Tuesday, September 3, 2013

WAR!.....FORE!


Obama played golf on Saturday following his major announcement that he had decided the United States should take military action against the regime of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad for using chemical weapons on civilians during that country’s civil war.

Obama and Vice President Biden left for the course within minutes of his Rose Garden speech in which he asked Congress to first approve such action.

They played at nearby Fort Belvoir with regular Obama golfing partner Marvin Nicholson, the White House trip director, and with Nicholson’s brother, Walter Nicholson, rounding out the foursome.

Obama is an avid golfer and his outings have resulted in critics frequently saying throughout his presidency that the president is enjoying himself while too many Americans are out of work or suffering through another crisis.

Laugh Lines: A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock and it's half past three in the morning. He thinks, "I'm not getting out of bed at this time" and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. His wife says, "Aren't you going to answer that?"

So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. The stranger says, "Hi there. Can you give me a push?" The man responds, "No, get lost, it's half past three. I was in bed."

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says, "David, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"

David says, "But the guy was drunk." His wife answers,  "It doesn't matter. He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him." So the husband out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs.

He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?" He hears a voice cry out "Yeah please." So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?" The stranger replies, "I'm over here, on the porch swing."

A drunk in a bar throws up all over his own shirt, which was brand new before he came in. He says, "Damn, I threw up on my shirt again. If the wife finds out, she’s gonna kill me." The bartender says, "Don't worry. Put a twenty dollar bill in your pocket and tell her someone threw up on you on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill."

So the drunk goes home and tells his wife about the guy who threw up on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties. She asks, "Why are there two twenties?" The drunk replies, "Oh, yeah, he crapped in my pants, too."

I've removed swimming with dolphins from my bucket list, mainly because I can't swim and drowning with dolphins doesn't have quite the same appeal.

That's it for now my little artichoke hearts. More Soon.

Stay Tuned!

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