Hello and welcome to the Mundane Monday Cafe. My name's Jimmy and I'll be your server today. I am alive and well and survived my Friday escapade into AREA 51, which turned out to be a variety of destinations including Lakes Cafe and some domino playing. I got home somewhere in the a.m., the exact time is a little vague, but I did observe the paper boy tossing newspapers while walking from my car to my humble abode.
Today's Thoughts: My pal, Victor, sent me some thoughts that I found interesting and I'd like to share them with you:
Now that food has replaced my sex life, I can't even get into my own pants. I saw a woman wearing a bulging shirt that said Guess, so I said 'implants?'. How come we have to choose between two people for president and over fifty for Miss America? I signed up for an exercise class and they said wear 'loose fitting' clothing. If I had loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up for the class in the first place. When I was young , we used to go 'skinny dipping'. Now, I just chunky dunk". Why is it that some people can't read a bible in school but they can in prison? Brain cells come and go, but fat cells live forever.
There was only one nominee for the CAT award last week and it was submitted by my pal, Garnett. His nominee is Lance Corporal David Motari, a United States Marine currently stationed inIraq. Oddly enough, I had heard about Corporal Motari's actions and for some unknown reason, it slipped my mind, My thanks to Garnett for reminding me of Motari's recent video.
There is a video currently circulating on the Internet showing Corporal Motari holding a puppy, mugging for the camera, then throwing the puppy over a cliff. While the majority of men and women serving their country are honorable people, there is always one rotten apple in the barrel.
I have not seen, nor do I wish to see the video. From the reports that I have read, there is some question as to the authenticity of the video. Whether the video is authentic or fake, as some have suggested, the mere thought that someone thinks that killing a puppy is funny is enough cause for said someone to be bitchslapped. Furthermore, I question the intelligence of someone who would do such a thing and videotape it.
All things considered,the winner of the Cat's Ass Trophy for last week is Corporal David Motari. Thanks for making us proud of you!
The Pictures: Sunrises and sunsets, that's what's on my mind, since we "sprang forward" this weekend.
This Date In History: 1849; Abraham Lincoln applies for a patent. Heis the first United States president to do so. 1862; The first paper money in the United States is issued. 1876; Alexander Graham Bell transmits the first message by voice over wire using his newly invented telephone. 1880; The Salvation Army, previously based only in England, is established in the United States. 1971; Indira Gandhi's Congress Party wins a landslide victory in the Indian general election.
Birthdays: Lillian Wald, nurse and social worker (1867), Arthur Honnegar, composer (1892), Bix Beiderbecke, jazz cornetist, pianist and composer (1903), Kim Campbell, 19th prime minister of Canada and first woman to hold the office (1947), Shannon Miller, gymnast (1977).
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: From my pal, Anne, more of.....
He sets low personal standards and consistently fails to achieve them. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. This employee should go far and the sooner, the better. He has a full six-pack but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus. He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless. She doesn't have ulcers, but she's a carrier. He would argue with a signpost. She has a knack for making strangers immediately.
Bet you didn't know..
There is a certain group, caste, or religion in India where the women have a little red dot on their forehead. You have probably wondered what this is for.
The answer is very simple. When they get married their husband gets to scratch it off to see if he has won a convenience store, gas station or a motel in America.
That's it for today my little poker players.More tomorrow.
Stay Tuned !