Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year !

Happy New Year To all my family, friends and readers. For those of you who opted to imbibe last evening, I hope your hangover runs it's course quickly. I do recommend checking your foreheads for any scratches or impressions made from the lampshade that you so cleverly decided would look funny as a hat.

2010 will hopefully be more prosperous and healthy for all. Assuming that the economy rebounds this year, I'm sure that everyone looks forward to better times.

As for the White House and Congress, I hope that they can get through 2010 without screwing the American public as little as possible. For those of you who are interested, I am starting a write-in campaign to have Dr. Jack Kevorkian nominated as the White House and Congressional physician.

For your New Year's dining and dancing pleasure I give you the following scenario for your consideration and comments:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 45 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Conservative Answer:

BANG!

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?

That's it for now my little sharpshooters. Have a great day and more soon!

Stay Tuned!

No comments: