It's Been A Hard Day's Night

You know, I leave on my Wednesday and Friday missions to AREA 51 with the best intent. I'm not sure if it's because of the times when I hang out with my pal and wingman, Emilio, or the times when I fly solo or the times when I'm with one of my lady friends, but, there are just evenings when I look up and all-of-a-sudden, it's morning.

Such is the case of last evening's sojourn. I did start out a little later than planned as my pal Emilio was supposed to pick me up around 9:00. Of course, that was delayed because Emilio got side-tracked with a matinee and didn't show up until 10:00. Since the code of the west clearly states in paragraph 7, section 18, "Matinees always take precedence over any situation, loss of life and/or limb notwithstanding," I could not find fault with Emilio's tardiness.

Nevertheless, the evening started late and the first stop was Lakes Cafe, where we had a cocktail and engaged in profound discussion with Kristi, the lovely bartender. After deciding against sitting down at the poker game that was going on there and seeing that the bar potential was somewhat geriatric (present company excluded), we move on to The Billiards Club.

There was a decent crowd there and we had another cocktail and just generally shot the bull with James the bartender (and a few passing lovelies) for a while. We finally decided that we'd go and play poker and I think that's where my spiritual advisor, Johnny W. Black, absconded with my watch. Bottom line..... my flight landed at or around 5:00 am. The paper boy says. "Hi".

Authors Note: Thanks Linda, the bread crumb idea worked great! I didn't follow the trail, but I was close behind the duck who was eating the map.

On a serious note, my pal, Garnett's Mom passed away today at 1:00 pm. Please take the time to pass by his journal. http://journals.aol.com/garnett109/mybrainisinpain/

The Pictures: Memories from yesteryear. Do you remember?

This Date In History: 1850; As part of the Compromise of 1850. the United States passes the Fugitive Slave Law, which requires officials in the North to help return runaway slaves to their owners in the South. 1851; The first issue of the New York Daily Times appears. The word "daily" will be dropped from the newspaper's title six years later.

1961; United Nations secretary general Dag Hammarskjold dies in a plane crash in Africa while trying to arrange a cease-fire in the Republic of the Congo. 1970; Rock guitarist Jimi Hendrix dies of a drug overdose in London, England, 1996; Boston Red Sox pitcher Roger Clemens matches hos own record for strikeouts in a single game when he fans 20 hitters, ten years after accomplishing the feat the first time.

Birthdays: Samuel Johnson, writer and lexicographer (1709), John Diefenbaker, Canadian prime minister (1895), Greta Garbo, actress (1905), Agnes de Mille, dancer and choreographer (1905), Robert Bennett, U.S. senator (1933).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A plane took off from Kennedy Airport and after reaching a comfortable altitude, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to flight 718, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather looks good and we should have a smooth ride and uneventful.....Oh, Shit!" Then....silence.

Soon, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, I am sorry if I scared you but the flight attendant spilled a cup of coffee on my lap. You shouldsee the front of my pants."

A passenger in coach yelled out, "That's nothing! You should see the back of mine."

                      

That's it for today my little tiddly winks. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: JimSulliv3, Jimmy's Journal, pshemmingway, Jimmys AREA 51, my perfect martini, Possums Videos, Jimmys-MySpace, ham and cheese, Jimmys Pictures,

Say "Whensday" Yowza!

In preparation for tonight's run to AREA 51, I decided stop by Publix supermarket and pick up a few things for the weekend. As I browsed the store, I began to notice (mostly by weight and sight) that the contents of a lot of products has been reduced. I've known for almost two years now that the housing market was going bad and I remember telling my pal, Emilio, that the far reaching effects would raise food prices.

Since I buy what I need to buy, I haven't really noticed individual price hikes per se, only that my bill was running higher. This is the first time I actually noticed the packaging strategies now being used, i.e., down-sizing and less product per package. Bottom line, higher prices, less product.

