Tuesday, June 24, 2008

We've Got A Winner !

I would like to thank everyone who helped and voted for my entry in Magic Smoke's "What's The Caption" contest last week. There were many good entries and it was very close. I'm pleased to say that my entry won, but the real winners are you, the people who read this journal. To all of those of you who I bribed, you should be receiving your payments in the mail. To all of my family members, who I had to pay dearly for voting for me, your just rewards will also be coming soon, but not in the mail. To the mailman that I bribed, alternate Plan B is now in effect. Thanks again for your help.

                                                          

I know soap operas are captivating, but a woman in Croatia, who had been missing since 1966, was found dead, sitting in her armchair in front of her black and white TV. Hedvika Golik was reported missing 42 years ago and neighbors say they thought she had moved away.

You would think it might have dawned on someone in the family to ask, "Have you seen mom?" Call me silly, but I would think right around the time the grass got waist high, somebody would have picked up a clue. I wonder if "All My Children" played over there?

From The I Love It Department: The Malibu beach where Mathew McConaughey surfs was the scene of brawl between the locals and the paparazzi scum who prey upon anything filmable regardless of safety. The locals jumped the paparazzi and proceeded to inflict physical harm and ruin their camera equipment. Nothing could please me more. Maybe if more people opened a can of Whoop-Ass on the jerks, they'd quit harassing people. Authors Note: There's a brief commercial before this videos plays.


                      Surfer Turf War: Click to watch

The Pictures: You've seen their good side, you know, the air-brushed pictures, their doctored press releases and the like. Now see their dark side, the unknown hidden secrets of animated characters. Warning: Not meant to be viewed by children over 75, wandering Jews, old-timers patients and people who have had a humor bypass.

This Date In History: 1314; In the Battle of Bannockburn, the decisive victory for Scottish independence. forces led by Robert Bruce, king of Scotland, defeat the troops of English king Edward II. 1901; Painter Pablo Picasso has his first exhibit in Paris at the age of 19. 1947; An American pilot reports seeing objects he describes as "saucers" flying near Mount Rainier in Washington, leading to the popular term "flying saucers." 1964; The Federal Trade Commission requires that a message be placed on all cigarette packages that warns consumers that cigarette smoking is dangerous to their health.

Birthdays: E. I. Du Pont de Nemours, French industrialist (1771), Jack Dempsey, professional boxer known as the Manessa Mauler for his Colorado hometown and aggressive style (1895).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My pal, Victor, was kind enough to provide today's jokes. 

The Lone Ranger is captured by Indians and the Chief says, "So you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be killed in three days. But first, I will give you three requests. What is your first request?"

The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse." The chief nods and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear and the horse gallops away.

Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's teepee and spends the night.

The next morning, the Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days. What is your second request?" The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him and once again he whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon.

Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a brunette, even more attractive than the blonde. She enters Lone Ranger's teepee and also spends the night.

The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed and says, "You are a man of many talents, but I still kill you tomorrow. What is your last request?" I'd like to speak to my horse.... alone." The Chief is curious but he agrees and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's teepee.

Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and yells, "Listen carefully, you dumb ass! For the last time...... Bring Posseeeee !

A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him and said, " Hi, my name's Carmen." The man said, "That's a beautiful name. Is it a family name?"

The woman said, "No, I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most, cars and men. What's your name?"

The man replied, "B. J. Titsengolf."

That's it for today my little tater tauts. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

15 comments:

garnett109 said...

Congrats on the win

midwestvintage said...

Congratulations on the win, of course I voted for ya.  Love the pictures.


                   Julie

mpnaz58 said...

Congrats on the winning caption!  I'll take a crisp new bill, please :)
xoxo ~myra

robinngabster said...

I'd heard you bribed Linda and I flat out told her that was CHEATING!  LOL

bamawmn46 said...

Congrats on the win, Jimmy!  I'm so glad I got in there and voted a few hundred times!  I can't wait to get my $2 million check from you!

I see no pictures, but that doesn't suprise me these days. My communication skills, both verbal and auditory are leaving a lot to be desired. And doesn't have anything to do with age. At least, mine.

Luv ya!
Jackie

bamawmn46 said...

Ok, the pics popped up after I left my comment.... so, never mind....

Jackie

rjsisti said...

I'm rolling on the floor laughing........love the Lone Ranger joke and of course the last joke about Carmen sent me running to the bathroom!  Oh my....I'm going to need to wear depends reading your Journals!  LOL

Congrats on your win!

Hugs, Rose

luvrte66 said...

Congrats on the win!

Beth

buckoclown said...

Congrats on winning the "What's the Caption" contest :o)

carouselqueen70 said...

Thank you for sharing the jokes. I needed the laugh. lol.. hugs, Christine

shrbrisc said...

Congrats you deserve the award
hugs
Sherry

lsfp1960 said...

Oh wow !! Congratulations !  I can't believe how those lovable innocent characters have been defiled in those pictures of yours.  Hwo did that?  I'm calling the ACLU !  LOL   Linda tapping away on her new keyboard.  

valphish said...

LOL  The Lone Ranger joke is funny!  Congrats again on winning the Caption Game!!  Wow, dead 42 years.  You have a cool place here.  I will be back.  Val =)
http://journals.aol.com/valphish/ThereisaSeason
http://journals.aol.com/valphish/JoyInTheRain

fowfies said...

Congratulations on your win! XOXO Kelly

fisherkristina said...

Congratulations on your "What's the Caption? Wednesday" contest!  Just stopping by to say hi!

Krissy :)
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink