Thursday, March 6, 2008

When In Doubt, Forget About "Pressing Issues" !

I wish I could tell you that I stayed home, like a good boy, last evening. I wish I could say that I went to bed before 5:00 this morning. I wish even more that my monitor  was crisp and clear today. I wish I could say that my hair doesn't hurt and I think there are still body parts that I must search for today in order to navigate around my humble abode, but I cannot.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil. I have, however, misplaced my rod and my staff. My cup, indeed, ranneth over and I will dwell in my house until such time as I regain at least fifty percent of the use of my body.

Although my original intent was to stay home last evening to resolve pressing issues, I was moved last evening when I read a comment by my pal, Myra, to wit:

Ya' know, sometimes those "pressing issues", resolve themselves if you neglect them long enough!
xoxo ~Myra

I saw the light and took heed of this message, knowing full well I had received a message from a memberof AREA 51 and that I must carry the flag into the foray.

I never made it to Lakes Cafe and Pub, mostly due to the fact that my pal, Emilio, called and suggested we play a game or two of dominoes. He beat me severely, eight games to three, including one game in which I failed to score the first point. In retrospect, he lost at least one third of a bottle of his Johnny Walker Blue, which retails at close to $200 a bottle. Daddy didn't raise a very good domino player but by the same token, he didn't raise an idiot.

Strange Thoughts: Sometimes words just strike me funny. Everyday words sometimes evoke visualizations in my mind. Being a stickler for proper English, I submit the following for your review and comments. On CNN today, they were addressing some inane subject and I heard a woman say, "There will be ramifications."

                     

What the hell? Is this cause for concern? Who is the ramificator and who will be the ramificatee. Will it hurt? Should I break out the KY jelly? And, other than the obvious, what other use does KY jelly have?

I don't like these allegations and I certainly don't like the alligator, hence the following visualization (surely you rant...shutup and quit calling me Shirley):

                           

The Pictures: I was reading an entry from my pal, Julie, ("Julie Loses It") today and she posted some great flower pictures and I sto...er, borrowed them for today's pictures. Then, I realized that I also have some great flower pictures from my pal, Nancy, ("Nancy Loves Pix") which I procured in the same manner. So today's theme is pictures. You can access both of these lovely ladies' journals by clicking the links on my sidebar.  

This Date In History: 1834; Toronto, Ontario (originally called York), is incorporated as a city. 1836; About 170 Texans perish at the Alamo in San Antonio, Texas, when approximately 3,000 Mexicans commanded by general Antonio Lopes de Santa Ana overrun the Republic of Texas garrison. 1857; The United States Supreme Court rules on the Dred Scott case, declaring that Negroes are not U.S. citizens. The decision intensifies ongoing debates about slavery 1930; Clarence Birdseye, food expert, industrialist and inventor, introduces prepackaged, quick-frozen food to American consumers. 1981; Walter Cronkite, longtime anchor of the CBS evening news, signs off for the last time.

Birthdays: Michelangelo, Italian painter, sculptor, architect and poet (1475), Elizabeth Barrett Browning, English poet and feminist (1806), Philip Henry Sheridan, Civil War army commander (1831), Oscar Strauss, Austrian composer (1870), Lou Costello, comedian and actor (1906), Valentina Tereshkova, Soviet cosmonaut and first woman to fly into space(1937), Willie Stargell, professional baseball player (1940).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My pal, Jackie, sent me this story.

An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living the last of his life in a nursing Home.

One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong. "Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Wallace, "My Private Part died today and I am very sad."

Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace, please accept my condolences."

The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out of his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy. "Mr. Wallace," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas."

"But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Wallace, "I told you yesterday that my Private Part died."

Nurse Tracy said, "Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of you pajamas?"

"Well," he replied, "Today's the viewing."

And From Jimmy's Corner:  Men will never learn...

A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says,"Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking "isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you a ticket."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

The woman replies, "That's true, but you have all the equipment."

That's it for today my little bobby soxers. More tomorrow.

StayTuned !

7 comments:

luvrte66 said...

Wow, hope you're feeling better. I GET UP at 5 AM, I don't go to bed then! Are you insane?! Ha!

Beth

nhd106 said...

Ah...flowers.    Brings hope to this cold, snowy winter (at least HERE)!  thanks for the mention.   I can't wait to see what spring pics await me around here.

Nancy

garnett109 said...

Yazzda freakin' 200 hundred a bottle for piss lol!

midwestvintage said...

 Great jokes again and my pics look great.  Thanks for featuring me.

                         Julie

bamawmn46 said...

Great pics of flowers, and my favorites are the sunflowers!!
By the time you read this, you will probably be considering a little of the 'hair of the dog'..... (what excatly does that mean???)

Jack

mpnaz58 said...

At least you didn't say it was my fault for your "hurt and pain" today!  You know what they say..."all work and no play, make Jimmy a dull boy"...and you, my friend, are not dull!!!  Hope you feel better, just in time for the weekend!
xoxo ~Myra

shrbrisc said...

and you know what she would be believed lol I love the veiwing I am just hoping while I am on my mission next week nothing gets veiwed lol have a great week and keep them coming
hugs
Sherry