In the meantime, it's Hump Day and trip to AREA 51, my definition of Disney World, is in order. I use that reference because you have to be a certain age and heighth to go on the fun rides and I occasionally qualify.

                           

Chinese manufacturers are in the news again as more than 6,200 babies are sick in China, dozens are suffering acute kidney failure and three babies have died, all from an additive being used in powdered milk called Melamine. It is normally used in plastics and was being added to powdered milk to make it appear higher in protein and to pass health inspections. Nice to see that the sorry bastards are putting financial gain ahead of children's health. I do not knowingly purchase anything made in China and don't intend to.

The Pictures: They're called driftwood horses and although I've shown them before, I ran across them again and I like 'em. I hope you enjoy them as well. As you know by now, there's also a few "different" ones too.

                                   

This Date In History: 1630; English Puritans led by John Winthrop establish a settlement on the Shawmut peninsula in the Massachusetts Bay Colony. The settlement is later named Boston, after the town of Boston in Lincolnshire, England. 1787; At the close of the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the delegates sign the new Constitution of the United States. 1796; U.S. president George Washington gives his Farewell Address,in which he declines to stand for a third term and warns the new nation to avoid entanglements with foreign governments.

1862; At Antietam. one of the bloodiest battles of the American Civil War, Union troops led by General George McClellan halt the northward drive of General Robert E. Lee's Confederate army. 1978; Egyptian president Anwar al-Sadat, Israel prime minister Menachem Begin and United States president Jimmy Carter agree on the Camp David Accords.

Birthdays: Rube Foster, baseball player (1879), Hank Williams, country music singer and songwriter (1923), Maureen Conolley. tennis player 1934 Orlando Cepeda, baseball player (1937), Phil Jackson, basketball player and coach (1945).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to everything you say, talk in your sleep.

Jack said to Harry, "My wife is an angel." Harry replied,"You're lucky, mine's still alive."

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger. The other woman said, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong guy."

A man once said, "I never knew happiness until I got married. Then, it was too late."

A woman inserted an ad in the classifieds that read: "Husband wanted." The next day she received one hundred replies. They all said, "You can have mine."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

                                                                

That's it for today my little chick pees. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, JimSulliv3, Possums Journal, my perfect martini, ham and cheese, chick pees, Jimmys AREA 51, pshemmingway, Don't buy Chinese products, Melanine, Jimmys-MySpace, ham and eggs

Possum S. Hemmingway Is Spoiled Rotten !

As I sit at my computer making today's entry, I have come to realize that my cat, Possum S. Hemmingway, affectionately referred to as "Shithead", is spoiled beyond belief. I had to stop my entry because of his constant meowing and go to the kitchen to feed him. When I got to his dish, it still had cat food in it. He walked up to the dish, sniffed it, and turned to look at me.

My first reaction was "what?" Ok, he likes the new cat food smell, so I opened the cat food bag, put my hand in and pulled out about a half-handful of fresh cat food. I then mixed the "new" in with the "old" and voila..he began eating and purring. It looked cute, so I forgave him.

I then refreshed his water and he left his cat food for a drink of water. He sniffed it, turned and looked at me. Do you know what he wanted? Ice cubes! The damned cat only drinks ice water. The same damned cat who I caught three days ago drinking from the toilet. I put ice cubes in the water and he began drinking and purring. You think he was finished? Nooooooooooo!

As I sat back down at my computer to finish today's post, he came out of the kitchen, meowing with his mouth full of cat food! Meowrgh! Meowrgh! He wanted to be petted and the little bastard is spoiled rotten! I did pet him, ok?

The  Monday Night Football game pitted the Philadelphia Eagles against the Dallas Cowboys and was a very exciting game, which the Eagles lost in the waning minutes, 41-37. One of the most interesting moments was when Philadelphia wide receiver, DeSean Jackson, caught a pass from quarterback Donovan McNabb and ostensibly was on his way to score in the end zone.

