Oops ! Not always a word you want to hear. I mean if you're at the dentist, you just don't wanna hear "oops"! If you're at your Doctor's office and the nurse is drawing blood, you don't wanna hear "oops". And, of course, when one is in the boudoir, I mean, cracker, Please !
In my case, it was last evening around 11:15 p.m. No, I wasn't in the boudoir, I was in my recliner and the phone rang. "Where the hell are you? You'd better be getting la...." I didn't believe it ! The last thing I remember was sitting in my recliner and watching the Nascar Busch Race at Bristol, Tennessee and..........COMA !
Yes, my little butterbeans, Mr. James slipped silently into oblivion, fully coifed, cologned and dressed. Just before leaving for AREA 51 at Lakes Cafe and Pub, I sat down to watch what had happened in a wreck and it got interesting. The next thing I knew the phone was ringing and people were yelling at me. I wanted to give a sexy, elaborate reason why I was not there, but due to the fact that I don't wake up in a good mental state, I managed to blurt out, "I fell asleep in my chair". How exciting !
I Started Out As A Child: I remember during the Hurricane of 1948 or 1949 (too young to remember) and Dad took us from our home near Tamiami Trail, which in those days was almost in the Everglades, to Doctor Roberts' Hotel to pass the storm. The next day, at home, Mom wanted to get the mail, but it was flooded so bad that she would have to wade to the mailbox.
The problem was that critters such as alligators, snakes and rats were also seeking higher ground and she was afraid. So she took the two square washing tubs that received the clothes from the ringer on the washing machine and tied them together with rope. She put my brother in one tub and me in the other. She then tied the two tubs to her waist and with meat cleaver in hand, waded to the mailbox, my brother and I floating in tow, and got the mail. I remember that as if it were yesterday.
The Pictures: A place that I have been many times, Emerald Bay in Lake Tahoe, Nevada. There's an island in the bay on which a castle was built by a man for his bride-to-be and she never came. What a pity. There's female polar bear and her cub, some excellent shots of Arizona and an assortment of interesting creatures, including a sexy little goddess with an exciting mane.
This Date In History: 1718; French Colonists in Louisiana establish a settlement named for Duc d'Orleans, regent of France, which will become the city of New Orleans. 1825; Uraguay declares itself independent from Brazil. 1944; American Troops, along with Free French and French Resistance, liberate Paris from Germany.
Birthdays: Ivan the Terrible, Russian Tsar (1530), Allan Pinkerton, detective (1819), Clara Bow, actress (1905), Leonard Bernstein, composer and conductor (1918), Sean Connery, actor (1930).
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Smart Ass Answers (Thanks, Tania)
It was mealtime on Hooters Airlines. The flight attendant asked John, "Would you like dinner?" John asked, "What are my choices?" The attendant replied, "Yes or no."
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check for tickets. A man approached and as the attendant extended her hand for his ticket, he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat the attendant said, "I want to see your ticket, sir, not your stub."
An elderly lady was looking through the frozen turkeys at the super market, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She said to the stock clerk, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?". The clerk replied, "No Ma'am, They're all dead !"
The teacher, reminding her students of tomorrow's exam, said, "I won't take any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might accept personal injury or a death in the family, but that's about it."
A smart ass guy in the rear of the class said, "What if I say to you tomorrow that I am suffering from complete sexual exhaustion?" The entire class roared with laughter.
The teacher smiled at the student knowingly and said, " In that case, I guess you'll have to write the exam with your other hand."
That's it for today, my little scallions. Have a great weekend and more on Monday.
Stay Tuned !