The Politics Of Politics

I often make remarks when things rub me the wrong way and although I may not always be right, I always have an opinion. This particular tenet would fall into the category of freedom of speech. Politics, like religion, is always a volatile subject, but then again, everyone has their own particular soapbox with which one can expound. I regularly make remarks about things in the news, especially when I see things I either don't like or don't agree with.

The current political rhetoric has the media pundits giving their own biased opinions as to whose campaign ads are more derisive, with the term "race card" often used both for and against each candidate. 

While watching MSNBC this morning, the current Obama-McCain mudslinging was the topic of discussion, especially with the newest McCain propaganda comparing Britney Spearsand Paris Hilton with Obama. My personal feeling is the ad was not very well thought out and there are many other points that could have been addressed.

That said, the next item that came up was a video made by rapper and Obama supporter, Ludacris. This video is currently running on You Tube.

                          

Compare this video to the current McCain ad and make your own conclusions.

Isabella, a golden retriever, has come to the rescue and adopted three white tiger cubs whose mother abandoned them at a zoo in Kansas. Isabella had recently weaned her puppies and when presented the kittens, she did what mothers do, cleaning, nursing a caring for the tiger kittens.

Judging from the size of the kittens, it won't be long before they outgrow their current step-mom, who will, I'm sure soon start feeling the kitten's claws. In the interim, the kittens will have time to grow and stabilize.

                        

I don't know if I told you but, I play games (don't go there) on a site known as Club Pogo. There's a bunch of games to play and I dabble in all of them. Yesterday, as I was playing one of the games, I noticed everyone chatting using the usual computer speak and I started using some of the common acronyms one sees on a daily basis. Someone would write "r u winning, lol?" and I'd respond "No, NFL, CIO $20 2 the IRS." Then I'd get a "?". I spent about twenty minutes doing that and by the time I left the site, I'm sure everyone thought I was from another planet.

The Pictures: The world of birds....some of my favorite pictures of beautiful birds from around the planet (and a few from other areas).

This Date In History: 1777; The Continental Congress appoints the Marquis de Lafayette, a French volunteer soldier, a major general in the Continental Army at the age of 19. 1790; The new U.S. Patent Office gives Samuel Hopkins the first U.S. patent for his process for making potash and pearl ashes.

1919; Germany adopts the Weimar Constitution, which provides the basis for government in the country until Adolf Hitler seizes power in 1933. 1941; German field marshall Hermann Goring send a directive to Nazi security director Reynhard Heydrich, ordering him to prepare a "final solution to the Jewish question"; the extermination of the Jews.

1975; Jimmy Hoffa, the former president of the Teamsters union, is reported missing. Although his body has never been found, he is believed to have been kidnapped and murdered.

Birthdays: Jean Dubuffet, painter (1901), Milton Friedman, economist, (1912), Primo Levi, Italian novelist, essayist and scientist (1919), Evonne Goolagong Cawley, tennis player (1951).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A woman took her dog to the vet. She told him, "I think my dog is dead." The vet laid the dog on the table, reached down and took a cat out of a box.The cat walked all around the dog, observing and sniffing and the dog didn't move. The vet turned to the woman and said, "Yes, your dog is dead."

The woman sadly said to the vet with a sigh, "How much do I owe you?" The vet replied, "That will be $245." The woman exclaimed, "$245? For what?" The vet said, "$45 for the office visit and $200 for the cat scan."

Aging Mildred was a 93 year old woman who was particularly depondent over the recent death of her husband. She decided that she would kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over quickly, she decided to shoot herself in the heart.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a burden to society, she called the doctor's office to inquire exactly where the heart was located. The doctor said, "On a woman, the heart would be just below the left breast.

Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her left knee.

                         

That's it for today my little moon pies. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: JimSulliv3, Jimmy's Journal, pshemmingway, Jimmys AREA 51, My Perfect Martini, Jimmys Pictures, Possums Journal, moon pies, Jimmys-MySpace, John McCain

It's Wednesday And Time To Head To The AREA 51 Oasis !

Today is Hump Day, from the Latin, Humpus Deus, id est, et cetera, et e pluribus Unum (not to mention AFL-CIO). Roughly translated, it is the acme of the work week where mature boys and girls take a mini-break from the trials and tribulations of life and gather at their prospective social areas and watering holes for rest and recreation.