Prior to crossing the end zone line, Jackson, evidently mentally preparing for his choreographed monkey dance often displayed by players of his ilk, dropped the football. End result....., the touchdown was overturned and ruled a fumble. It was probably one of the biggest bonehead moves of all time and merits my nomination of DeSean Jackson for this week's Cats Ass Trophy. Here's the play, you make the call.

                        

The presidential polls have been fluctuating since the beginning of the campaigns and most of these polls are either taken face to face or by telephone. In both of these types of polling, being politically correct must have some form of effect.

AOL has been running a computer poll since John McCain and Barack Obama were the final candidates. Prior to the conventions, John McCain consistently lead Barack Obama 67% to 33% in every state. After the conventions and to date, John McCain leads Barack Obama by a margin of 60% to 40% in every state. It seems that being politically correct doesn't affect how one votes by computer and methinks it will not affect how one votes behind drawn curtains in the voting booth. See for yourself. http://news.aol.com/political-machine/2008/09/11/aol-straw-poll-sept-11-18/

The Pictures: Take a look at this custom motorcycle I found today. How would you like to look in the rear view mirror and see this behind you? Oh, and there's a few other little ditties for you.

This Date In History: 1620; A group of 102 Pilgrims, most of them religious dissenters known as Separatists, depart for North America from Plymouth, England, aboard the Mayflower. 1804; French physicist Joseph-Louis Gay-Lussac ascends to a record height of 23,018 feet in a hydrogen balloon. He measures the earth's magnetism, temperature, air pressure and chemical composition.

1810; Father Miguel Hidalgo y Castilla begins a revolt for Mexican independence from Spain, which will be formally granted ten years later after a long revolutionary war. 1940; Texas congressman Sam Rayburn is elected Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives, a position he will hold during Democratic majorities in the House until his death in 1961.

Birthdays: Lauren Bacall, actress (1924), B.B. King blues guitarist and singer (1925), James Alan McPherson, writer (1943), Robin Yount, baseball player (1955).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar. He turned to the astonished patrons and said, 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the 'gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed.

In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.' The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The 'gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head.

The 'gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. 'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.'

A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a drunk woman at the end of the bar said, " I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with that beer bottle."

                                    

That's it for today my little tootsie rolls. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, JimSulliv3, tootsie rolls, Possums S. Hemmingway, ham and cheese, my perfect martini, Jimmys AREA 51, The CAT Award, The TAC Award, ham and eggs, Bonehead plays, DeSean Jackson, Jimmys-MySpace,

It's Just Been One Of Those Days

Friday's trip to AREA 51 was cut short due to the death of a family friend of my pal, Emilio. Instead, I accompanied him to the viewing and we spent most of the evening with the deceased's family and friends. The young woman was only 44 years old and succumbed to cancer. I can't begin to tell you how much I abhor cancer and even writing the word aggravates me.

My pal, Garnett's Mom is in the hospital and is in a coma. She was in a coma on a respirator, but as of today, she is now breathing on her own. My prayers are with Garnett, his mom and his family. Please stop by his journal and lend your support. http://journals.aol.com/garnett109/mybrainisinpain/ 

The Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) Award had one nominee made by Garnett, who nominated boxer Roger Mayweather. After telling the media that he didn't believe banks or credit card, then flaunting one million dollars in cash to the media during an interview in his home, was robbed of over seven million dollars in jewelry at a recent burglary in his home. The CAT Award goes to Roger Mayweather. What do you think of banks now, Roger?

The O.J. Simpson trial begins today and a jury has been seated. It's in the early blah, blah, blah stages and methinks it'll be that way the rest of the week. I will be very interested in the outcome of this trial and nothing would please me more than to see his arrogant ass serving time.

The Pictures: A few of us are over 40 and after searching the Internet, I found some computer games available to the older crowd (you know, our parents, their parents, etc.).

This Date In History: 1821; The colony of Guatemala, including the present-day nations of Guatemala, El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua and Costa Rica, declares its independence from Spain. 1830; The Liverpool and Manchester Railway opens. The first railroad to carry both passengers and freight, its success sparks wide spread railroad building in Britain in Britain and the United States.

1928; Scottish bacteriologist Sir Alexander Fleming notices a bacteria-killing mold growing in his laboratory. The mold will later be developed into penicillin, a revolutionary antibiotic. 1935; At its annual convention in Nuremberg, the Nationalist Socialist ( or Nazi) party enacts the Nuremberg Laws, which Jews of basic civil rights.

Birthdays: William Howard Taft, 27th president of the United States and 10th Chief Justice of the Supreme Court (1857), Agatha Christie, English novelist (1890), Jean Renoir, film director and actor (1894), Oliver Stone, film director (1946), Dan Marino, football player (1946).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A city boy was visiting the country and wanted to go hunting. He went to his uncle's farm and asked to borrow his rifle to go hunting. His uncle lent the boy his gun and told him to be real careful around Farmer Johnson's place and not to shoot at any of his farm animals.

The city boy headed off and soon after saw a goat. He managed to creep into range and shot at it. Not knowing if he hit it or anything about animals, the boy ran to the farmhouse and described the animal he shot at to his uncle.

"It was really ugly and it had two saggy tits and a beard!" said the boy.

"Oh, shit!" said his uncle, "You shot at farmer Johnson's wife!"

                                       

That's it for today my little poppy seeds. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, JimSulliv3, pshemmingway, Possums Journal, my perfect martini, Jimmys AREA 51, ham and eggs, poppy seeds, Jimmys-MySpace, Possums Videos

Restless !

It's Friday and after watching the coverage of the anniversary of September 11, 2001, I'm ready to go to AREA 51 for a few cocktails with my pals. Since there's no hurricanes in the vicinity, the evening should be tranquil and I'm sure everyone's ready to party. It's been too long since my spiritual advisor, Johnny Walker Black, and I have had a deep, meaningful conversation and methinks that this will be an excellent opportunity. I wish for an excellent evening for all the AREA 51 members and their pals. Cheers !

                                                            

I must admit that, after hearing both John McCain and Barack Obama speak last evening, both are more intelligent than George Bush. Then again, so is the energizer bunny.

Hurricane Ike is bearing down on Galveston, Texas and the gulf coast area as well. The massive size of Ike is already flooding parts of Louisiana and the storm surge is expected to be very high. The gulf coast is already reeling from previous storms and Hurricane Ike surely is not going to help. My prayers are with the gulf coast residents.

The Cat's Ass Trophy (Cat) Award has one nominee thus far this week. Garnett has nominated boxer Roger Mayweather, who has often said that he does not believe in banks or credit cards and flaunted one million dollars in cash in front of a camera crew who were interviewing him in his home. Mayweather was subsequently robbed of over seven million dollars in jewelry hidden in his home.

Nominations for the CAT Award are open until Monday at 12:00 noon. Look under rocks and in the bushes my little sleuths. Thee's a lot more of 'em out there.

The Pictures: I don't know if I told you, but I play the guitar and keyboards (piano) and I ran across some guitar pictures I think you might enjoy. Of course, there's also some pictures that have nothing to do with music, but I like 'em, so without further adieu.....

This Date In History: 1935; American millionaire Howard Hughes sets the world's land plane record of 567 kph (352 mph) in an airplane of his own design. 1940; Four French teenagers, following their dog into an underground cavern near Kascaux, France, discover 17,000 year old cave paintings made by Stone Age artists.

1953; Future U.S. president John F. Kennedy marries Jacqueline Lee Bouvier in Newport, Rhode Island. 1974; Ethiopian emperor Haile Selassie I, who ruled the country since 1930, is deposed by the Ethiopian military.

