Friday, November 30, 2007

Home, Home On The Rage !

Today is normally the day that I'm out and about, seeing my pals in AREA 51 but, all of my body parts aren't cooperating. My knee and ankle are not up to snuff yet, so I'll be sidelined tonight. I really don't like being home on Fridays against my will ! 


Nevertheless, it's Friday and the last day of November and you know what's next. Their messages and tales of woe already started arriving by mail and email. Next, you'll see them on the sidewalks, hands extended, wishing you a Merry Christmas while eyeing your wallet. In the malls and stores everywhere, they post imaginative tales and erect signs of good tidings as they try to lure your greenbacks into their coffers. Eventually they lull you into a sense of the holiday spirit and voila, they have your money.

And where are these people on December 26th? Open for business and telling you that this time, they've really got deals for you. Such a deal ! I speak about Maceys and Sears, Walmart and Target, Laurel and Hardy, Winn-Dixie and Publix, Donner and Blitzen, Best Buy and Radio Shack, Cheech and Chong, and all the other people who utilize this time of year and in a spirit with which it shouldn't come. Their commercials, flyers, emails, handouts, begging, and pleading are all vieing for your hard earned dollars. They target children, grandmothers, mothers, fathers, grandfathers, skydivers, and injured journalists, searching for a weak link in the chain.

They're all out there, murderers, thieves, scumbags, neanderthals, attorneys (redundant), lowlifes, con men, scammers, robbers, skydivers, IRS agents, tree trimmers, cartoonists, sex slaves and stutterers. You also have be alert outside the stores, as well. Yes, my little shopping bags, tomorrow begins the season to be jolly !

The Pictures: I have more of the fine photographs from the same portfolio as yesterday. While I am trying to insert only photographs from the collection, I'm also itching to throw in a few of the "ususal suspects". Keep your eyes (and grapes) peeled for any "ringers".

This Date In History: 1782; A preliminary peace treaty between the colonies and England is signed in Paris, France. 1918; Denmark recognizes Iceland as an independant kingdom. 1939; Russia invades Finland beginning the Russo-Finnish War. 1954; In Alabama, a meteorite crashes though a house into the living room, striking a woman in the hip. Jackie was uninjured as she had yet to be born. 

Birthdays: Johnathon Swift, writer and author of "Gulliver's Travels" (1667), Mark Twain, pen name of Samuel Clemens, writer and humorist (1836), Winston Churchill, prime minister of the United Kingdom (1874).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and was on the verge of being burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to change careers and become a mechanic.

He found out from the local technical college what was involved, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying,

"I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there had been an error which needed adjusting.

The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also
worth 50% of the mark."

The instructor went on to say, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it through the muffler!"
That's it for today, my little prairie dogs. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !


garnett109 said...

Loved the Joke, keep em coming!

bamawmn46 said...

I really enjoyed the pics today, Jimmy. I hope you are up and hopping down to Area 51 soon!!


luvrte66 said...

Hope you're on the mend!