One must be careful, however, to restrict one's social actions at said gatherings or face possible recourse, as witnessed by the story of the alley cat, to wit:

An alley cat approached a railroad crossing precisely at the time a train was barreling down the tracks. Thinking he could beat the train, the cat dashed in front of the train and his tail was promptly cut off by the passing train.

The cat turned to see his tail lying there on the tracks and decided to retrieve the tail so that he could take it to the vet and have it re-attached. As he stepped onto the tracks, a second train then severed that cat's head off.

The Moral Of The Story: Don't lose your head over a piece of tail !

With today's lesson firmly embedded in my mind, I will be moseying over to AREA 51 this evening, being keenly alert and wary of any trains, railroad tracks or alley cats that obstruct or cross my path. Hopefully, the ladies will be doing same.

                                               

I still have not been able to successfully resolve my "mission" issues and now even my car is joining in the harassment as it has been running poorly. Then again, some days I can't run and chew gum at the same time, so maybe August will bring better fortunes. We'll see.

Do You Know Why? A man went to a coin dealer and presented for sale an amazingly well preserved coin from the Roman era dated 65 B.C. The man was arrested for forgery. Why? The answer is in today's entry.

The Pictures: One of my favorite subjects, I present for your dining and dancing pleasure, the all knowing, all seeing, star of radio, film and television, Barrack Hussein Obama.

I have been unable from day one to withstand his arrogant, narcissistic belief that a wet behind the ears, first term senator, could just step into the presidency at will.

This NBA mentality is beyond my comprehension and the poor sheep looking for veracity, solace and nirvana in his words boggle my mind even more.

                                                                   

That said, even the photographers, lampooners and cartoonist are picking up what I have said for months. Take a look.

This Date In History: 65 B.C.; Coinage in the Roman Era would not have the initials B.C. on them because they could not have foreseen the coming of Christ. 1619; The Virginia House of Burgesses, the first representative assembly in the American colonies, opens in Jamestown, Virginia. 1935; The first Penguin paperback book is published, an early step in the paperback revolution that would take off after World War II.

1963; The Soviet news service reports that British intelligence officer, Kim Philby, recently revealed as a longtime Soviet spy, has defected to the USSR. 1965; President Lyndon Johnson signs the legislation creating the Medicare system, which establishes limited medical benefits for people 65 years of age or over.

Birthdays: Emily Bronte, novelist (1818), Henry Ford, car manufacturer (1863), Vladimir Zworykin, developer of television (1889), Casey Stengel, baseball player and manager (1890), Henry Moore, sculptor (1898), Arnold Schwarzeneggar, body builder, pseudo actor and half-assed governor of California (1947).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the RR tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn't know what it was. Predictably, he's hit and is thrown, ass-over-tea-kettle, to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.

After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man, "Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?"

The desert man replies, "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small."

Five doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist. After a time, a bird came winging overhead. The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated.

"I'm not quite sure it's a duck," he said, "I think that I will have to get a second opinion." And of course by that time, the bird was long gone.

Another bird appeared in the sky thereafter. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. "I'll have to do some more investigations," he muttered, as the creature made good its escape.

Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey's identity.

"Now, I know it's a duck, but does it know it's a duck?" The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma.

Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon's weapon pointed skywards. BOOM!! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him.

"Go see if that was a duck, will you?"

                      

That's it for today my little dairy queens (and kings). More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: JimSulliv3, Jimmy's Journal, pshemmingway, Jimmys AREA 51, My Perfect Martini, Possums Journal, Barack Obama, superstar, Jimmys-MySpace, Jimmys Pictures, Stay Tuned !,

Did She Ever Return? Charlie Didn't !

With the exception of taxis and one stupid San Francisco cable car (which broke down), I haven't ridden any form of public transportation since my early twenties. The reason I bring this important fact to the spotlight is that I am curious as to the current method of getting off the bus.

In my day, telephone poles had a yellow stripe painted on them denoting a bus stop. If one was lucky, the stop had one crummy bench, consisting of planks over concrete with a backing which had advertising on it. After boarding the un-air conditioned bus, you waited until the bus neared your stop and you pulled a cord near the ceiling which rang a buzzer alerting the bus driver to stop.