Birthdays: Herbert Henry Asquith, British prime minister (1852),Maurice Chevalier, singer and actor (1888), Irene Joliot-Curie, physicist (1897), Jesse Owens, track and field athlete 1913 George Jones, country singer (1931).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks with the sweetest lisp, "Excuthe me mithter, do you keep widdle wabbitts?"

As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's at her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbitt or a widdle brown wabbitt?"She blushes, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and say, "I don't think my pet python weally gives a thit."

Farmer Johnson goes to the vet and says, "My horse is constipated." The vet says, "Take one of these pills, put it in a long tube, stick the other end in the horse's ass, and blow the pill up there."

Farmer Johnson comes back the next day, and he looks very sick. The vet says, "What happened?" Farmer Johnson says, "The horse blew first."

A circus owner walked into a pet shop to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a chicken tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the chicken from the owner. After some negotiating, they settled for $2,000 for the chicken and the pot.

Three days later, the circus owner came back into the pet shop and said angrily, "The chicken is a rip-off. I put him on the pot in front of an audience and he didn't dance a single step."

The pet shop owner said, "Did you remember to light the candle underneath the pot?"

                                                                  

That's it for today my little puddin' heads. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: JimSulliv3, Jimmy's Journal, pshemmingway, Jimmys-MySpace, my perfect martini, Jimmys AREA 51, The CAT Award, ham and cheese, Jokes, Hurricane Ike

September 11, 2001

That day is here again, an eerie annual reminder of what evil can do if left unchecked. I awoke that particular day and did what I normally do every morning. I poured a cup of coffee, picked up the newspaper and began reading the headlines. I recall becoming rather absorbed in a particular story and after finishing the article, it dawned on me that I had not turned on the television. Moreover, I got a gut feeling that I should turn on the television.

Walking to the living room, I realized that the feeling that I was experiencing was the same feeling I had on April 19, 1995, the date of the bombing of the Oklahoma City Federal building. I turned on the television and CNN was doing a live report on an airplane that had crashed into one of the Twin Towers at the World Trade Center in New York City. As I watched in amazement, the continuing report showed the various first responders and agencies reacting to the tragedy.

I had serious doubts almost immediately that the crash was an accident, but I had not mentally ruled it out. Looking at the location where the jet had crashed and seeing the twin tower billowing smoke and flames, I didn't really see much hope for the people at, and on top of, the crash site. But, being an optimist, I had hope that maybe the people could be rescued by helicopter or that the high technology of today's highrises held some sort of of fire escape system that would allow the people to get out of the building.

Then, it happened. I literally saw the second jet crash into the second tower and I knew instantly that the United States was under some form of attack. I began calling family and friends to advise them of the current situation. Some were aware of what was going on and some were not. I told everyone to turn on the television and pay close attention to any warnings from the government.

The news coverage got worse. CNN and all the other television media were now all covering the crash. Reports that the two jets that had crashed into the World Trade Center had been hijacked by terrorists and that more hijacked planes were still in the air. The media said that the military had scrambled fighter jets, that all flights were canceled and all in-air flights were told to land immediately at the nearest airport.

Then came the news that a hijacked plane had crashed into the Pentagon and that another hijacked plane had crashed in Pennsylvania. A feeling of anger started replacing the anxiety that I was feeling. I was no longer sitting down, rather, standing in an almost defensive position in front of the television.

People began jumping from the top floors of the blazing building. Firefighters and police were everywhere, doing everything they possibly could do to come to the aid of the victims. I could see the faces of the people in the streets, watching in horror as things got progressively worse.

Then, the first tower disintegrated right in front of my eyes in a matter of ten seconds. I could not believe what I was seeing. I remember thinking that someone or some country will pay for this! In the next thirty minutes or so, all I could see on any channel was chaos and fear. Then, the second tower disintegrated and collapsed. The ensuing minutes afterwards was excruciatingly sad. People were wandering the streets, injured, covered in white ash, and with a look of complete bewilderment on their faces. My anger turned to rage!

