Thursday, March 27, 2008

Catting Around, A Cat Nominee And A Catfish In Peril !

The paperboy was right on time this morning and so was I. The only difference was that he was starting his day and I was ending mine from the previous day. I finally got my asp in gear around 8:00 yesterday and I headed off on my weekly Wednesday foray into AREA 51.

Last night's adventure was a bit different though, as I went to see my friend, Mercy. She had some musician friends at her house to "jam" and I joined in with them. We played and sang until around midnight and I left Mercy's shortly thereafter.

The next stop was Lakes Cafe and Pub, but by that time, most of the people had left. I chatted with my bartender pal, Kristi for a while and then it was time to hit the road. Of course, I ended up at Emilio's house and we played seven card stud (and I slayed him) until the wee hours.

Naturally, we return to the top of the page and lo and behold, there's the paperboy. He just looked at me and grinned.

My pal, Garnett, has a nomination Ronald Long from Sedalia, Missouri for this week's Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) award. The dufus admitted to accidentally (?) killing his wife while attempting to install satellite television cable. Rather than my trying to re-create the story, let me just show you the copy:

Ronald Long, was trying to use a .22-caliber pistol to shoot a hole through the wall in the couple's home to enable them to run a wire through to the television. His first shot was apparently unsuccessful in penetrating the wall and his second shot somehow hit his wife in the chest, 34-year-old Patsy Long. She was pronounced dead on Saturday night.

I second the nomination !

The Pictures: This week's pictures have all been stories of one kind or another so why break stride. Today's pictures are of a fisherman who was out fishing for catfish when he espied a red children's basketball floating on the water, or so he thought......

Since we're already out in the boat, there's this pink (yep, pink) dolphin for your perusal. Some of my favorite pictures complete today's pics along with two of my drawings for your review (be kind).

This Date In History: 1866; President Andrew Johnson vetoes the civil rights bill; it later becomes the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. 1912; First lady Helen Taft plants the first Japanese cherry trees in Washington, D.C. 1917; The Seattle Metropolitans become the first U.S. hockey team to win the Stanley Cup. 1958; Nikita Khruschev becomes the prime minister of the Soviet Union. 1973; Marlon Brando refuses his Oscar for the "The Godfather' in protest of Hollywood's treatment of Native Americans.

Birthdays:William Conrad Roentgen, physicist (1845), Gloria Swanson, actress (1899), James Callaghan, British prime minister (1912), Cyrus Vance, U.S. Secretary of State (1917), Sarah Vaughn, one of the premier jazz singers of the 20th century (1924), Quentin Tarantino, film director, screenwriter and actor (1963).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A guy was traveling through Mexico on vacation when he lost his wallet and all identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home but was stopped by the Customs Agent at the Tijuana border.

The Customs Agent said, "May I see your identification, please?" The guy says, "I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet." The agent replies, "Sure buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no crossing the border."

The guy says, "But I can prove I'm an American. I have a picture of Barack Obama tattooed on one butt cheek and a picture of Rev. Jeremiah Wright on the other butt cheek. The agent says, "This I gotta see."

With that, the guy drops his pants and bends over in front of the agent. The agent says, "By golly, you're right!Well go on home to Detroit and have a safe trip. The guy says, "Thanks, but how did you know I was from Detroit?"

The agent says, "Well, judging from your choice of the pictures of Obama and Wright, I assumed that's where you lived, but I was sure of it when I recognized the picture of Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick in the middle."

Alarming Traffic

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day.

So one day Farmer John called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens."

The sheriff asked, "What do you want me to do?" Farmer John replied, "I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers !"

So the next day he had the county workers go out and erected a sign that said:

SLOWSCHOOL CROSSING

Three days later Farmer John called the sheriff and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The 'school crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster." So, again, the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new sign:

SLOWCHILDREN AT PLAY

That really sped them up. So Farmer John called and called and called every day for three weeks. Finally, he asked the sheriff, "Your signs are doing no good. Can I put up my own sign?" The sheriff told him, "Sure thing, put up your own sign." The sheriff got no more calls from Farmer John.

Three weeks later, curiosity go the best of the sheriff and he decided to give Farmer John a call. "How's the problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?" "Oh, I sure did and not one chicken has been killed since then.

The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to himself, "I'd better go out there and take a look at that sign... it might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers..."

So the sheriff drove out to Farmer John's house, and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign. It was spray-painted on a sheet of wood:

NUDIST COLONY - Go slow and watch out forthe chicks!

That's it for today my little pooper scoopers. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

7 comments:

lsfp1960 said...

I like the Farmer John joke...that's a good one !  I emailed my ex down in Amboy and asked if he had any more information on the D.B. Cooper parachute thing other than what we've heard in the news.  No word yet....Linda in cold & snowy Washington  

garnett109 said...

hey jimmy was that a 22 short bullet or a 22 long

luvrte66 said...

I gotta agree with the CAT nominee--that was just plain stoopid.

Beth

bamawmn46 said...

Soon, you and the paperboy will be on first-name basis, if you are not already. I third the nominee for the CAT award and hope no one really buys that story in court.

I have to say, Jimmy, your art work is surprisingly wonderful! I liked them both, but especially the 2nd picture. I do have to ask, though... did you do them some morning after running into the paperboy??

I gotta tell you, my asp is dragging tonight... I sure am glad tomorrow is Friday!!

Have a good one!!

Jackie

garnett109 said...

that is one hell of a fish

midwestvintage said...

  Huge fish, hummm where's the chips?   Great shots.  I agree on the nomination also.

                 Julie

mpnaz58 said...

Bet that paperboy has some stories to tell!!  Glad your car is still up and running!
xoxo ~Myra