Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Stand Up, America ! Sometimes You Just Have To Say "Hmmm" !

Today is Humpday. It's the time of the week where the weekend starts to mentally come into view. You know that you have to work tomorrow, but, what the hell, my little rum runners, let's party !



Before you start preparing for a trip to AREA 51, there's something I'd like to go over with you. The following is part of an email I received today, which I have edited and revised (believe it or not, I toned it down).

I am of the opinion that this is something that the assholes who are running for president should be discussing instead of the ass-kissing rhetoric and mud-slinging that they are wont to do. So, sit down and digest these thoughts while I try to get Barack Obama's head out of Okra, I mean Oprah's fat ass:

Certain people are angry that the U.S. might protect its own borders, might make it harder to illegally enter this country and, once here, stay indefinitely.

Recently, large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration. Let me see if I correctly understand the reasoning behind these protests.

Lets say I break into your house. Lets say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave. But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes. I did the laundry and swept the floors. I've done all of the things you don't like to do. I'm hard working and honest (except the fact that I broke into your house)."

According to the protesters:

You Are Required to let me stay in your house. You are required to add me to your insurance plan. You are required to educate my kids. You are required to provide other benefits to me and my family (my husband will do all of your yard work because he is also hard working and honest, except for that breaking in part).

If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my right to be here. It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I have, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm a hard working and honest person, except for, well, you know, I did break into your house. Oh, by the way, I get a free education, too !

I intend to live in your house and contribute only a fraction of the cost of my keep and there is nothing you can do about it, without being accused of having cold, uncaring, selfish, prejudiced and bigoted behavior.

One more thing, I demand that you learn my language, so you can communicate with me. Don't forget to make sure your forms and documents are printed in my language too. I need to understand them.

The Pictures: They're a little bit different today, so take a ride on the Reading, go directly to jail, do not pass go, but you can collect $200. If you land on Park Place, though, you'll have to pay me. No, Anne, it's not George, it's his brother (stop laughing, Jackie). 

This Date In History: 1899;The golf tee is patented. 1901; The first transatlantic radio transmission is received. 1937; Japanese warplanes sink the U.S. gunboat Panay during the battle of Nanking, China, in the Sino-Japanese War. 1989; The United Nations adopts the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

Birthdays: John Jay, American statesman and jurist (1745), Gustave Flaubert, French writer (1821), Edvard Munch, Norwegian artist (1863), Edward G. Robinson, American motion picture actor (1893), Frank Sinatra, singer and actor (1915).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Barack Obama was seated next to Little Johnny on a plane. He turned to Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to Obama, "What would you like to discuss?" Obama said, "I don't know, since I'm in politics, how about the presidential race?"

Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" Obama said. "Since I have no experience in that field, I have no idea."

Little Johnny said, "Well then, how is it that you feel qualified to discuss the presidential race when you don't know shit?"

That's it for today, my little Christmas carols. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !


ksquester said...

GREAT joke and I love the "fire in the hole" picturel Anne

bamawmn46 said...

How did you know I was laughing??? <grin>... you're right... i was

Cute joke, great pics.. the funniest pic is the cat getting the bath and one of the most interesting is #28.... look it up...

Enjoy tonight!!

nhd106 said...

I'll have to give you my opinion another time...right now I'm worried about Shanti...ANd I'm busy chatting with YOU!!

: )

garnett109 said...

great stuff jim thanks!

roneill000 said...

Assholes require

lanurseprn said...

I love your take on immigration. I never thought of it like that....but you are RIGHT! LOL!
Hope you have a good night.

mpnaz58 said...

Very well said.  I'm all for people "bettering themselves" in the US, LEGALLY!!  There is a process.  It may be lengthy, maybe expensive, but anything worth having is never easy.  
xoxo ~Myra