Wednesday, July 30, 2008

It's Wednesday And Time To Head To The AREA 51 Oasis !

Today is Hump Day, from the Latin, Humpus Deus, id est, et cetera, et e pluribus Unum (not to mention AFL-CIO). Roughly translated, it is the acme of the work week where mature boys and girls take a mini-break from the trials and tribulations of life and gather at their prospective social areas and watering holes for rest and recreation.

One must be careful, however, to restrict one's social actions at said gatherings or face possible recourse, as witnessed by the story of the alley cat, to wit:

An alley cat approached a railroad crossing precisely at the time a train was barreling down the tracks. Thinking he could beat the train, the cat dashed in front of the train and his tail was promptly cut off by the passing train.

The cat turned to see his tail lying there on the tracks and decided to retrieve the tail so that he could take it to the vet and have it re-attached. As he stepped onto the tracks, a second train then severed that cat's head off.

The Moral Of The Story: Don't lose your head over a piece of tail !

With today's lesson firmly embedded in my mind, I will be moseying over to AREA 51 this evening, being keenly alert and wary of any trains, railroad tracks or alley cats that obstruct or cross my path. Hopefully, the ladies will be doing same.

                                                Cool Cat

I still have not been able to successfully resolve my "mission" issues and now even my car is joining in the harassment as it has been running poorly. Then again, some days I can't run and chew gum at the same time, so maybe August will bring better fortunes. We'll see.

Do You Know Why? A man went to a coin dealer and presented for sale an amazingly well preserved coin from the Roman era dated 65 B.C. The man was arrested for forgery. Why? The answer is in today's entry.

The Pictures: One of my favorite subjects, I present for your dining and dancing pleasure, the all knowing, all seeing, star of radio, film and television, Barrack Hussein Obama.

I have been unable from day one to withstand his arrogant, narcissistic belief that a wet behind the ears, first term senator, could just step into the presidency at will.

This NBA mentality is beyond my comprehension and the poor sheep looking for veracity, solace and nirvana in his words boggle my mind even more.

                                                                    Obama Lama

That said, even the photographers, lampooners and cartoonist are picking up what I have said for months. Take a look.

This Date In History: 65 B.C.; Coinage in the Roman Era would not have the initials B.C. on them because they could not have foreseen the coming of Christ. 1619; The Virginia House of Burgesses, the first representative assembly in the American colonies, opens in Jamestown, Virginia. 1935; The first Penguin paperback book is published, an early step in the paperback revolution that would take off after World War II.

1963; The Soviet news service reports that British intelligence officer, Kim Philby, recently revealed as a longtime Soviet spy, has defected to the USSR. 1965; President Lyndon Johnson signs the legislation creating the Medicare system, which establishes limited medical benefits for people 65 years of age or over.

Birthdays: Emily Bronte, novelist (1818), Henry Ford, car manufacturer (1863), Vladimir Zworykin, developer of television (1889), Casey Stengel, baseball player and manager (1890), Henry Moore, sculptor (1898), Arnold Schwarzeneggar, body builder, pseudo actor and half-assed governor of California (1947).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the RR tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn't know what it was. Predictably, he's hit and is thrown, ass-over-tea-kettle, to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.

After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man, "Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?"

The desert man replies, "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small."

Five doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist. After a time, a bird came winging overhead. The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated.

"I'm not quite sure it's a duck," he said, "I think that I will have to get a second opinion." And of course by that time, the bird was long gone.

Another bird appeared in the sky thereafter. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. "I'll have to do some more investigations," he muttered, as the creature made good its escape.

Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey's identity.

"Now, I know it's a duck, but does it know it's a duck?" The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma.

Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon's weapon pointed skywards. BOOM!! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him.

"Go see if that was a duck, will you?"

                      

That's it for today my little dairy queens (and kings). More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

8 comments:

lsfp1960 said...

Finally, I was waiting to head out in the car to do some errands until you posted your entry.  My whole day is planned around that event, don't 'cha know?   You know in thinking back thru the 40 plus years I worked...I never did go out on Wednesday night.  Oh well, too late now.  I'm off to the Post Office~Linda in WA  

bamawmn46 said...

Happy Hump Day, Jimmy....

Enjoy tonight... wish I were going with you!

Jackie

rjsisti said...

The cat story blew me away!

I always loved Hump Day and Happy Hour after work.

It is thundering real bad in my are and heading further south towards your Area 51.  Stay safe but have fun!  I just recently wrote an entry about "looking for love under the influence!  LOL

Hugs, Rose

garnett109 said...

who was the first messiah?

ksquester said...

Who knew that Miss Kitty smoked?   Anne

jmorancoyle said...

    I remember that when I took Latin. That was a special chapter on favorite after school activities.
Jude
http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay
P.S.: I really did take 2 years of Latin in high school. Did me as much good as that tail did for the cat!

lurkynat said...

funny jokes about the cat and the tea kettle!:) thanks Jimmy!
wow  that cat looks like that witch cat from years ago!lol!
hugs,natalie

midwestvintage said...

 I just loved all the pictures today as they really do tell his story.

            Julie