I'm still angry today! I believe in an eye for an eye! Perhaps one day, my anger will subside, but not today! God bless the victims and families of the tragedy of September 11, 2001 and God bless America.

The Pictures: September 11 photographs taken by many different photographers. Warning: Some of the pictures are graphic.

This Date In History: 1777; The British army, led by generals William Howe and Charles Cornwallis, defeats the American forces led by General George Washington as the Battle of the Brandywine, in Pennsylvania. 1847; Stephen Foster's song, "Oh! Susanna" is performed for the first time at a concert in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, the first of his many popular folk tunes to gain widespread success.

1962; The Beatles record "Love Me Do" and "P.S. I love you," their first songs for the music label EMI. 1973; Chile's Socialist president Salvador Allende dies during a military coup led by General Augustine Pinochet and supported by the United States. 1985; Baseball player Pete Rose gets his 4,192 career hit, breaking Ty Cobb's career record which lasted over 50 years.

2001; Arab terrorists hijack commercial jet liners and crash into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center in New York City, The Penatgon and in Pennsyvlania, killing thousands of people.

Birthdays: D.H. Lawrence, novelist and poet (1885), Paul Bear Bryant, coach of the University of Alabama, six time national championship, football team (Roll Tide!) (1913), Tom Landry, football coach (1924), Brian de Palma, film director (1940).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Today's "Hits" will not be entered in deference to the victims and victim's families of the tragedy of September 11, 2001. This section will return tomorrow.

That's it for today my friends. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, JimSulliv3, pshemmingway, The World Trade Center, September 11th, Jimmys AREA 51, Possums Journal, Jimmys-MySpace, Hurricane Ike,

What Did You Call Me?

Here's the scenario: Barack Obama says,"You can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig." John McCain, although he has used the same phrase himself, was offended. When accused of using an insulting remark, Obama, is his best "Vinnie Barbarino" voice, says "Whaa?"

Enter the pain-in-the ass media to do two days of analization. Is it an insult? Is it just a commonly used phrase? Was it meant for Sarah Palin? Was it? Is it? Ad nauseum! The way I've always heard the phrase is, "You can put a silk shirt on a pig, but it's still a pig."

That said, let's analyze this, my little pit bulls. The phrase is used to describe something (or someone) that cannot cannot be changed or does not become different by adding, enhancing or changing the basic character or being. That understood, the phrase, in and of itselfis not offensive.

Now we come to intent. If the phrase comes close to where one lives, it begins to be offensive. If Obama had said, 'You can give an AOL subscriber a computer and a journal site, but that doesn't make he or she a journalist," would that be offensive? If McCain had said, "You can send an idiot from Illinois to the senate. He's still an idiot." would that be offensive? Of course it would!Did Obama realize his implications? Unless he's a complete moron, of course he did! Did McCain feign being insulted for political gain? Of course he did!

I'll now rephrase Obama's words so that it fits all of the politicos. You can send egotistical, self-absorbed, self-serving, liars and thieves to represent the people of the United States. They're still just egotistical, self-absorbed, self-serving, liars and thieves. Nuff said !

Which brings to mind a story. A band was playing in a nightclub one evening and it was the piccolo player's turn to do a solo. As the piccolo player began, someone in the audience shouted, The piccolo player's an asshole!"

Insulted, the bandleader stood up and said, "Who called the piccolo palyer an asshole?" A voice from the back responded, "Who called that asshole a piccolo player?"

It's Hump Day and with any luck, I'll be heading over to AREA 51 for some rest and recreation this evening. I have no idea where I'm going, but I'll just give my car its head and let it take the lead. Then again, maybe I won't because the Amoco station doesn't have a bar.

The Pictures: Today's pictures do not need much explanation. Let's just call them "current events."

