Saturday, July 5, 2014

Headline News From The Year 2030

Ozone created by electric cars is now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities are continuing to try to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language. Couples are still petitioning the courts to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran continues to be closed off. Physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. Iranian President Hussein Obama assures Iranian citizens and surrounding countries that the reports of radioactivity are just phony scandals.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Lichtenstein. French President Mohammed Le Fleur and his Vice president Pepe "Abdul" Le Fleur complain about Lichenstein's requirement that all men wear Berkas. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112. Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

The Postal Service has raised the price of first class stamps to $17.89 and have reduce mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

In Other News: Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba..... Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.....

Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States..... Senate still blocking drilling in ANWAR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays......

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative..... Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.....

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2031..... IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent...... Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

That's it for now. More soon !

Stay Tuned

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