If you weren't paying attention, you would miss your stop. The bus driver did not stop at locations where no one was waiting for the bus. My questions is do they still have the old style cord that one pulls to get off the bus or is there a newer signaling device in place? Prompt replies to this question would be appreciated because my ex-mother-in-law called me from the bus with her cell phone and asked the same question. I told her to sit tight and I'd have the answer in a jiffy.

Then I remembered a similar happenstance and I said to myself, 'Self, could it come to pass that my ex-mother-in-law could never get off of that bus?' Is there a possibility of poetic justice? My online classes at the Mortimer Snerd School of Journalism drove me to search out the answer and I have the results. Take a look....

                          

My pal, Linda, author of Linda's World, reported in her journal today that there was an earthquake in California around midday (PST). Although it went unreported, I had a similar experience last week. I asked my lady friend if the earth moved and she said it did, but it was only 1.2 on the Richter Scale. I guess I was too close to the fault line.

The Pictures: Photoshop, a term you may or my not be aware of. It is a term used to change a picture by adding or taking away parts of the picture. Thusly, one can take a picture of a woman with a beautiful body, remove her head and replace it with anyone you like. It is commonly used to make people look better in magazines or photoshoots.

The first picture today is the original and the pictures that follow are the ones that have been "photoshopped." It's interesting. Take a look.

Today is National Procrastination Day so do the best you can.

                              

This Date In History: 1848; During the potato famine in Ireland, a nationalist rebellion led by William Smith O'Brien is crushed and O'Brien is arrested. 1890; Dutch painter Vincent Van Gogh dies at the age of 47, two days after shooting himself. 1958; President Dwight Eisenhower signs legislation creating the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA).

1968; In his encyclical Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI reaffirms the traditional Roman Catholic ban on artificial contraception. 1981; Britain's Prince Charles marries Lady Diana Spencer in an internationally televised ceremony in Saint Paul's Cathedral in London.

Birthdays: Dag Hammarskjold, UN secretary general (1905), Paul Taylor, choreographer and dancer (1930), Elizabeth Dole, public official (1936), Paul Jennings, newscaster (1938), Ken Burns, filmmaker (1953).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A group of psychiatric students were attending their first seminar on emotional extremes. The professor said to the audience, "I'd like to establish some parameters. What is the opposite of joy?" Miss Smith raised her hand, was recognized by the speaker and answered, "That would be sadness." The professor said, "That is correct."

The professor then asked, "What is the opposite of depression?" Mr Jones raised his hand, was recognized and answered, "Elation." The professor said,"Very good, young man, that is correct."

The professor turned to Bubba, who was scouting the young woman next to him and not paying attention. He scowled at Bubba and said, "Young man, do you know what is the opposite of woe?" Bubba turned to the professor and said, "Yes sir! That would be giddyup." 

Two elderly couples were engaged in a friendly conversation when Murray asked the other man, "Fred, how was that memory clinic you went to last month?" Fred replied, "Outstanding! They taught us all the newest psychological techniques - visualization, association. It made a huge difference." Murray said, "Great! What is the name of the clinic?"

Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then, a smile came to his face and he asked Murray, "What do you call that red flower with a long stem?"

Murray said, "You mean a rose?" Fred said, "Yeah, that's it!" He turned to his wife and said, "Hey Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"

Two 80 year old men sat talking about the weather and the latest in medical science, when one man brings up the subject of the latest male medical miracle, Viagra.

The second man wasn't familiar with Viagra and asked the first man what it was for. The first man said, "It's the greatest thing I've ever known. A virtual fountain of youth. It makes you fell like a man of 30."

The second man asked, "Can you get it over the counter?" The first man replied, "You probably could, if you take two pills."

                           

That's it for today my little pigeon toes. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: JimSulliv3, Jimmy's Journal, pshemmingway, Jimmys AREA 51, Possums Journal, The Kingston Trio, The MTA, Jimmys-MySpace, My Perfect Martini, Jimmys Pictures

Monday Has Been Soooooo S-L-O-W

Friday's journey to AREA 51 began at Lakes Cafe and Pub. It turned out to be very comical and unlike my Wednesday venture, I wasn't surrounded by incessant talkers. I arrived at Lakes Cafe and, outside, there must have been thirty-five or forty motorcycles in the parking lot and I thought, 'This is great, and I forgot to wear my blue jean jacket and biker pants.'

