It's Hump Day And I Can Bearly Stand the Suspense

It's Hump Day and a well deserved break in the hectic work week. I'm looking forward to easing on over to AREA 51 for happy hour this evening. With all the hurricanes we have wandering around this area, it's a bit difficult to plan my weekly treks, but where there's a will, there's a way. 

The trial of O.J. Simpson begins on September 8th and will be covered in its entirety by CNN. Simpson was arrested and charged with seven felony counts of armed robbery and kidnapping in September of 2007. I wonder if they'll finally nail his sorry ass this time.

It didn't take too long for the street monkeys to begin looting in New Orleans. It was reported by CNN that a group of looters have been roaming the streets and shooting at National Guard Troops. This crap would stop overnight if the National Guard and police just shoot looters on sight, but that, of course, would violate their civil rights and we surely wouldn't want to do that.

Actor and country music star, Jerry Reed, of Smokey and The Bandit fame, died August 31st at the age of 71. Reed had a hit song in the 70's called "When You're Hot, You're Hot," and another top ten song called "East Bound and down" from the Smokey and the Bandit movies.

Is It Just Me? The media doesn't dwell or delve into Barrack Obama's admitted drug use as a young man but they're all over Sarah Palin's daughter for being pregnant? Hurricane Gustav hits the gulf coast and all of the hundreds of oil rigs and the price of oil goes down? Did anyone carefully read yesterday's "Birthdays?" Eye think (therefore, I am) ewe should reed between the lions. There's just something about (Mary?) that Hawaiian queen and her sisters.

                  

The Pictures: Thanks to my pal, Andy, for today's pictures, which he has aptly titled "The Next Time, I'll Take The Pictures And You Let The F**king Bear Loose."

This Date In History: 1658; Lord Protector Oliver Cromwell, leader of the English Revolution of Parliament against the monarchy, dies on the anniversary of his greatest military victories, at Dunbar in 1650 and Worcester in 1651. 1783; The Treaty of Paris is signed between Britain on one side and France, Spain and the United States on the other, ending the American Revolution.

1939; Two days after Nazi Germany's invasion of Poland, France and Britain enter into World War II by declaring war on Germany. 1976; The U.S. Viking 2 spacecraft lands on the surface of Mars, where it analyzes the soil and climate and sends back some of the first close-up photographs of the planet.

Birthdays: Sarah Orne Jewitt, writer (1849), Louis Sullivan, architect (1856), Loren Eisley, anthropologist (1907), Alison Lurie, writer and Pulitzer Prize winner (1926), Caryl Churchill, playwright (1938).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A doctor was examining an elderly female patient. He put his stethoscope on the patient's chest and said, "Big breaths." The patient replied, "They used to be."

While acquainting himself with an elderly female patient, the doctor asked, "Have you ever been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion, the patient said, "Not for about twenty-four years ago when my husband was alive."

The nurse said to the elderly male patient, "How did you like your breakfast?" The patient said, "It was good for the most part, but I can't seem to get used to the taste of that KY Jelly on the toast."

Mr. Smith went to the doctor's office to pick up his wife's test results. The doctors says, "I'm sorry sir but we have a problem. Your wife's test samples, as well as the test samples from another Mrs. Smith, were sent to the lab and they got mixed up. Frankly, that's either bad or terrible.""

Mr. Smith says, "What does that mean?" The doctor say, "Well, one Mrs. Smith tested positive for Alzheimer's disease and the other Mrs. Smith tested positive for venereal disease."

Mr. Smith says, "Can she take the tests again?" The doctor replied, "Normally, yes, but you have a HMO and they wont pay for those expensive tests, more than once."

Mr. Smith says, "What should I do?" The doctor says, "The HMO recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town and if she finds her way home, don't sleep with her."

                            

That's it for today my little fried green tomatoes. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, JimSulliv3, Possums Journal, Jimmys AREA 51, Jerry Reed, ham and cheese, fried green tomatos, Hurricane Ike, Jimmys Pictures, My Perfect Martini, Comedy, John McCain