The Rules for Bullshit Bingo:
1. Before Obama's next televised speech, print-out the above bingo card.
2. While he reads his teleprompter out-loud, check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words or phrases.
3. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!" There's Nascar racing at Talladega Super Speedway today and if you like excitement, tune in to NBC because the race will be starting at 1:00 pm (EST) and the Nationwide race will run after the Sprint Cup race. This is a race that you really don't want to miss!
Laugh Lines: One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to his daughter, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?"
The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. The rancher's daughter takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when his daughter sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one right here."
The man, assuming he is dealing with a naive young farm girl, asks, "Tell me Miss, how do you know that this is the right cow to be bred?'' The girl says, "That's simple, by the nail that's over its stall." Laughing rudely at her, the man says, "And what, pray tell, is the nail for?" The girl smiles, turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, "I guess it's to hang your pants on."That's it for now. More soon.
Stay Tuned !