I went inside expecting to see the place overrun with Hell's Angels, but once inside, although packed, it looked like a normal crowd (save a few leather jackets). The karaoke show was in full swing and the place was rocking. The "Hell's Angels" turned out to be a group of middle-aged citizens who, like everyone else, were just looking for a fun evening.

I left Lakes Cafe and went to play dominoes for a few hours more and was home by around 2:00 am.

The 110th Congress is the lowest ranked Congress in American history and these assholes have managed to do nothing of consequence during this session. One would think with wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the current economy, the gas crisis and illegal aliens crossing the Mexican-United States border like rats, something would have been accomplished. With representation like that, the presidential election won't really matter. Whether John McCain or Barack Obama-Lama-Ding-Dong become president, the lack of a determined congress will keep America on it's knees.

The Pictures: Signs that make me happy are today's subject. Since most of the pictures that I post do not always follow a true theme (Nancy calls them eclectic), I'll throw in a few more that make no sense at all (or do they?).

                                                   

Meanwhile, I thought I'd show you my video of some of the AREA 51 dancers.

This Date In History: 1750; German organist and composer Johann Sebastian Bach dies at the age of 65, after a failed eye operation. 1750; French revolutionary Maximilien Robespierre, who had executed many others during the Reign of Terror, dies at the guillotine himself after revolutionary leaders tore of his extremism. 1932; Federal troops under General Douglas MacArthur drive the so-called Bonus Army, veterans of World War I who sought payment of a delayed bonus, out of their encampment in Washington, C.C.

1945; A B-25 bomber, lost in low clouds, crashes into the 79th floor of the Empire State Building, killing 14. 1976; Two earthquakes, one measuring 8.2 on the Richter scale, hit Tangshan, China, killing more than 240,000 people.

Birthdays: Beatrix Potter, English writer and illustrator of children's books (1866), Marcel Duchamp, artist (1887), Karl Popper, philosopher of science (1902), Bill Bradley, basketball player and politician (1943).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

An old man went to the pharmacy and asked for six Viagra tablets cut in quarters. The pharmacist said, "I can cut them into quarters, but one quarter will not give you and erection."

The old man replied, "I'm 96, I just want it to grow enough so that I don't pee on my bedroom slippers."

A man and his wife were watching a television documentary about the care of long term, comatose patient . The man said, "I would never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on machines and fluids to keep me alive. There would be no quality of life and if that ever happens to me, pull the plug."

So his wife got up, unplugged the television set and threw out his beer.

Adam was hanging around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely. God said, "What's wrong with you?" Adam said, "I don't have anyone to talk to."

God said, "I will make you a companion and she shall be called woman. This beautiful person will gather food for you, cook for you and when you discover clothing, she will wash them for you."God continued, "She will agree with you on every decision and she will not nag you, rather, she will praise you. She will bear your children and not make you get up in the middle of the night to take care of them."

God went on, "She will never have a headache and she will freely give you love and pleasure whenever you need it."

Adam asked God, "This is wonderful. What will this woman cost?" God said, "An arm and a leg." Adam said, "What can I get for a rib?"

The Rest Is History.

That's it for today my little carpenter aunts (and uncles). More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, JimSulliv3, pshemmingway, Possums Journal, Jimmys AREA 51, Stay Tuned, Possums Videos, Jimmys Videos, ham and eggs, My Perfect Martini

It's Gonna Be A Frisky Friday !

Well, it's Friday my little junior mints and that means it's party time in the AREA 51 arenas around the various cities and towns. I'm thinking about going to the karaoke show at Lakes Cafe and Pub but it's way to early to make a commitment. I still do not have all of my missions planned as of yet, but maybe I'll start formulating a workable Plan A for tonight. One of the major problems I've had this week is finding a day that works for myself and the missionee (That's not a word. Shutup!).

Nevertheless, I'm flying solo tonight (unless one of my missions can escape the home) and I'm sure it will be a fun night. The current plan is not to be out all night, but one never knows....do one?

Congratulations to my pal, Rose, author of Roses Are Read, for being selected as guest editor for Magic Smoke today. You can read Rose's journal by going to my sidebar and clicking the link. Stop by and show her a little love.

