The CAT Winner(s), Long and Winding Roads and Party Lights !

My Friday sojourn to AREA 51 at Lakes Cafe and Pub was fun and the inhabitants were having a good time when I arrived. There were a lot of good singers there including my talented pal, Gipsy, who always "wows" everyone. I ended up singing the great old James Taylor song, "You've Got A Friend" in duet with my gifted pal, Carol. It got hungry outside around 1:30. so we went for pizza, stayed out of trouble and I'm relatively sure I got home before 3:00 a.m.

                                                         

There were two nominees for the Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) award last week. Jackie nominated the press (in general) for their ridiculously ignorant attack on republican presidential candidate, John McCain.

Sherry nominated parents who allow small children to stand unrestricted in shopping carts. My first thoughts were that Sherry's nominees were funny. After reading her journal entry addressing the point, I understood her even better.

Furthermore on a brief, but necessary trip on Saturday at Publix, lo and behold, her point was established right in front of my eyes. Some nitwit excuse for a mother was pushing her child (who was standing) ina cart as she gabbed on the omnipresent cell phone.

As she turned the corner to enter the next aisle, she crashed head-on into another cart and the kid fell and hit his head on the side of the cart. Rather than immediately check out the child, she apologized for hitting the other cart, added a few parting thoughts on her cell phone and then checked the child (who was unhurt). Methinks parents should have to pass an IQ test in order to have a child.

All things considered, the co-winners of the CAT award are the press, for just being stupid and self serving, and the careless parents who aren't bright enough to protect their children from harm by restricting them in the same way as one would do while driving a car. Congratulations winners ! Keep up the bad work !

The Pictures: The long and winding....strange roads, are part of today's theme. My pal, Garnett, ever the bearer of good jokes and pictures was kind enough to send these interesting photographs. I found more pics of the Northern Lights to show you. I'm rather obsessed with their beauty as you may have surmised. As always, try to enlarge the photos and view them in the slide show format, as these thumbnails do not do them justice.

This Date In History: 1791; The United States Congress passes the nation's first tax law. The law divides the country into 14 tax zones and levies a duty on, among other things, distilled spirits. 1875; The opera "Carmen", written by French composer George Bizet, opens in Paris. 1831; The United States Senate makes the song, "Star Spangled Banner", written by Francis Scott Key, the national anthem of the United States. 1965; The motion picture"The Sound of Music", starring Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer, premieres in American movie theaters. 2008; Barack Obama, thankfully, has been sent from the heavens to take us to Nirvana. He now sounds like Rudy Giuliani, replacing Rudy's speeches of a noun, a verb and 9-11 to a noun, a verb and I didn't vote for the war. How clever ! Not one to boast about himself, he has submitted his new campaign picture to me so that I may show it to you.

                       

Birthdays: George Pullman, inventor (1831), Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone and teacher of the deaf (1847), Wee Willie Keeler, professional baseball player (1872), Mathew Ridgeway, army officer (1895), Jean Harlow, motion picture actress (1911).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A belated thought, it still has merit !

Happy Valentine's Day

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint, and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"

Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad.? Who do you want to give a valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden,"she says.

"Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks in shock.

"Well," she says, "I think that if Osama thought a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give him a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound pride.

"Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."

"I know,"Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could shoot the sorry bastard."

The Receptionist

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my penis," he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people.You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated. The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. The receptionist said, "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"

The man replied,  "I can't piss out of it."

That's it for today my little back spacers. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmys Journal, JimSulliv3, pshemmingway, AREA 51, Jimmys-MySpace, hamand cheese, Obama-Lama-Ding-Dong, The Hits Just Keep On Coming, ham and eggs, Cat's Ass Trophy, CAT Award