There's Gotta Be A Better Plan !

I think I need to go back to training camp! Friday's escapade into AREA 51 started out innocently enough. I stopped by my pal, Emilio's house and after a cocktail and BS session, we headed over to Lakes Cafe for the evening soiree. Lakes was slow and after a while, I suggested that we "hit it" and we left.

I was searching for an address in my cell phone. When I looked up, I noticed we weren't on the long and winding road home, nay, we were on the way to The Billiards Club and there we stayed until..., about ......, I believe it was.... (I have no idea).

Saturday, I went to a birthday party and it seemed that again, I'd be home early. That is until someone brought out a domino table and it was downhill after that. I'd tell you what time I got home, but at the time, I was busy navigating my way to the front door and time was not an issue.

Sunday was a day of rest and recovery and I did not fully recover until this morning. Like I said, it may be time to go back to training camp. Two nights in a row was a little hectic.

The Belmont Stakes, the third leg of the Triple Crown, was run on Saturday and, alas, Big Brown just didn't have it. When asked to run entering the third turn, the colt labored and coming out of the  fourth turn, the jockey began easing up the gallant horse, knowing full well that his race was over. At this time, there are no reports of any injuries to the horse. 

The NASCAR Pocono 500 race on Sunday was won by Kasey Kahne, followed by Brian Vickers, Denny Hamlin, Dale Earnhardt Jr., and Jeff Burton. Kahne was the class of the field in Sunday's race. Point leaded Kyle Busch crashed early in the race and finished 43rd.

Jim McKay, long time announcer and sportscaster for ABC Wide World of Sports passed away Saturday at the age of 86. McKay is well remembered for his coverage of the 1972 Olympics when Palestinian terrorists took the Israeli weight lifting team hostage, resulting in the murder of the entire team.

The Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT Award) had many nominations last week, all of whom were more than merited.

Jude nominated Catholic priest Michael Pfleger who, while speaking in front of the Trinity United Church of Christ, made disparaging and racists remarks about Hillary Clinton. 

Sherry nominated the credit card companies, specifically Citibank, for their attempts to collect late fee payments from a woman who had been dead for two months.

Julie nominated the cold hearted, low life bastards who ran over a 76 year old man along with the numerous passersby who made little or no efforts to stop and care for the man.

It would be too easy to give the CAT Award to Michael Pfleger and as I have written before, this man could easily win the award every week. The judges (my cat Shithead and I) will, however, award him a dishonorable mention, keeping with the age old adage, "once an asshole, always an asshole."

In the case of the credit cards of Citibank and similar companies, who brazenly take every possible advantage of their cardholders, a dishonorable mention as well. It makes me wonder sometimes why consumers do not organize, pick any of these abusers at random, then cut and return the plastic to the bank with a note stating "when you screwed us, you screwed yourselves." Methinks doing this only once, these companies would sit up and pay attention.

Consequently, the judges have decided to award the Cat's Ass Trophy to the scumbags who hit the elderly man and left him paralyzed on the street together, along with the passersby who made no effort to come to the aid of the man. Congratulations people, way to set a great example of the Good Samaritan law.

The Pictures: A new car that runs on air. It's been available for a year. Made in India, the cost is about $12,000. Maybe we ought to rewrite the immigration law to read that each new immigrant from India bring one of these cars with them.

This Date In History: 1815; The Congress of Vienna closes, having restored the balance of power in Europe following the end of the Napoleonic Wars. 1870; British novelist Charles Dickens dies of a stroke at age 58. 1954; During televised Senate hearings called by Senator Joseph McCarthy to investigate foreign espionage in the U.S. Army, council Joseph Welch asks McCarthy, "Have you no sense of decency, sir?" 1973; Secretariat becomes the first horse to take the Triple Crown in 25 years when he runs the Belmont Stakes in a record time, winning by an outstanding 31 lengths. 1978; The Boston Celtics select Larry Bird with the sixth pick of the NBA draft.

Birthdays: Peter the Great, Russian tsar (1672), George Stephenson, inventor of the locomotive (1781), Elizabeth Garrett Anderson, first British woman physician (1836), Cole Porter, songwriter (1891), Robert McNamara, U.S. secretary of defense (1916).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Thanks to my pal, Garnett, for the following:

The seven dwarfs always left to go to work in the mine early each morning. As always, Snow White stayed home attending to her housework. As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their lunch and take it to the mine.

One day, as she arrived at the mine with their lunch, she saw that there had been a terrible cave-in. Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope, that the dwarfs had somehow survived.

She shouted out, "Hello? Hello? Can anyone hear me?" There was no reply. Losing hope, she shouted out again, "Hello? Can anyone hear me?"Just as she was about to give up hope, a faint voice called out, "Vote for Barack Obama! Vote for Barack Obama!"

Relieved, Snow White fell to her knees and began to pray, "Oh, thank you Lord, at least Dopey is still alive!"

That's it for today my little lima beans. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

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