Barack Obama made a speech in Germany yesterday and his supporters are already attempting to compare his speech to similar speeches made there by Presidents John F. Kennedy and Ronald Reagan. Uh, sorry Sammy, you ain't no Kennedy and you ain't da prez. With the media spreading their proverbial legs for every move that he makes, Obama might just skip being president and go directly to the Vatican and become pope.

You think subways in New York City are crowded? Well take a look at the subways and trains in China.

                                                                   

The TAC Award and The CAT Award have not had any nominees as yet this week. Although there does not have to be a weekly nominee, keep in mind that you can make nominations for either award each week. The nominations for this week close Monday at noon.

The Pictures: Have you ever wondered about those miracle sprays that they hawk on television? Well, I have found some great new sprays that I'm sure will please you. I also found some new magazines that might interest you as well.

This Date In History: 1261; Michael VIII Palaeologus recovers the city of Constantinople and is crowned Byzantine emperor there, restoring Greek control over the Byzantine Empire after a half century of Latin rule. 1895; Pierre Curie marries fellow chemist Maria Sklodowska. The two researchers will share the Nobel Prize for physics in 1903 for their work on radioactivity.

1929; Pope Pius XI makes the first public appearance by a pope outside the Vatican since 1870. 1999; American cyclist Lance Armstrong wins the Tour de France, bicycle racing's top event, less than three years after being diagnosed with cancer.

Birthdays: Thomas Eakins, painter (1844), Arthur James Balfour, British prime minister (1848), David Belasco, theatrical producer and playwright (1859), Maxfield Parrish, painter (1870), Rosalind Franklin, British physical chemist, whose research led to the recovery of DNA (1920), Walter Peyton, football player (1954).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Thanks to my pal, Garnett, for the following joke.

Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole and the other filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. Finally, he said to the blonde digging the hole, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it. Why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"

The blonde wiped her brow and said, "well, I suppose it looks odd because we're normally a three person team, but today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."

                        

That's it for today my little Cracker Jackson Jills. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: JimSulliv3, Jimmy's Journal, Jimmys AREA 51, Jimmys-MySpace, pshemmingway, ham and cheese, My Perfect Martini, Possums Journal, Stay Tuned !, The Hits Just Keep On Coming, Possums Videos, Jimmys Pictures

It's Not The Knight Before, It's The Daze After !

The Wednesday jaunt to AREA 51 was a strange, but funny experience, to say the least. My pal, Emilio, and I went started out at Lakes Cafe and Pub and even on the way there, we were undecided as to where we really wanted to go. But we decided to start there and see what the evening would bring. Perhaps Plan A wasn't well conceived!

We went in and sat at the bar near the usual Wednesday night poker game. Evidently we were at least three drinks behind as conversations were rampant all over the bar. As we listened to the various banter flying around the bar, we soon learned that the only problem that we would have in understanding the conversations would be our inability to speak Jack Daniels.

                                                         

After a half hour of listing to the inane ramblings and the lack of suitable prospects, we left the bar and headed over to The Hurricane Bar and Grill in Miami Springs. When we arrived, I ran into the former executive secretary of the Board of Realtors, of which I was formerly a director. Although retired, she still plays poker and sings karaoke (which is why we went to The Hurricane). She sang"Honeybun" from the musical, South Pacific, and did a excellent job.

Once again we ran into a young woman who seemed to know as from somewhere and she began speaking with us...and speaking to us...and speaking to us. Finally, I eased my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed Emilio (speed dial). When I saw him reach for his phone, I hung up and excused myself to go to the restroom. Emilio picked up on the plan and went outside so he could "hear better." When we both returned, the "speaker of the house" had moved to new pastures. Once again, we paid our bill and left, just in case.

Our final destination was The Billiards club, where I ran into my sweet Nicole and we chatted for a few minutes. We all had a pretty good time there and, after a while, I headed home arriving at a fairly respectable 1:30 am. I think I'm supposed to meet Nicole later this evening, but I'm really not sure. We'll see.

The Pictures: Today I'm posting some of the funnier pictures in my portfolio. I don't know if you'll remember "the lollipop kid" from The Wizard of Oz, but I found a picture of him today. He's still alive and kicking at age 88.

If you saved a cat when it was small, would you hug it after it grew up? Are you sure?

