Monday, June 18, 2007

Rise And Shine, It's The M-Day !

Greetings! A word no 18 year old wanted to read during the draft era in the sixties, but greetings and salutations nonetheless! We begin today's journey into the workweek with fond fuzzy recollections of the previous week. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to beat the bushes for a nominee for this week's C.A.T. award. This is not a difficult task, my little special agents, as the world is awash with potential candidates. This paragraph will erase in sixty seconds.

Ok, the paragraph won't erase, but your assistance is solicited and with your keen senses, I imagine you are "up" for the assignment. Every nominee will be seriously considered (myself notwithstanding).

Odds and Ends: Federal bankruptcy judge A. Jay Cristol awarded Ron Goldman's family the rights to (A) O.J. Simpson's cancelled book, "If I Did It", which the Goldman family want to rename, "Confessions Of A Double Murderer". The judge ruled that Lorraine Brooke Associates, run by Simpson's daughter, Arnelle, can be considered as belonging to Simpson. A money trail of $650k from HarperCollins, O.J.'s publisher, to LBA (Arnelle) to Simpson confirm that LBA was "clearly accomplished to perpetuate a fraud.".... Duke rape case D.A., Michael Difong was disbarred from practicing law after his confession last week... Congratulations to Angel Cabrera of Argentina in winning the U.S. Open Golfing championship. Oh,.... and Precious is still in the clink, Britney's plethora of cats and puppies has been expanded to "birds" and Lindsay's still in a coma. 

The Pictures: Botswanan Cheetahs, a stunning new frog specie discovery, China revisited, two silver back gorillas (keyword being two and you've seen one) and one unusual suspect ! 

This Week In History: 1812; Congress declares war against Britain to begin the War of 1812 1815; French emperor and General, Napoleon Bonaparte, is defeated at the Battle of Waterloo 1983; Sally Ride becomes the first American woman in space aboard the space shuttle, Challenger.

Birthdays: Sammy Kahn, sonwriter (1913), Lou Brock, baseball player (1939), Paul McCartney, rock and roll singer and songwriter (1942).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Metaphors from High School Essays

Part Deux: He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with a white picket fence like Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. The fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. The moon, like a testicle, hung low over the evening night. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, like a garbage truck backing up.

That's it for today my little undercover investigators. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !  


bamawmn46 said...

Hey Jimmy! I'm on the look-out for the C.A.T. award for this week. We might be onto a couple.....  Love the metaphors! Especially this one: "When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, like a garbage truck backing up."

Thanks for the laugh, my friend!!

nhd106 said...

What's the C.A.T award??


midwestvintage said...

 I also want to know what the C.A.T. award is as I am a new reader.