th) Lubbock, Texas and 10th) Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Scientifically, I assume that this study has no real weight in determining the true top cities, but it does amuse me that Colorado and Texas had two entries each. I've skied in Colorado and I was stationed in San Antonio, so I can attest to the veracity of those two claims to fame. I'll have some pictoral supplements in The Pictures.

There is also a new study out that reports that moderate drinking was good for one's health, stating women could drink one drink per day and men could drink two drinks per day and improve their health. I'm happy to report that the inhabitants of AREA 51 are indeed a healthy lot although visibly upset that we didn't make the finals of the ten drunkest cities.

Speaking of drunks, I see that Ted "The Drunk" Kennedy endorsed Obama for President. I'm not real sure if that's good or bad as Mr. Kennedy comes with his own baggage, starting with Chappaquiddick and on to the Palm Beach rape case.

The primaries hit Florida tomorrow and hopefully will start ridding us of some of the wannabees currently clogging the political system. My guess is that Giuliani will come in third at best and I believe McCain will edge Romney in the republican race. Although the Florida delegates theoretically have been stripped by the democratic national committee, my thinking is that Clinton will defeat Obama in Florida.

The Pictures: Today we review the "10 Drunkest Cities in the U.S." Surprisingly some of the cities you would think would be on the list are curiously missing. The site where I gathered the list also offered some humorous pictures to go along with each city and I've added some of my own to help illustrate them.

This Date In History: 1866; Scottish explorer, David Livingstone embarks on his final expedition in Africa to establish the true source of the Nile. All outside contact with him is lost after he reaches Lake Tanganyika. 1908; Julia Ward Howe, author and reformer, is the first woman elected to the American Academy of Arts and Letters, in part for writing the famous poem "The Battle Hymn of the Republic". 1916; Louis D. Brandeis is nominated to the United States Supreme Court, becoming the first Jew to attain this position. 1968; Aretha Franklin tops the charts with her hit "Chain of Fools". She goes on to earn a string of awards including lifetime achievement awards from the Grammys and from the Kennedy Center of the Arts. 1986; The space shuttle Challenger explodes 73 seconds after liftoff at Kennedy Space Center in Florida.

Birthdays: Henry VII, king of England (1457), Anna Ivanovna, Russian empress (1693), Susan Sontag, writer (1933).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My pal, Victor, contributed this touching story.

A little boy goes  to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?" The father  answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!

Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.  Then I set up a  date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.  We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard  drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of  us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine  months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:


                                             You've Got Male !

And From Jimmy's Corner:   3 Guys in a Sauna..

Three men, one  German, one Japanese and a Texan were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound.

The German pressed his forearm and the beep stopped.The others looked at him questioningly. "That was my pager,"he said, "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

The Texan felt decidedly low tech, but not to be undone he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his behind. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him.

The Texan said .... "Well, dang-it, would you look at that, I'm getting a fax."

That's it for today my little cyber surfers . More Tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !


luvrte66 said...

I lived in Grand Forks, North Dakota, which is about an hour north of Fargo, for 5 years, and I'm not surprised they're on the list. I know I did my part for the cause when I lived there!

Thanks for your take on Florida's primary tomorrow--I was curious to see what you thought about how it would come out.


lsfp1960 said...

Well, I'm happy to see those of us here in Washington didn't qualify in the "10 Drunkest Cities" list.  That's because we're all hopped up on Starbucks!   Actually I drink decafe, so I'm not included in that group either.  Great pictures once again.  Come visit me and see my snow pictures.  Woke up to it this morning and for once in 47 years I didn't have to conquer the many hills in this town to get to work.  Retirement is great !!  Linda in Washington state

garnett109 said...

they already got videos on youtube about obama being a gay crackhead senator

ksquester said...

Oh #13 was my favorite.   Anne

ma24179 said...

That "you've got male" was great!!! LMBO!!!! -Missy

bamawmn46 said...

Thanks for the Bloody Mary, Jimmy!!  I really needed it tonight!!

I noticed that Somerville isn't listed there.... must be because we are in a dry county....


lanurseprn said...

I can't believe LA wasn't on the list! What the heck?? We need to get with the program!
Have a great week!
Love ya,

mpnaz58 said...

You would think AOL would have real news to report instead of posting the drunkest cities in the lates on Brit, TomKat!  Just kidding...I wish the prez race was over...sick of politics.
xoxo ~Myra

shrbrisc said...

I love the jokes keep them coming