This Date In History: 1608; The colony of Jamestown in Virginia, after a troubled first year, elects John Smith as its president. 1846; American inventor Elias Howe patents his sewing machine. 1935; Two days after being wounded by an assassin, U.S. senator Huey Long, the dominant political figure in Louisiana during the Depression, dies in Baton Rouge.

1981; The mural Guernica (1937), painted by Spanish artist Pablo Picasso in reaction to the German bombing of the town of Guernica during the Spanish Civil War, returns to Spain for the first time. 1988; German tennis player Steffi Graf completes the sport's first Grand Slam since 1970 by winning her fourth major title of the year, the U.S. Open.

Birthdays: Charles Sanders Pierce, philosopher (1839), Arthur Holly Compton (1892), Arnold Palmer, golfer (1929), Roger Maris, baseball player (1934), Stephen Jay Gould, paleontologist (1941).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor.

Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit) therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel. Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls.

Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the popoff method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method.

Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.

Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items.

                                               

That's it for today my little pork chops. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: JimSulliv3, Jimmy's Journal, pshemmingway, Jimmys-MySpace, Jimmys AREA 51, ham and cheese, Jimmys Journal, lipstick on a pig

Can I Call Home Before You Shoot Me?

The scientific world keeps coming up with inventions, some good, some not so good. A video of one of the latest inventions was sent to me by my pal, Gipsy. It is a cell phone gun. Yep... a cell phone gun. In the wrong hands (where things of this type are normally found), this could be a major problem and create chaos, especially in a crowded place or on an airplane.

On the other hand, it would be nice to have this type of device on your person when one of the numerous street monkeys try to rob you, kill you or hijack your car. Take a look and beware, the first shot is a little loud.

The O.J. Simpson trial is its second day and they are in the process of jury selection. The judge has told the prospective jurors that if anyone has the intent to punish Simpson for the murders of his ex-wife, Nicole, and Ron Goldman, that they will not serve as jurors. Too bad that same judge wasn't ruling in the first trial. She could have told the mostly black jury just the opposite. The jury selection is expected to take the rest of this week.

                                                      

The Pictures: The Beatles are today's influence on my pictures. Each pictures represents the title(s) to a Beatle song. can you name them?

This Date In History: 1850; Under the Compromise of 1850, California enters the Union as the 31st state. 1914; The First Battle of the Marne ends, in which German troops in World War I are decisively halted in their drive towards Paris, France. 1968; Amateur Arthur Ashe wins the U.S. Open tennis tournament in the first year it is open to both professional and amateurs.

1971; Inmates at the state prison in Attica, New York, take30 guards hostage in a revolt over prison conditions. Forty-three prisoners and guards will die in the revolt, which is violently suppressed four days later. 1976; Mao Zedong, the leader of the Peoples Republic of China since its founding in 1949, dies of Parkinson's disease at the age of 82.

Birthdays: Cardinal Richilieu, French statesman (1585), Frankie Frisch, baseball player (1898), Otis Redding, singer (1941), Huch Grant, actor (1962).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: The

Two elderly women are sitting at a restaurant, eating breakfast. Mabel turns to Ethel and says, "Do you know you have a suppository in your left ear?"

Ethel reaches into her ear, pulls out the suppository and looks at it. She says, "Mabel, I'm glad you told me. Now I  think I know where to find my hearing aid."

A truck driver was driving down the road when he saw a priest on the side of the road. He stopped to pick up the priest and give him a ride. A little farther down the road, he saw a lawyer on the side of the road. He turned on a direct course with the lawyer. The n he thought, 'Oh no, I have a priest in the truck. I can't run this lawyer down."

At the last second, the truck driver swerved to miss the lawyer, but he heard a thump outside of the truck. He looked in his rear view mirror but he didn't see anything.

He turned to the priest and said, "Sorry, father, I just missed that lawyer on the side of the road. The priest said, "Don't worry son, I got him with my door."

                                  

That's it for today my little pigeon toes. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned ! 

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Who'll Stop The Rain?

