Lowlifes - We Need To Thin The Herd !

It's Humpty Dump Day and a fine one it is, fine enough to warrant hitching up the wagon and headin' over to AREA 51. I do not intend to try and equal last Wednesday's jaunt, as I have done all the springing in the past few weeks that I can tolerate. It's starts to get a little scary when the paperboy knows you by your first name.

Although I always start my journeys with the best intentions, I have been known to occasionally stray from the game plan. Sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Fortunately, like most good quarterbacks, I have all the plays written on ny wristband and I'm a good scrambler (especially with eggs..shutup !) 

New York Governor Eliot "Client #9" Spitzer resigned today. The pompous, crime fighter(?), who previously introduced legislation against prostitution went quietly into the night after a brief and unmoving speech. It reminds me of an old phrase that I vaguely remember being taught to me by my father, "Be careful if you spit too high, it may fall back on top of you".

It does bring to mind, however, a potential problems... like at the proverbial line at the deli or meat counter where you take a ticket to be served in order....., "Next, number nine....client number nine?" Uh....., no, I'm just waiting for a friend..." ~or~ "I'd like to dedicate this song to my favorite client. It's an oldie-goldie called 'Love Potion Number Nine."

They have arrested 21 year old Demario James Atwater in the murder of 22 year old Eve Carson, the University of North Carolina co-ed. Another suspect, 17 year old Lawrence Alvin Lovett Jr, is still at large. These two street monkeys used Ms. Carson's ATM card at a bank and again at a convenience store. Being the illiterate little bastards that they are, the pictures from the store videos easily identified the pair. The following are the pictures of Atwater (seen in the convenience store) and Lovett (the driver in the car).

                 

                               

The Pictures: Posters and Signs....that's today's theme, mementos from some of the warped little crevices where I dig up some of the crazy thoughts of photoshop artists. I hope you enjoy them. 

This Date In History: 1912; The Girl Scouts of the United States of America is founded. 1933; President Franklin D. Roosevelt holds his first fireside chat by radio, to encourage support fort the New Deal. 1938; The Anschluss (annexation) of Austria takes place when German troops invade and occupy the country and a Nazi government is formed. 1969; Paul McCartney and Linda Eastman marry.

Birthdays: George Berkeley, Irish philosopher and clergyman (1685), Jack Kerouac, American writer (1922), Edward Albee, playwright (1928), Liza Minelli, actor, singer and dancer (1946).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My pal, Garnett sent me this information which determines " You may be a member of the Taliban if....

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You've ever uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."
10. You have nothing against women, and think every man should own at least one.
11. You bathe at least monthly, whether necessary or not.
12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

Polish firing squad

Three women were about to be executed by a polish firing squad. One was a brunette, one a redhead, and the other a blonde.

They bring up the brunette and the guard asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the guard shouts, Ready..... Aim....!! and suddenly the brunette and yells, "TIDAL WAVE". Everyone looks behind them and she runs off.

So they bring up the redhead and ask if she has any last requests. She says no, so the guard shouts, Ready... Aim....!! and suddenly she yells, "TORNADO" and everybody turns around and she runs off.

Well, by then, the blonde has figured out what to do. So they bring her up and she is asked if she has any last requests. She says no, so the guard turns and shouts, Ready.... Aim...!! and the blonde yells, "FIRE".

That's it for today my little nanny goats. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmys Journal, JimSulliv3, AREA 51, pshemmingway, Possums Journal, ham and cheese, Jimmys-MySpace, Stay Tuned, The Hits Just Keep On Coming, ham and eggs