                                                   

This Date In History: 1701; The French trader Antoine de la Mothe, Sieur de Cadillac, founds Detroit (originally La Ville d'Etroit, "city of the strait") to control the fur trade in the region. 1847; American religious leader Brigham Young and his followers arrive in the Great Salt Lake Valley, where they found the settlement that becomes Salt Lake City.

1866: In an early step in Reconstruction, the process of rebuilding the United States after the Civil War, Tennessee becomes the first Confederate state admitted to the Union after the war. 1959; Vice President Richard Nixon, while visiting a model kitchen in a U.S. exhibition in Moscow, holds an impromptu debate with Soviet premier Nikita Khruschev about the merits of communism and capitalism.

1974; The U.S. Supreme Court rules that President Richard Nixon must turn over his tapes of White House conversations regarding the Watergate scandal to Special Prosecutor Leon Jawarski. 1983; Tipped off by opposition manager Billy Martin, umpires nullify a home run hot by George Brett against the New York Yankees, ruling that the amount of pine tar on Brett's bat violates baseball rules.

Birthdays: Simon Bolivar, South American revolutionary, military leader and politician, known as the liberator for his leading role in the wars of Spanish American Independence (1783), Alexandre Dumas, novelist and playwright (1802), Amelia Earhart, aviator (1897), Karl Malone, basketball player (1963).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?" The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there but I can't carry this load too far."

The old lady suggested, " Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand; put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"

"Why thank you very much," he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home. On the way he says "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?"

The farmer said, "Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, an, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"

The old lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."

                        

That's it for today my little turtle doves. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Party Time !

It's been a dull week so far and today's Hump Day, so I'll be donning my cape and mask and heading out into the cruel world to save ladies in distress. A lot of them protest and say, "Go away!", but I know they're just shy. I've got to remember to put on the right costume 'cause last week I wore my boots and spurs and brought my whip and that just caused problems (You're sick! I know).

So, I'll be heading out to an AREA 51 somewhere for happy hour...probably Lakes Cafe, but I never really know 'til I get there. I've got to get my "missions" in order, because starting tomorrow, I'll probably be hooking up with some of my lady friends. But tonight, I'm just going to wing it and see what happens.

Hurricane Dolly is hitting the Texas coast at the time of this entry and one of the things that piss me off is the coverage by the media. It's a Catagory I hurricane at best and every time you turn on the news, there's always some asshole standing in the wind and rain, giving you a report. What you don't see is the same asshole sitting in a safe room drinking coffee at the motel and only stepping out into the elements to film the report. I'm always concerned about storms and weather, but I don't need 24 hour a day coverage.

While I am aware that the media generates its advertising income based on ratings, there should be a point in time where you decide to be a news organization or a whorehouse. Witness the mindless, childlike fawning and doting over Barack Obama. It's an NBA Basketball mentality and every news organization is subscribing to it.

Although I've said this for months, the fact that the media is biased in their presidential coverage is finally coming to the forefront with shows like Letterman and Leno doing nightly jokes about it. The accusations are also coming from knowledgeable sources from other television and radio stations as well.

Can dogs talk? Check out this video and see!

                                                             

The Pictures: Places is the subject today. A few of my favorite pics from around the world and few that are a little farther out. You really should view these shots in the larger mode.

This Date In History: 1548; Mary, Queen of Scots, aged six, leaves Scotland for her arranged future marriage to the French dauphin Francis. 1848; The British government removes the restriction that prevents Jews from serving in Parliament, which allows Lionel Nathan Rothschild to join the House of Commons.

1952; The Free Officers, a revolutionary group led by Gamal Abdel Nasser, ousts Egypt's King Faruk I in a coup. Nasser himself comes to power two years later. 1996; Kerri Strug clinches the Olympic gold medal for the U.S. women's gymnastics team when she makes a final vault despite having torn ligaments in her ankle in a previous vault.

Birthdays: Raymond Chandler, novelist (1888), Haile Selassie, last emperor of Ethiopia (1892), Pee Wee Reese, professional baseball player (1918), Sir Richard Rogers, architect (1933), Anthony Kennedy, Supreme Court justice (1936).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.

"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.

After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.

"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25..."

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of horse manure. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"

"Horse manure," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.

"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."

                         

That's it for today my little pickled pepper pickers. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !    

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