Tuesday, November 27, 2007

The Bathroom Fumble !

I missed yesterday's entry due to my agility and because of the natural athletic co-ordination with which I am gifted. Let us return to the scene of the incident for review. As I was watching the football game on Sunday afternoon, there was a break in the action and I made the decision to take a quick bathroom break. Knowing the football time out is normally one to two minutes, I casually strolled toward my bathroom goal line and called a play for the quarterback, Ralph Sullivan.

The receiver was prepared and the play called for a fake to the tight end and then a quick p*ss to the receiver. Unfortunately, Ralph fumbled and the center was late with the snap, causing a delay of game. Upon final execution of my bathroom play and the ensuing celebration, I heard the game on television had resumed.

In my haste to return to the living room and see the next play, I mistakenly thought the right side of the doorway was wider than it was and attempted to pass through a non-existing space, thus slightly injuring my shoulder and my knee. I still do not know who won the football game on television, but due to Ralph's bathroom fumble, my final score was Bathroom 1, Jimmy 0. Today is the first day that I have been able to sit in one postion for more than five minutes.

Odds And Ends: On November 24th, a Norwegian passenger ship, the M/S Explorer, with 154 passengers aboard hit an iceberg off King George Island in Antartica. Fortunately, the captain ran the ship aground and everyone was safely taken to other nearby rescue ships.

My question is, did anyone besides myself, see the movie, Titanic? I mean, duh? Sailing a passenger ship near iceberg filled Antartica? Methinks that there were probably 155 passengers on board, 'cause some broad with a jeweled necklace was found sitting on top of a wooden crate, yelling, "I ain't moving my fat ass off this crate and I ain't sharing !"

The Pictures: Todays pictures are a quick hodgepodge which I put together while my pained knee sits patiently telling me that I shouldn't be overly creative today. This being the final thing that I do before completing my daily entry, the results are that I like the pictures, but didn't enter as many as usual.

This Date In History: 1779; The Pennsylvania State government converts the College of Philadelphia into the University of the State of Pennsylvania, thus creating both America's first state school and the first official University. 1901; The Army War College is authorized by the U.S. Department of War. 1924; New York City's Macy's department store holds it's first Thanksgiving Day parade down a two mile stretch of Broadway from Central Park to Herald Square.

Birthdays: James Agee, writer (1909), Bruce Lee, Chinese American actor (1940), Jimi Hendrix, rock guitarist (1942).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa ! You need to go out and fix the outhouse !" Pa replies. There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse."Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it."
 
So......Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse! " Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"
 
Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!" Ma says, "Ya have to stick  yur head in the hole to see what to fix."
 
So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!"
 
Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!" Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, "Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"
 
To which Ma replies, "Hurt's, don't it ?!"
 
That's it for today my little honeydippers. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

8 comments:

mpnaz58 said...

Think that'll be on ESPN as "play of the week"?  Ouch...
xoxo ~Myra

bamawmn46 said...

Bathroom/Outhouse joke for the winning team in the Sullivan household, I see! Hope you're up and about faster than the weekend cometh! Nothing like a pain in the as... I mean, knee, to keep you hopping.

I noticed a lot of the pictures you selected are foggy or cloudy. Does that make reference to anything special?? <grin>

Luv ya!!
Jackie

nhd106 said...

Sorry you got hurt!   take good care, ok?

Nance

luvrte66 said...

I can't tell you how many times I've bruised my shoulders by cutting a corner too soon and ramming myself into the wall. It's natural klutziness, and I empathize. Hope you're feeling better!

Beth

ksquester said...

OUCH, I hate it when that happens.    Anne

garnett109 said...

Hope that old football injury heals

mumma4evr said...

LOL...loved the joke!!!  When i was a kid, we lived on a farm for a while...and we had an outhouse!  
Becky

lanurseprn said...

LOVED the joke!!!
Sorry you got hurt, Jimmy! Some football game huh?
Pam