My weekend jaunt to AREA 51 was a little different than usual, seeing that I was forced to keep one eye on Hurricane Ike. Fortunately, my Friday evening went rather well, because between the intermittent showers, I ran to a friend and we decided to go to my house for a couple of drinks.

Saturday, I went to see my pal, Emilio, who prepared some great Cuban dishes and we had dinner with his daughter and her boyfriend. We ended up doing some Karaoke songs and generally having a good time. Although my alcohol consumption was relatively small, I still didn't get home until 4:00 am and by then it was getting a little windy.

Hurricane Ike took a shift to the south and left South Florida in relatively good condition. It's going through Cuba at this time and is expected to gather strength when it emerges. The next target looks to be the Texas-Louisiana coast as a category three hurricane. I'm sure that by now, the gulf coast residents are getting a little slap happy.

Fanny Mae and Freddie Mac, two of the largest mortgage lenders in the nation, have been taken over by the U.S. government. The CEO's of both companies were also dumped. I strongly applaud this preventative move as these two lenders own or guarantee 5 trillion dollars and have lost over 14 billion dollars. This effectively makes the U.S. government the largest mortgage lender. The move will probably cost taxpayers money initially, but it will inevitably lower mortgage rates and save taxpayers future costs caused if the two giants were to fold completely.

The O.J. Simpson trial begins today in Las Vegas with jury selection. The killer is facing robbery and kidnapping charges and faces life in prison with the possibility of parole. Since the venue is Las Vegas, and not Los Angeles, perhaps this time the jury will get it right.

The Pictures: Are you tired of movies with sequels? The first movie may or may not be good, but you can bet your sweet bippy that the sequels will tank. Remember how good "The Exorcist" was and how bad "The Exorcist II" was?

Today's pictures are called "future movies," id est, sequels to some of today's current feature movies. Take a look.

This Date In History: 1565; Spanish colonists led by explorer Pedro Menendez de Avile establish the first European settlement in North America at Saint Augustine, Florida. 1900; An unexpected hurricane devastates Galveston, Texas, killing 6,000 people.

1954; The Southeast Asia Treaty Organization (SEATO) is founded by the United States, Australia, New Zealand, Pakistan, Thailand, the Philippines, The United Kingdom and France. 1974; U.S. president Gerald Ford, who took office after Richard Nixon's resignation months earlier, pardons Nixon for "crimes he committed or may have committed."

Birthdays: Richard I, the Lion-Hearted, English king (1157), Antonin Dvorak, composer (1841), Jimmy Rodgers, country music singer and songwriter (1897), Peter Sellers, actor and comedian (1925), Patsy Cline, country music singer (1932).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

An elderly couple were discussing plans to get married and wanted to iron out any potential problems with their particular properties.

The woman said, "I want to keep my condominium in my name" The man said, "That's fine with me." The woman said, "I also want to keep my Cadillac in my name only." The man said, "that's fine with me."

Then, the lady said, "I want to have sex six days a week." The man said, "That's fine with me - put me down for Fridays."

A man goes in to work and notices that his co-worker, Tom,  is wearing an earring.He says, "Hey, Tom, I didn't know that you were into earrings." Tom says, "Yeah, it's no big deal."

The man remains quiet for a while, but his curiosity prods him to ask, "When did you start wearing earrings?" Tom replies, "Ever since my wife found it in my car."

Two old men were sitting on a park bench and the first old man says, "Do you ever play doctor with your wife?" The second old man says, "No, what's it like"?

The first old man says, "It's amazing. Last night, my wife and I spent almost 10 hours playing it." The second old man says, "10 hours? How in the hell did you manage that at your age."

The first old man replied, "It was easy, I just left her in the waiting room for the first 9 & 1/2 hours."

                                       

That's it for today my little patty cakes. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, JimSulliv3, pshemmingway, Jimmys AREA 51, my perfect martini, Stay Tuned !, Hurrican Ike, Jimmys-MySpace, Possums Videos